In defense of "insta", and even "bad" buddies..

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

nolatom

Contributor
Messages
1,359
Reaction score
869
Location
New Orleans
# of dives
200 - 499
In previous threads, I hear a lot of, "I won't dive with bad buddies", or "I won't dive with that 'insta-buddy'", or occasionally, "I won't dive with a buddy, period". Makes sense, and keeps your risk down, as well as your aggravation. But....

In my rather limited diving career, I've learned an awful lot from pick-up buddies, either from them directly, or from having to help them out, or from knowing when not to try to help them out, than I would have learned otherwise.

Don't get me wrong, you need good buddies at first in order to learn good practice. But after that initial period, someone's got to buddy up with that newbie, or with that single diver, or with me when I'm the single diver (often). I've been on both sides of this equation, and while it's occasionally frustrating or irritating, it's also been fun, eye-opening, and a learning experience.

Some of these pick-up buddies have been just excellent, and helped me get better. Some have been newbies, and I've enjoyed their enthusiasm and willingness to take advice, and how pumped they are after a dive that went well. This, to me, is "paying it forward" for the favors done to me by those experienced divers who buddied with me when I was starting out. Plus, you make a new friend, and can help someone gain confidence--some day, they'll be the one mentoring a new pick-up buddy.

Even the few dives with "bad" buddies have been valuable to me. I had to do my first shared-air ascent when a new buddy (in a threesome, which I dislike) got pretty low on air at depth and needed my octo. There's no better learning experience that doing this in 'real time', you learn lots, including about how you'll react in a pinch. I had to do a surface tow at night in crummy conditions offshore when someone else's insta-buddy had taken off her fins at the stern trail line, then lost the line, and more or less panicked and tried to swim with no fins, almost drained my own tank towing her, but we made it...learned about navigation chasing another buddy who went off the wrong way (with some help from me, I must admit) and we had to find our way back, ending up with a surface snorkel swim to conserve air, and how to calm that buddy down...and had to make the tough decision to let an over-adventurous buddy go off without me when she swam away from the anchor line off into the distance, and I didn't have enough air chase her and still be able to ascend, she surfaced near the stern without a safety stop, I didn't know this til I surfaced after a very anxious ascent.

You all may have better stories than this, but without these buddies, I wouldn't have learned how I'd handle these situations in real life. Nor would I have learned as much about different divers, their styles, strengths, weaknesses, and how to do the "interview" schmoozing on the boat. While we all enjoy the "perfect" dive, the dives where not everything went right were ultimately the most memorable, and the most educational.

So here's to the pick-up buddy. They've taught me a lot, either on purpose or not. No, I won't dive with someone I don't think is safe, but won't reject them just because I don't know them.
 
I think we were talking about insta-buddies that you know are not good as soon as you get on the boat. I don't think anyone was saying they would never dive with someone they don't know but it is not hard to tell before you get into the water if the diver buddied up with you is worth even getting in the water with. This does NOT include new divers as long as they let you know before, and give an honest answer, their skill level. Almost all divers I know will dive with a newbie because it's fun to help out someone who is eager to learn, and not misrepresenting themselves as an experienced diver. Surprises underwater are not a good thing.
 
Diver Dennis:
I think we were talking about insta-buddies that you know are not good as soon as you get on the boat. I don't think anyone was saying they would never dive with someone they don't know but it is not hard to tell before you get into the water if the diver buddied up with you is worth even getting in the water with. This does NOT include new divers as long as they let you know before, and give an honest answer, their skill level. Almost all divers I know will dive with a newbie because it's fun to help out someone who is eager to learn, and not misrepresenting themselves as an experienced diver. Surprises underwater are not a good thing.

There is no such thing as an inta-buddy. YOU have the choice ALWAYS to go to that
step. You can call. You can teach. You can guide. You call the shots.

If I were ever "insta-buddied":wink: we would start from the ground floor. I would check his equipment, and I would introduce him/her to mine. If ever the MOMENT came when I felt uncomfortable I would inform the DM that I am solo.

Oh...by the way...if you are not ready to solo dont ever complain about buddies...They save lives!
 
I am willing to dive with anyone, and have. I am not willing to be legally liable for anyone else. I don't feel as much exposure in other countries. Here in the U S of A it is getting to be a big problem.
 
Sage, my definition of an insta-buddy is someone you are assigned to on a dive boat. I never said I would get in the water with someone I don't trust. Have you never been on a boat where you have been given someone to pair up with? You can tell a lot by talking to your Insta-buddy before you get into the water. You can also tell if what he told you was BS by watching how he gears up. Thank you for letting me know I can make a decision and tell the DM I don't want to dive with him. I have done that believe it or not.
Oh...by the way...I just returned from the Philippines after diving solo for almost the whole trip, even at resorts that don't normally allow solo diving. I was in the proximity of groups at times but I was on my own. I also spent December diving in Micronesia the same way. Yeah, I guess I'm ready to solo.
 
I would be the first person to admit I don't know everything and am greatful to the more experienced divers who buddied with me at the beginning. I guess that's how I (and I would imagine all divers) get better at diving. I would buddy with anyone but would start from the basics...the interview, find out about their gear etc.
Having said that what are the most popular things you'd ask a "new" buddy before the dive?
I usually chat about how many dives they've done, how long they've been diving, their certification level (although the last one is not really an indicator).
During a recent Nitrox course we had a guy who was obviously trained and said he'd done a reasonable number of dives, but once in the water he nearly lost his tank, lost his buddy and decided to bolt for the surface on his own from around 28msw (approx 84fsw). Not good! It was lucky our instructor decided to hang back a bit and noticed what was going on with the guy. I stayed with the remainder of the group making sure their buddy had a buddy, if you know what I mean.

cheers
Mike
 
Denny, Werner.... comes to mind. he is a good diver....just in a different direction. probably wouldn't sue us cause he is German....is that cool to say? those dang Americans.
 
Diver Dennis:
Sage, my definition of an insta-buddy is someone you are assigned to on a dive boat. I never said I would get in the water with someone I don't trust. Have you never been on a boat where you have been given someone to pair up with? You can tell a lot by talking to your Insta-buddy before you get into the water. You can also tell if what he told you was BS by watching how he gears up. Thank you for letting me know I can make a decision and tell the DM I don't want to dive with him. I have done that believe it or not.
Oh...by the way...I just returned from the Philippines after diving solo for almost the whole trip, even at resorts that don't normally allow solo diving. I was in the proximity of groups at times but I was on my own. I also spent December diving in Micronesia the same way. Yeah, I guess I'm ready to solo.

Sage's 1st rule of boat diving is to allow no one to assign anyone to my responsibilty. It wouldnt be the 1st time that I just didn't dive. I accept my buddy. From there I go into rescue mode. Can I save myself? Could I save him/her too?

Don't be a statistic. Plan your dive.:wink:
 
So you go through the roster and pick your own buddy? How many times have you refused to dive if they don't meet your standards? Can you save yourself? I would hope so, if not you should not be in the water. Can you save them? Depends on the situation and if you could do it without hurting yourself too. I always plan dives, so I guess I won't be a statistic. What happens if you pick someone based on the story of experience they give you but they are fudging a bit, or a lot and you don't find out until you are in the water?
These are the types of scenarios that cause many experienced divers to be wary of Insta-Buddies.
 

Back
Top Bottom