How long before it's all really dialed in?

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I have been diving since 1967, and some days I still suck at it. Being "dialed in" is an illusion that you have until you are tired, cold, sleep deprived, slept too long,, ate too much breakfast, have sinus attack, eat a can of sardines before dive, have backache, earache, toothache, twisted knee or ankle, nauseous, constipated, bloated, flatulent, new gear, broken old gear, a really bad instabuddy on a boat, choppy seas, current, poor visibility,

When you can deal with all that, then you will be close to being "dialed in".
 
For example my wife had a lot of trouble with buoyancy at first and of course refused to listen to my tips…

So, I’m not alone in this experience?
 
my wife had a lot of trouble with buoyancy at first and of course refused to listen to my tips :).

My wife takes everything I suggest onboard and through my guidance and advice she has become a very qualified and competent diver. She has told me numerous times that I have taught her far more than she learned from her OW and AOW instructors and countless DMs.

Not understanding why your wife brushes you off when you try to help. Especially with a challenging and potentially dangerous sport. Was she always like this? I sense a trust/communication issue that has nothing whatsoever to do with diving.
 
It’s not the number of dives. It’s where you dive and the regularity.

@WillieJustice

This ^

A more productive focus than the number of dives would be to have a skill plan as one of your objectives every time you dive.

Example:

Objective #1: Surface alive and unbent (this objective never changes)

Objective #2: Spot as many loggerhead turtles as possible

Objective #3: All propulsion comes from the feet, no hand swimming

For Objective #3, you can select one skill to focus on from amongst the five fundamentals:

(a) buoyancy control
(b) trim
(c) breathing
(d) propulsion
(e) awareness (seven aspects)

This way, you’re proactively defining what you want to work on rather than passively waiting over time for skills to coalesce. IOW, you develop a baseline competency you’re envisioning for one of these skills in 20 dives versus 200.

Learning is winning and enjoy the journey.
 
It’s not the number of dives. It’s where you dive and the regularity.
100 %

If you're diving daily twice a day you'll be dialled in within a week wet or dry!
 
I think many people feel comfortable fairly early, but that’s not the same as being effortlessly dialed in with spot-on trim and buoyancy. I’ve noticed that happens for myself and for others around 100 dives in whatever particular configuration, where you can no longer look at a diver and see “ah, they’re new to diving/doubles/drysuit/CCR/whatever it is.”

I’m a social psychologist, and that aligns well with our understanding of learning and the time it takes not only to become proficient in a skill, but for that proficiency to become the automatic “default.”
 
Not understanding why your wife brushes you off when you try to help. Especially with a challenging and potentially dangerous sport. Was she always like this? I sense a trust/communication issue that has nothing whatsoever to do with diving.
Perhaps. Yet we've managed to muddle through anyway. We had our 31st anniversary last week.
 
We have 4 drysuit dives so far, all in rental gear. Now we are going to start using our own gear, our drysuits and bpw's. We expect to spend some time just getting everything dialed in and adjusted properly, and we're probably not going to feel very accomplished 😂 As long as we are making progress we are happy, we know it will take a lot of time and a number of dives to be good at this.
 
If you think your skill are OK, swim close to a loose sandy bottom for a while then stop, turn around and see how much sand you kicked up. None is what you’re looking for.

The core skills of trim (flat), finning (not just forward but turning, and reversing) and buoyancy (especially when motionless) all takes time. Sandy and silty bottoms are your witness. Being motionless is your aim. Being self critical is vital.
That's a good one. Also, try swimming back to shore about a yard (metre) below the surface where the pressure change is greatest. Try not to rise or sink.
 
We have 4 drysuit dives so far, all in rental gear. Now we are going to start using our own gear, our drysuits and bpw's. We expect to spend some time just getting everything dialed in and adjusted properly, and we're probably not going to feel very accomplished 😂 As long as we are making progress we are happy, we know it will take a lot of time and a number of dives to be good at this.
best we to learn is to have your own gear. Study the specs and the maintenance. So many you tube videos from great channels will help you out. Check out Alec Peirce Scuba, i learn so much from this guy.
 
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