How do you handle "rude"?

[Diver Dennis]

Great link Laurens. Thanks.

I agree with talking him. It sounds amazing but sometimes these guys don't realize that they are being so selfish.

 

[trigfunctions]

I had an important realization on a dive trip to Bonaire a couple years ago- people act the same underwater as they do on land. If people are friendly and considerate on the boat they probably will be underwater too, and if people are jerks on land they will be jerks underwater.

 

[neonstingray]

You mentioned that you weren't the only one bothered, so I'd go to the DM with another member. That way you'd have the reinforcement to show the DM that you weren't the only one bothered. If the DM still didn't bother to address the guy, then I'd try to take it up with him politely. I'd go to the DM first because if the guy really is a jerk, he might not only ignore your request, but go out of his way to bug you even more. If the DM confronts him first, then you're less likely to be a target of jerk-wrath, and the guy would probably be less likely to go out of his way to ignore or annoy the DM.

Austin

 

[NadMat]

I had an important realization on a dive trip to Bonaire a couple years ago- people act the same underwater as they do on land. If people are friendly and considerate on the boat they probably will be underwater too, and if people are jerks on land they will be jerks underwater.

good general observation, but many photogs, especially those fairly new to it, are just so task loaded and narrowly focused that that don't realize what they are doing. Sometimes a quick conversation can help them to realize this. Some are unable or unwilling to change that focus. A former photog buddy of mine used to bring me along as buddy with specific instruction to help him curb his occasionally (and unintentionally) rude behaviour. I had instructions to physically stop him if required, and sometimes it was. I Have snatched him back many times as he attempted to speed through other divers checking something out for 'his' shot. Good news, is that eventually he developed enough memory muscle for photography that he was no longer as heavily task loaded and was able to stop himself (usually) from unintentional rude behaviour.

Also, have found that video of photog indulging in rude behaviour is a great 'lesson' for them. Above mentioned buddied applied that lesson to another photog on live aboard trip, guy didn't believe stories of how rude he was behaving, thought others just exaggerating until he got to see himself in action. He buddied with non photogs on boat for rest of trip and gave his buddies same instructions as my photog buddy had given me.

Sometimes they just don't realize it when lost in the thrill and frustration of trying to get that ' perfect ' shot.

 

[bikefox]

I would have asked the owner of the dive op for a seperate DM. In my opinion 8 divers and one DM is too much anyway. I'd let the owner know the 5 of us would tip the DM well. Unless it's a very busy season I would think most dive ops would listen.

 

[MSP Rescue Diver]

http://www.underwaterphotography.com/Frink/Dive-Etiquette/Buddy-Diving.asp

This should be made a sticky in the photography forum.

Marc

 

[1RUSTYRIG]

Voice your concerns privatley to the DM, or better yet, the owner of the operation.

I disagree...I would confront the guy after dive 1. When he started pointing out all the great shots he got I would tell him that I saw nothing but his fat ***. Then make a game plan for the next dive that ensured he stayed in his own 'zone' and out of mine.

 

[CD_in_Chitown]

I'd be more pro-active underwater. If you're consistently being elbowed or pushed out of the way start pushing back. When you get back on the boat laugh it off, "hey I thought we were going to have to play hockey over the view of that critter" and if it becomes an issue make the point clearly that all of you expect to enjoy your dives and that none of you, except his wife, are interested in his ability to capture footage.

 

[ArcticDiver]

Sure am glad that this cyberdiving forum exists to let some folks take out their life frustrations on the keyboard instead of a live human being. After all if not all the perfect, non-offending people would have to stuff that frustration to the detriment of their mental and physical health.

Less sarcastically, don't ever assume anyone else is a mind reader, or that their ideas and yours match. As an old guy once told me: There is no such thing as "common sense" because there is no such thing as common experience". So, talk to the person. As has been posted the photog is probably just so focused on the goal all sense of others has been lost. Underwater just put out a hand to prevent a collision. If it becomes routine have a private, calm talk on the surface so you can understand each other.

Or, as a friend of mine posts: Be Nice.

 

[Guba]

Great answers, all! I really appreciate the suggestions (well, maybe with the exception of the knife...not that we didn't consider it!) Okay, here's what I actually did.

On the way out on day three, the boat was pretty quiet. I think most of us were fuming. The camera guy was fiddling with his equipment, as usual. Strictly on a hunch, I wandered over to him and his group and began asking him about his camera. He was glad to show it off and talk with me about the places he's used it and such. I showed interest and talked about how I was still using film and stills, but hoped to move up to video, but that I still enjoyed getting the shots I did. In short, I opened up dialogue with him. The remarkable thing was that I didn't even have to approach the subject of his rudeness. This was a person who thrived on attention, and shooting the video seemed to be his way of getting it. Once I "validated" his area of expertise, his whole demeanor changed. On the rest of the dives, he was incredibly better. Oh, he still lingered over his scenes, but he stopped hogging and horning in on what everyone else was looking at. Even his partner seemed better at avoiding collisions.
I just wish it hadn't taken day three to realize this tactic, which I'm sure wouldn't work on every similar situation. Therefore, I appreciate all the suggestions about how to handle these types of breaches of diving eqituette. Thanks to everyone for the comments and advice.