"Helpful" male dive buddies

[tkdgodess]

I have one male buddy who likes to help carry tanks, i let him. I never have an attitude when I've made a gear assembly oversight. No one is perfect.... I switched to long hose and back up 3 years agp, and i still forget to put the necklace on..... We find out on the s drill. I can not for the life of me unscrew my right glove by myself. Me and my buddies look out for each other, male and female.

 

[mrokern]

Looking out for other folks is good. Maybe it's cultural (up here in MN we tend to be standoffish Scandinavians, doncha kno...) but up here it's just polite to ask before putting hands on someone for anything unless their safety is in immediate jeopardy.

 

[yardpro]

How very childish that response would be. I sincerely hope that is not true. "Protecting" would be responding to a problem. Assuming she is less capable simply because she is female is not "protection."

OMG.. get over it.. they are not TRYING to imply she is less capable...it is just how most men area raised.

I was raised to open the door for women, does it mean that i think that they are less capable of opening it by themselves..not at all, it is the gentlemanly thing to do.

I was raised to give up my chair for older people and stand so they may sit, get over the feminist prejudices

 

[Bratface]

On one occasion, someone came up to me and tested my reg and bc inflator while I was wearing my gear without even asking me --

Fortunately, this has never happened to me. It is rude and patronizing behavior. I have been know to be totally inappropriate on occasion, and I probably would have replied like this: "What are you doing? Oh My God!! I thought you were trying to touch my boobs!" I am sure that would stop Mr Helpful and he would think twice about ever doing that again.

 

[Dsix36]

OMG.. get over it.. they are not TRYING to imply she is less capable...it is just how most men area raised.

I was raised to open the door for women, does it mean that i think that they are less capable of opening it by themselves..not at all, it is the gentlemanly thing to do.

I was raised to give up my chair for older people and stand so they may sit, get over the feminist prejudices

The problem is that there are so few of us left that people do not know how to deal with old fashioned values.

The world would be a better place if our grandparents were here to smack the crap out of some of the young uns.

 

[uncfnp]

OMG.. get over it.. they are not TRYING to imply she is less capable...it is just how most men area raised.

I was raised to open the door for women, does it mean that i think that they are less capable of opening it by themselves..not at all, it is the gentlemanly thing to do.

I was raised to give up my chair for older people and stand so they may sit, get over the feminist prejudices

The problem is that there are so few of us left that people do not know how to deal with old fashioned values.

The world would be a better place if our grandparents were here to smack the crap out of some of the young uns.

Think about what you are saying. There is a huge difference between opening a door or giving up a chair and adjusting, unasked, someone's dive gear. Polite is assistance with heavy gear or asking, man or woman, if they need help with their setup. Rude is adjusting anyone's gear, man or woman, without asking. Ask yourself, how would you feel if the situation were reversed.

 

[morecowbells]

I agree with the other posts about how most of these guys are not aware of how off putting their actions are. I think that for the most part they are trying to be of chivalrous and protective. I have had a couple(although very few)incidents of guys assessing and touching my gear. I tell them the truth by reciting "my dive buddy (my husband) and I have our own system of checking each others gear, but thank you for your concern." This way no feelings are hurt but you get your point across. If the behavior does not subside, every few minutes throughout the dive ask them how much air they have left. Waive buh-bye when they ascend for their safety stop.

 

[RJP]

Use the "buddy system" like we do here in NJ: "Hey buddy, keep your ****ing hands off my gear."

 

[chillyinCanada]

Oh for cryinoutloud . . . everyone is so sensitive.

Yes, the guy that "helped" OP definitely over-reached. With him, I'd make a joke like some that have been suggested. On the other hand, if OP is diving with these big brothers on a regular basis, maybe he's not an ass but a kind hearted soul who misunderstood the need for "help" at that moment.

I've reached over and flipped this or that for another diver without them asking. Sure usually say "excuse me, but your weight belt is upside down" or whatever. True, would not be checking anything more than buckles and such on another diver's bcd without them asking, and then would only touch the buckle or whatever while saying such as "excuse me, may I get this twisted strap for you . . . ?"

But there must be many many of my fellow divers that have wondered why I was fooling around behind their butt on the seat, when all I'm doing is untwisting something.

By the way, I'm female and prefer not to buddy with a stranger . . .but we are still all "buddies" on the boat. Let's watch out for each other.

Men? Heck I only understand one thing about them.

 

[Dr. Lecter]

Your appropriate response: 'Touch my gear without asking again, and you won't come up from the dive.'
Your husband's appropriate follow-up: 'I'll make sure of it, understand?'