"Helpful" male dive buddies

[Hetland]

Well, there are very few scuba diving girls in my surroundings - so few that we know each other quite well by name. I mean of course scuba divers, who dive all around a year, also in cold, Polish conditions. Guys tend to act patronizing, take your equipment and try to check it (I`m allergic to somebody touching my staff without permission,!). That`s especially popular among men with less dives and definitely worse skills then mine! I love their faces, when they see me under water after short surface speach. I don`t need anybody to carry my tanks - and I dive in doubles, often with stage bottles, even if it weight more less the same as me (everything is around 60 kilos). This patronizing style is very popular among recreational divers, none of my tech collegues would dare to act like this!
What`s funny, I feel much better with technical divers, in some magical way they know very well how to behave. There`s no place for patronizing treatment, for "good advice", stupid smiles, taking equipment without asking, etc. It`s funny, because they can`t be used to technical diving girls - there are so few of us and they treat us like "normal" buddies. I have absolutely no idea what is causing this difference...

Probably because a tech diver can tell in a few seconds which divers are accidents waiting to happen, and which divers are self-sufficient.

Divers who are insecure may also tend towards "helping" others in order to avoid focusing on their own nervousness.

And let's face it, some guys are trying to get lucky.

 

[Dr. Lecter]

there aren`t enough women divers. Unfortunately, because in my opinion we make better divers, calm and cautious, with great buoyancy.

Where's that popcorn emoticon when I need it.

 

[pocky21]

And let's face it, some guys are trying to get lucky.

How dare you insinuate male actions are influenced by such a primal, uncivilized concept!

 

[JudasFm]

Speaking as a woman here, I have to admit that all the men I've encountered at my dive center - tourists, instructors, DMs alike - have been very friendly and helpful and none of them have touched my diving equipment unless I specifically asked for their help.

However, I have had one woman in her 50s bustle up to me while I was just sitting there and insist on fiddling with my BCD and straightening it (she didn't alter it in any way, she just checked it over and moved the straps a little closer to my neck). When I stood up to go to the boat, she checked around me and brushed down my BCD like she thought I had dirt on it. I tried telling her politely, "Thanks, it's alright, but I can do it," and she just said, "No, no, it's easier when you have help, isn't it?" If we'd been assigned as dive buddies or even if she worked there or had just started work there, I could have understood, but she was just someone going on the same dive as me.

Though I later found out from the dive guide that she was a retired PADI instructor, so at least I was bustled by someone experienced

 

[Dr. Lecter]

she was a retired PADI instructor, so at least I was bustled by someone experienced

Correction: you were bustled by someone who once held a specific plastic card, and who may or may not have been particularly experienced/competent

The level of politeness most people in this thread have related astounds me. I would be fairly terse with anyone questioning my gear configuration, much less someone reaching out and attempting to touch it. OTOH, I respond well to simple, direct statements about what someone thinks is wrong with my gear: assess the area in question and either thank them if they're right, or tell them to go themselves if they're wrong. Must be a guy thing

 

[JudasFm]

The level of politeness most people in this thread have related astounds me. I would be fairly terse with anyone questioning my gear configuration, much less someone reaching out and attempting to touch it.

Even now with only a few more dives under my belt, I think I'd be a lot less tolerant. However, when it happened, I was a newly qualified OW diver (I think it was actually my first 'real' dive) and I didn't have the confidence to protest more strongly

 

[j2s]

There are patches you can buy: Solo Diver, Rebreather Diver, Cave Diver, Advanced Nitrox Diver, Trimix Diver, Deep Diver and a bunch that say how many dives you've done......Buy them all and put them on your dive bag for all to see !!!!... Even if you're not one of those, they'll keep their mouths shut and mind their own business !!!!....And if some one asks you about it, act mysterious and vague....They'll think you're nuts and leave you alone HA ;P !!!!!.......

 

[chillyinCanada]

LOL, not so sure about that patch advice. Two of the worst divers I've been in the water with, each made sure everyone knew their cert levels. One was Rescue and the other Master Diver. They'd have been better off to have kept the cert levels to themselves. As it was they should have been embarrassed. I was embarrassed for them and blame their instructors.

 

[Nemrod]

The last day of our vacation, the rest of our group was gone. My wife and I were on a boat with strangers. There were three women who had the same AL Zuma and one lady (probably not 30 yo and quite athletic looking also had a regulator like my wife's Legend). Now, see, my wife fusses if I do not help her except when she does not want me to help her so I just help her and endure her wrath as I can not tell when I am and when I am not supposed to. However, that is not the issue, my wife indicated to me the location of her rig and I picked it up and one armed it to the bench and spread the shoulder straps for her to get in. The lady, the 30yo athletic one, must have thought that her BC and was getting ready I am sure to unload on me for helping her and was getting quite puffed up, as my wife appeared and slid into her Zuma her eyes locked with the young lady, that look, like, this is mine and the goofy guy holding it is mine to. I looked at the lady and told her matter of factly but politely, your BC is up front where you left it, this one is M.C.'s. She never spoke to us nor us to her again, guess I made her mad. Do not know. But she did find her BC and I think had a good dive.

I have been a diver for longer than most have been alive, I do not interfere with other divers junk. UNLESS, they are about to do something that I know will likely hurt them or somebody else. I am fully capable of sitting silent and more than willing to allow people to do really stupid things like mount the regulator backwards and route the hose over their left shoulder, but if it may hurt them, male or female, I might think I should quietly say something, like, psssst, psssssssssst, your air valve is not on, just as they are half way into their giant stride.

N

 

[fbk]

I am fully capable of sitting silent and more than willing to allow people to do really stupid things like mount the regulator backwards

I've watched someone do that... screw the yoke screw back to front ie into the valve outlet, nice and tight, then open the valve wondering why there is air coming out. Tighten, adjust, try again, air still coming out... "hey buddy my reg is leaking can you see what's wrong here?"

Yes... you're a moron that's whats wrong.