Good Buddies Gone Bad

[shoredivr]

One of the guys I learned to dive with 13 years ago demonstrated just that sort of thing....blown dive plan, deciding to penetrate a wreck at 90 ft with less than 800psi, took off any old direction he felt like. I just stopped diving with him.

 

[DivemasterDennis]

I have to say, I'm glad that I don't have the exact same experience. However, I have been on a liveaboard and had to tell a diver I would not dive with them, and why- the reason being that they were not safe, they were environmentally disastrous, and they clearly had no appreciation for the importance of basic diving safety. I told the person (who I had to live with on the boat for another 5 days) just what I felt, but I did so privately so as not to embarrass them. I had a little clout as a PADI pro, but the point is, you don't just be polite and risk your own safety or even your own enjoyment of a dive trip. You know these people better then any of us who are responding, so you will know which of the following options is best. You should either:

a) never discuss the issue with them, but stop diving with them
b) discuss the issue if they bring it up, telling them simply that the two of you prefer not to dive with them, and go into why only if they insist.
c) send then a copy of our book "The Scuba Snobs Guide to Diving Etiquette." Probably everything they ever did that was upsetting to you is discussed in that book, available as paperback or ebook from amazon or barnesandnoble.com or link to either at our website, scubasnobs.com.

If you want to amend the relationship and salvage them as buddies, I really think the book is a good way to start the conversation. But if the relationship is gone forever, you can simply send then a brief text: "you are dead to us." I'm serious about the book, though. Funny and informative.
DivemasterDennis scubasnobs.com

 

[CamG]

Greetings snowdog and it really is up to you what to do but I would just sit them down and talk.
These are not small or little issues you have described but real life threatening things that can lead to fatalities.
Serious topics that need to be addressed plain and simple.

When you can not in good faith dive with another person you need to act on that!
Serious conversation and if it can be worked out great, if not them it is simple.
Not everyone will respond in a favorable manor.
Some will continue to dive recklessly and maybe be fine but some will die needlessly.
You can not help them at that point they choose their own fate.

CamG Keep Diving....Keep Training....Keep Learning!

 

[wavetrain75]

I have a mental list of about 10 people that I will never dive with again. None of them are close friends so it hasn't been awkward.

If they are good friends it's a good idea to talk to them, but if they don't change their ways let them know that you won't be getting in the water with them again. I tell all my students to not put themselves in a bad situation trying to bail out an idiot.

 

[captain]

If your wife is your buddy and the couple are each others buddy, how are you affected. Unless this is team diving as is typical in DIR I fail to see a major problem. Two divers trying to be buddy's is hard enough, four, unless operating as a team is a cluster you know what.

 

[Pullmyfinger]

They aren’t good dive buddies, they fail to follow dive plans, and are generally unsafe.

It sounds like they dive just like they were trained to, their instructor probably thinks he did a great job.

These buddies of yours are no different than some insta-buddies out there. You can still dive with them, just know what to expect.

-Mitch

 

[The Chairman]

If your wife is your buddy and the couple are each others buddy, how are you affected.

I agree. I often see people complain about bad divers when in fact they are only diving differently. In fact I remember listening to two different buddy sets complain about the other. After listening to the second pair, I had to laugh out loud and tell them that they said almost the exact same thing the divers they were complaining about said about them. In reality they had two conflicting plans: two were hunters and two were photographers. Mind you, neither group complained about me, at least to my face, and I was a solo diver flitting between the two groups.

That being said, I have also heard legitimate complaints. Depending on the situation, I will sometimes approach them and try to help them see how they are not being safe. There are only a few people I would not want to dive with again. I'm a pretty flexible diver and can adjust to about any diving style.

 

[danvolker]

I agree. I often see people complain about bad divers when in fact they are only diving differently. In fact I remember listening to two different buddy sets complain about the other. After listening to the second pair, I had to laugh out loud and tell them that they said almost the exact same thing the divers they were complaining about said about them. In reality they had two conflicting plans: two were hunters and two were photographers. Mind you, neither group complained about me, at least to my face, and I was a solo diver flitting between the two groups.

That being said, I have also heard legitimate complaints. Depending on the situation, I will sometimes approach them and try to help them see how they are not being safe. There are only a few people I would not want to dive with again. I'm a pretty flexible diver and can adjust to about any diving style.

This is a typical SB thread...each of us has gone off on a tangent.... the OP was talking about a couple that frequently goes OOA, blows safety stops, goes into deco on supposedly no-deco dives, and more....this behavior is going to have consequences if you are diving in a group with them, long enough..at some point, you would expect a serious OOA event to become your problem, as you have to deal with their emergency. And that would be the "least" annoying of the issues you might expect....
So for this OP and the other couple he refers to, I don't think he should try to fix their issue....people that purposely run OOA and ignore stops and pay no attention to planning, then don't want to talk about it later, WILL NOT be amenable to the suggestions the OP might offer them.... this is a "special" kind of diver, we do see sometimes..and this is what Rule Number One was created for

 

[The Chairman]

people that purposely run OOA and ignore stops and pay no attention to planning, then don't want to talk about it later, WILL NOT be amenable to the suggestions the OP might offer them.... this is a "special" kind of diver, we do see sometimes..and this is what Rule Number One was created for

Tangent? You're offering out and out extrapolation here! I have been accused of going OOA on a dive when I had over a 2,000 PSI in my tank. Why? We were practicing OOA drills and while both of us had plenty of gas, we went through the entire stop breathing on her gas. There are two sides to every story and even when I offered to show him the pressure in my tank, I was called an "out and out liar". Even the Captain and DM were involved in this incident. They laughed it off, but I was offended that they left that boat "KNOWING" that I was OOA. Quite often the buttinskies in the world find themselves isolated or not listened to. Does this describe the OP? Probably not. Its best not to take everything posted on the internet at face value. After all, the various insights are far more entertaining then everyone singing in concert.

Just call me the "Strokes Person".

 

[danvolker]

Tangent? You're offering out and out extrapolation here! I have been accused of going OOA on a dive when I had over a 2,000 PSI in my tank.

I even heard you were OOA at the booth in a dive show....Guess you better be careful about who you dive with

After all, the various insights are far more entertaining then everyone singing in concert.

Just call me the "Strokes Person".

Maybe we should just call you "Different"..