Getting GF into diving

[Hoya97]

I'll give you my opinion anyway.

This is one situation where both sides of the debate are valid. You can lead a horse to water - but you can't force your GF to do anything - especially in cold water. I've seen a lot of hubbys dragging their GF/wives to dive classes and the result is always the same; they complete the class and never dive again. Net result is that you end up being upset with her as you forked over a lot of bucks and now she doesn't want to do it. Also, she's upset because you're forcing her to do something that she doesn't want to do.

The other side of the coin is equally valid as well - if you want her to dive, she has to want to learn how to dive. I'll offer the following recommendations - some of which were already outlined above:
1) Get her in contact with a female instructor; DM or other certified diver.
1a) Leave them alone! They have to work it out themselves without you hovering.
2) Suggest a tropical trip.
2a) Go to somewhere like Cancun and get her into the water with snorkle gear and disposable camera.
3) If she's hooked, your home free. If not, resign yourself to not having a live-in dive buddy.

Best I can offer. Best of luck.

 

[Sue-ba]

Lots of good suggestions. Try them.

My first snorkel trip was a disaster. Hy hubby took to the snorkeling like none other. He was a snorkeling machine. My rented snorkel took on water by the 10th breath and more with each breath after. I was afraid of water anyway, slightly claustrophobic, and more afraid of ocean, or seemingly bottomless bodies of water.

He was frustrated. Amazingly, it was my idea to learn to dive. I somehow decided that diving would be more comfortable than just having a tube sticking out of the water. (water gets in)

Anyway, we took the class and now we are both loving it and amazingly enough to me, I love snorkeling also now too. My confidence in the water increased and being on the bottom of the ocean made my fear of not being able to see the bottom disappear.

I don't think it is the end of the world if she never wants to dive. If this relationship lasts, you WILL want to have activities that you can do without each other. You don't have to be joined at the hip. I dont mind when my hubby goes off camping or hunting with the guys. He doesn't mind when I go off and visit my sister or go shopping with the girls.

I would be careful to determine if she is the kind of woman that will be jealous of anything you do without her though. If she is like the man above that is getting tired of his wife because she does not dive and does not like him diving...you guys are just not a match. Neither one of you will be happy in the long run.:boom:

 

[sealkie]

Drop the subject - if she doesn`t want to dive - she doesn`t want to dive.

IF you keep pushing and she does go and take a class she will be one of the people there who is doing if "for her boyfriend" she`ll hate it , she`ll hate you, the instructor will hate you ...


Seriously - just let her decide in her own time if she wants to try it - maybe one vacation the opportunity will present itself and she`ll try it - otherwise leave it alone - look at it as a hobby that allows you your own space

 

[h2omammal]

sealkie once bubbled...
Drop the subject - if she doesn`t want to dive - she doesn`t want to dive.

IF you keep pushing and she does go and take a class she will be one of the people there who is doing if "for her boyfriend" she`ll hate it , she`ll hate you, the instructor will hate you ...

As a husband and an instructor, I think sealkie has excellent advice. I have yet to see it work out when a mate coerces his/her partner into taking a scuba class -- on any level -- especially beginner levels.

From personal experience, my wife and I were married in '87 -- she a beach comber and me a water baby. Finally, after 6 years, in '93 I persuaded her (very, very gently and indirectly) to try snorkeling when we were in Hawaii (using good equipment -- not rental junk). She liked it just fine, but it was several warm water trips later in '98 that she decided to try the "Discover Scuba Diving" resort program, once again in Maui. She liked that just fine too, but it was 2000 before she decided to get certified! Frankly, if I hadn' been an instructor, I don't know if she would have done it at all. Even today, she isn't crazy about SoCal "cold water" diving -- and will only do warm weather boat dives.

Nonetheless, she understands that I'm an aquaholic and doesn't begrudge me the privilege of diving. Heck, she's never even done a night dive and I do at least one per week, every week.

So, as has been said, patience is everything -- except acceptance

Good luck!

 

[DrySuitDave]

If you push her, it can alienate her......I suggest going to a tropical resort and let her see all the other people including women having a great dive time...make sure she is within earshot of their conversations gushing about how interesting it is. Next time you have a romatic moment, maybe after some physical intimacy, just hold her close and cuddle with her, then tell her in a quite retrospective voice that sometimes you worry that your enthusiasm in trying to get her to try new things like diving can turn her off, tell her you are just sorta clumsy about some things but the beauty of underwater life is just so incredible, and the experience of being able to view it so wonderous, you just can't imagine not being able to be with her and share life beauty together.....

I have been diving for 31 years and some things still creep me, like fins touching the bottom before I see it, or jumping into the water when there are some rocks not too far under me, that first instant visual.....it all makes no sense whatsoever, but it never stopped me from seeing the most beautiful, wonderous living things beyond my imagination...

 

[RICHinNC]

ok 007....just for you. Send her to me and after a few months of a dull life
she will be glad to learn diving. Now i dont just do this for anyone ya know....

 

[cbscuba2]

Here's the deal. I'm a diver with the Canadian Navy, and have in the past 3 months gotten into civilian recreational diving. Problem is my GF is fully against even trying any dive class. I think she has a fear of doing anything that seems dangerous. She refuses to listen whenever I talk about diving, skydiving, skiing anything even slightly dangerous. I'm not pushing the danger thing at all, I don't express the macho, I'm-a-hardcore-diving-machine-who-does-dangerous-stuff, attitude at all. I've got about 6 months to warm her up to the idea of a OW class. What can I do to get her to try the sport out ?

Any ideas will be appreciated, I really want to enjoy the sport with her.

Ryan

PS-I'm talking about diving in Canadian East coast waters, not warm water diving trips.

HI RYAN, I WAS WONDERING IF YOUR GF HAS EVER SNORKELED? IF SHE CAN GET USED TO HER HEAD BEING UNDERWATER AND ENJOYING THE BEAUTY OF WHATS UNDERWATER, RELAX AND CONCENTRATE ON WHAT SHE IS DOING INSTEAD OF FEELING THAT IT IS "DANGEROUS" , A WHOLE NEW WORLD WILL OPEN UP TO HER. THEN, GO ON TO SCUBA CLASSES AT HER OWN PACE SO SHE WILL NOT FEEL PRESSURED. GOOD LUCK!!

 

[jepuskar]

I have to say, the post about getting a female dive buddy has to be the best idea...lolol

Ohh honey, by the way, me and Michelle are going away to the Caribbean to go down together for a week...you dont mind do you? haha

 

[livestodive]

I coerced my wife into trying diving. BUT there were a few agreements before she would. If at ANY time she wanted to stop, there were to be no questions asked...period. We live in a cooler part of the country so I took her to the keys. I knew cold water was not her idea of fun.
It has been 3 years and about 100 dives (for her) since then, she has been deeper than I have and enjoys cold as well as warm water diving. She is encouraged to go diving with my dive buddys when I can't go. Oh I also bought her a cheap camera to have fun with. She now has an oly5050 with housing and is enjoying her time chasing that perfect picture.

 

[narcT]

Dunno about your GF, but my wife hates cold water! I took her on the AquaCat a few years ago to do some diving in nice, warm, clear water.

She loved it, I can't keep her out of the water now! After swimming all week with sharks and barracuda she has no fear. She still doesn't like cold water, but has discovered she likes diving more than she doesn't like cold water

Heck, she even booked us a trip to Galapagos this summer without even asking! Now all I have to do is figure out how to pay for it....

You could try a trip somewhere that offers land based activities and try to gradually move her into the warm water? Unless her fear is related to confined spaces, being out of control (claustrophobic?)? If so, getting her underwater is going to be difficult....