Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[timegan]

overheard in a dive shop,
while looking at the array of equipment and accessories a girl spots the tank bangers and asks her boyfriend "why do they sell ball gags in a dive shop"

You missed the opp. to explain to her "our secret" {just how kinky divers really can be} Ahhhh the things we can do down there...where no one can see us.

 

[Jayde323]

overheard in a dive shop,
while looking at the array of equipment and accessories a girl spots the tank bangers and asks her boyfriend "why do they sell ball gags in a dive shop"

 

[Zerovis]

You missed the opp. to explain to her "our secret" {just how kinky divers really can be} Ahhhh the things we can do down there...where no one can see us.

thats assumption on your part lol

 

[ParasiteArtist]

and the problem with laid backed aussies is???

hubby has a tshirt somewhere with the quote "remember when scuba diving was dangerous and having sex was fun??" or something like that

I have this shirt, which is from Dive Asia in Phuket, Thailand!

 

[=C=]

overheard in a dive shop,
while looking at the array of equipment and accessories a girl spots the tank bangers and asks her boyfriend "why do they sell ball gags in a dive shop"

She's a keeper... Did ya get her number?

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Best quotes from a recent video ...

"I'm virtually a tech diver. I've put my Galileo in deco".

"My girlfriend bought me those split fins. I have no choice but to wear them."

"I have over 72 dives. More than some divemasters!"

"If it's on the surface, then technically it's not a Warhammer."

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Zerovis]

She's a keeper... Did ya get her number?

lol what do you think

 

[idocsteve]

I have yet to go on a dive where "there was nothing down there"--there is ALWAYS something to see.

Not so sure I'd agree with that one.

I took my rig up to Cooperstown NY, since I was staying at Jellystone Campground, and there's a central lake at the site. I figured, "heck, it's water, why not dive it?".

So after setting up camp, I gear up and hop in. The visibility was about 6 inches, and the lake was apparently man made, with a flat depth of about 6 feet all the way across. I couldn't even see my gauges when they were right up in front of my face unless I got a brief opening in the muck swirling in front of my face. So I finally make it across the lake and come out on the other side, right next to a father and son fishing. They say "wow a scuba diver! You see anything down there?". I was like "nah, it's not very clear down there".

I am thinking, well at least I got a chance to impress a couple of folks, if nothing else. So I hop back in the water, and start swimming back, but again I cant see my compass. I swim a few minutes and figure I better stick my head up and see where I am. So I do...and guess what I see? Yeah, the father and son...I swam in a complete circle...lol.

I mumbled "I meant to do that!" and quickly turned and jumped back in again.

 

[sharkbait69]

on a recent trip to bonaire a friend of my wife and mine, were talking about dive knifes, and she asked if we knew what a dive knife was used for. we replied no, what? she said if you see a big shark coming at you you stab your dive buddy and swim like hell. Ha Ha Ha

 

[cappyjon431]

Not so sure I'd agree with that one.

I took my rig up to Cooperstown NY, since I was staying at Jellystone Campground, and there's a central lake at the site. I figured, "heck, it's water, why not dive it?".

So after setting up camp, I gear up and hop in. The visibility was about 6 inches, and the lake was apparently man made, with a flat depth of about 6 feet all the way across. I couldn't even see my gauges when they were right up in front of my face unless I got a brief opening in the muck swirling in front of my face. So I finally make it across the lake and come out on the other side, right next to a father and son fishing. They say "wow a scuba diver! You see anything down there?". I was like "nah, it's not very clear down there".

I am thinking, well at least I got a chance to impress a couple of folks, if nothing else. So I hop back in the water, and start swimming back, but again I cant see my compass. I swim a few minutes and figure I better stick my head up and see where I am. So I do...and guess what I see? Yeah, the father and son...I swam in a complete circle...lol.

I mumbled "I meant to do that!" and quickly turned and jumped back in again.

I understand where you are coming from. I did a lot of my early diving in a man-made lake about 90 miles NW of NYC in a lake very similar to the one you describe (and had many episodes of circular swimming!). That being said, I usually found some old fishing gear, lost anchors, sunglasses, etc. and occasionally saw some huge carp and some big snapping turtles.

One of my favorite dives is the Cooper River in South Carolina. Zero visibility (and I am not exaggerating here), but a great place to find meg teeth. Basically divers just "feel" along the bottom.

I guess I just find it funny when divers dive a beautiful coral reef with tons of critters and still come up saying "there's nothing down there."