This will remind you that there will always be someone dumber and/or deeper in denial than you might be. Comforting thought, unless you are one of these people.
Documented Screw-Ups:
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
******************************
finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
*******************************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
******************************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
Damn, I like that one...
*******************************
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from an
accident. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he
was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving
train before he was hit.
*******************************
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen.
It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is
pregnant."
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her
daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having
sex with a boy.
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window!
Aren't you paying attention to me?"
"Yes, of course I am paying attention Ma'am. It's just that the last
time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men
came. And I was hoping that they would show up again."
Documented Screw-Ups:
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
******************************
finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
*******************************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
******************************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
Damn, I like that one...
*******************************
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from an
accident. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he
was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving
train before he was hit.
*******************************
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen.
It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is
pregnant."
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her
daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having
sex with a boy.
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window!
Aren't you paying attention to me?"
"Yes, of course I am paying attention Ma'am. It's just that the last
time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men
came. And I was hoping that they would show up again."
