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I like many jokes that apply to various categories that I fall into, am not embarassed or angry at them. I used to be extremely thick headed and thin skinned, had to work a lot to try to flip things around (at least a fair amount of the time -- not perfect by any means). Comfortability in one's own skin, who we are and what we are, is not easy to achieve, but a worthwhile effort. When I finalized realized that the world did not revolve around me, that I wasn't owed anything, that I was not going to be a victim, in need of protection, but rather an active participant in life, I turned into a fundamentally optimistic person.
"Right" gives me the heebie jeebies. Sometimes we kill each other with kindness. The concept of "I know better, do what I think is right and the world will be a nicer place" can really mess people up.
It's probably because I'm a couple of years older than you, my parents were children of the Great Depression. Hard work, self empowerment, were the principles I was taught, no such thing as entitlement, and I learned that if I didn't like something I would actively work to change it or learn to accept it, not think the world should change to suit me.
I really don't mean this to be negative, but there is a philosphical gulf that does exist between some people, it's odd but real, a difference in world view.
"Right" gives me the heebie jeebies. Sometimes we kill each other with kindness. The concept of "I know better, do what I think is right and the world will be a nicer place" can really mess people up.
It's probably because I'm a couple of years older than you, my parents were children of the Great Depression. Hard work, self empowerment, were the principles I was taught, no such thing as entitlement, and I learned that if I didn't like something I would actively work to change it or learn to accept it, not think the world should change to suit me.
I really don't mean this to be negative, but there is a philosphical gulf that does exist between some people, it's odd but real, a difference in world view.
cdiver2:
Ahh, sorry -- I would assume that personally directed insults would be handled via normal TOS, as I believe the staff already do quite admirably. That doesn't require balkanization of the forums, creation of many different self-opt-in pools, but rather simple civility.
(I'll self-opt-out on this thread going forward. My apologies to the original poster -- I wasn't intending to derail this any further than it already has gone, but did believe that a few of the posts merited at least a slight response.)
So this simple civility you speak of??????markfm:
That's all it requires?
To the originator of this thread. I can understand how you feel... at least partially. I was skinny once. I busted my butt to have a body that would turn heads. Then I got married, quit smoking, had a kid, and got divorced. I am a stress eater. Guess what? I ain't exactly skinny. And every recent picture I have seen of me, I just know the camera is lying about how fat I am.
But you know what? In the process from skinny to fat, I learned some important lessons. To sum it up, I wasn't any happier skinny (and actually was some of my darkest moments in my life). How I feel about myself is an inside job. How people preceive me is non of my business. When I was skinny I was told I was too skinny. Now I am fat, and guess what? Who's problem is it? Yours? Soceitys? The person next to me? No. It's my problem. I have to live with myself. I am the only one who can choose to change the situation.
What does this have to do with this thread, and more importantly diving? Most folks who dive are fat. Its something that most of us deal with on a daily basis, finding gear that fits, how to get into that wetsuit without showing all the flab, carrying gear.
The best place I have seen helpful and considerate posts in response to large women is in the Womens Forum. Many many threads have been started there on just this subject.
So take heart. You are not alone. I know of one instructor who's student needed to order a 5x wetsuit. Guess what? The person is a woman. You have some real challenges ahead of you, yet you can do it! Just try.
But you know what? In the process from skinny to fat, I learned some important lessons. To sum it up, I wasn't any happier skinny (and actually was some of my darkest moments in my life). How I feel about myself is an inside job. How people preceive me is non of my business. When I was skinny I was told I was too skinny. Now I am fat, and guess what? Who's problem is it? Yours? Soceitys? The person next to me? No. It's my problem. I have to live with myself. I am the only one who can choose to change the situation.
What does this have to do with this thread, and more importantly diving? Most folks who dive are fat. Its something that most of us deal with on a daily basis, finding gear that fits, how to get into that wetsuit without showing all the flab, carrying gear.
The best place I have seen helpful and considerate posts in response to large women is in the Womens Forum. Many many threads have been started there on just this subject.
So take heart. You are not alone. I know of one instructor who's student needed to order a 5x wetsuit. Guess what? The person is a woman. You have some real challenges ahead of you, yet you can do it! Just try.
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On ScubaBoard, you cannot ... but let's get this back on topic.cdiver2:
Nothing in the thread being discussed in any way "insulted" fat people ... not in my way of reading it anyway. People were complaining about having to share their airplane seat with their neighbor ... who filled up more than the seat they had purchased. As I remarked in the thread ... this is, in part, due to the airlines decision to reduce the seat size from 18 inches to 14 inches ... basically a seat that will be uncomfortable for ANYONE bigger than about 110 lbs.
And that would include most of us.
So how does that insult anyone? For that matter, how does one in any way construe anything said in that conversation as a "joke"?
I don't think anyone was trying to insult anyone ... if I did, I'd have done something about it.
... Bob (Grateful Diver)
ok ok you know soemthing Iam pretty big myself and until recently I didnt care and still truely dont care what others think. I have taken it upon myself to to correct the problem and it has been a tuff task so far but I am doing it. I work 12 hour days and have kids a dog and a thousand other excuses but I make time. Now as far as a forum for larger people I dont think it is really needed, I actually believe that there should be a skinny forum according to all the statistics beening given to us by the TV obesity is a norm (HAHA). I have not really seen any true negative comments about being over weight here, and those that get offended easily need to think and understand that being over weight does present some challenges to yourself and those around you. I also rarely see slim divers around my area, most die hard divers here are all a bit over weight yet they dont let that stop them. As far as those that feel that others will make fun of them just remember this is the internet no one knows who you are unless you let them know.
Now for those that want to flame me I was 360 in April and I am now down to 265 and still working on it. I am not saying that those that are over weight need to do anything or should but I wanted to let you know I do not mean to be negative to anyone with my comments.
Now for those that want to flame me I was 360 in April and I am now down to 265 and still working on it. I am not saying that those that are over weight need to do anything or should but I wanted to let you know I do not mean to be negative to anyone with my comments.
gratefuljames
Contributor
For me, if I am going to dish it out (and I do, evenly, everywhere, even upon myself at times) I better be able to take it (and I do, without complaint). As we all know, there's a big difference between good natured ribbing and outright hostility. The problem (IMHO) is that on the internet, in emails or posting boards, you really can't tell the difference (and I think people quickly assume someone is being hostile). Of course some outright hostile statement/attitude is clear, but most of the time it's a misperception that causes the problem. On the flip side of this is the fact that although your perception may not be my reality, it certainly is yours. I always find that a well-placed amends usually fixes something I may have started inadvertently or purposefully. I see a scuba board like a big dive boat, and if you know how things work on dive boats, you're not likely to get offended by anything anyone says. I personally try to see the funny side of whatever is being proffered before I take offense or cop a resentment, but I'm certainly going to come back at someone flying the jolly roger in a conversation, verbal or written...anyway, that's my $1.09...Peace and Happy Holidays!!!!!
Bratface
Contributor
CAPT HOOK:
Hey Capt Hook, are you for real? Only one hand? I saw a diver in Florida last year who only had one arm above the elbow. It was interesting watching him get his gear on. No problems for him. Now I had a one-legged husband once. We got hit by a drunk on our Harley coming home one night. Worst night in my life, but things get better and life goes on. I do agree with new-diver toronto. People are rude and they stare, but that's their problem. Living well is the best revenge.
Fish_Whisperer
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GenXWeb: Congratulations! That's quite a significant amount of progress. Way to go!
RonFrank
Contributor
I've certainly not seen a LOT of hostility towards large individuals on the board. There are those that believe fitness is a key element to diving (DIR mostly), however they are generally not offensive in discussions.
As for a forum for large individuals, why not one for tall, skinny, tan, pale, brown haired, green eyes, blonds, short individuals... The list can go on forever, and there IMO is no reason to have such forums as they really don't have much to do with specialized needs other than equipment fit issues, which can, and have been addressed in any number of equipment related forums.
As for a forum for large individuals, why not one for tall, skinny, tan, pale, brown haired, green eyes, blonds, short individuals... The list can go on forever, and there IMO is no reason to have such forums as they really don't have much to do with specialized needs other than equipment fit issues, which can, and have been addressed in any number of equipment related forums.
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