feelings

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

My last g/f dumped me, and I was pretty hurt by it. Then she went and tried to be my friend, only to complain that I was distant from her and didn't want to hang out and take her to dinner or go out with her. Now she is hamming up to me for her birthday. One word for her.

So as you can see, it goes both ways, men can be donkeys and women can be witches.

Paul
 
newbie@scuby:
So many men so little asprin.

If they can send one man to the moon, why can't they send them all!

Men are always complaining that we(women) suffocate them........personally I think if you can still hear him whining thru the pillow....your just not pressing hard enough.

Grow your own DOPE....plant a man.

and my favorite..........I missed my husband yesterday..........but my aim is getting better.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew......I feel better now
Click to expand...

Oops, meant to say, these are laugh-out-loud good!!

Seriously, though, my personal experience certainly mirrors those of many who responded. It *is* hard to be open after you've been burned badly. After all, the scar is still there. I have a fairly deep scar on my leg from an ugly volleyball accident in high school, and it was at least 10 years before it wasn't sensitive to touch! How much more so with scars of the heart?

Frankly, I simply gave up trying to find a mate. I refused to play by the moronic rules of the dating game (i.e. don't call him, play hard to get, numerous other juvenile tricks). It sucked too much soul out of me!
 
scubagirl15:
Frankly, I simply gave up trying to find a mate. I refused to play by the moronic rules of the dating game (i.e. don't call him, play hard to get, numerous other juvenile tricks). It sucked too much soul out of me!
Click to expand...
Me too. It's true what they say about it happening when you least expect it.
Be happy with yourself, and whatever follows is allll good.

I am getting married in a little more than a week. :)
 
Congratulations, SueMermaid!
 
Wendy,

I am sorry to hear that you have been hurt (again).

As for trying to change, please don't. As they say "a leopard can't change his spots". Neither should they try. Remember that when all is said and done, you have to look yourself in the mirror every day, so you need to act the way that you feel right about acting, not how you think will get you what you want.

(slight subject shift)
Often over the years I have seen women get treated like crap by men, and I never can understand it. Many women claim to ant a "nice guy" but I can't count the number of times I have seen a woman keep going back to a jerk that treats them like crap. Why? Lots of reasons I have gleened from years of observation and from serious talks with various female friends.

Suffice to say that there have been many times where I have thought of changing my behaviors to be more like the "bad boys" that seem to do so well. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it is not in my nature, so I remain the "nice guy" that I am.

Do I get taken advantage of? To some extent, the answer is yes. At group events I do triple (at least) my share of the work so that things run smoothly. That allows some others to slack. Still most people have a good time, and I can hold my head up when I see the man in the mirror. I can look him in the eye.

So now, for all you ladies out there that are tired of getting treated like crap, rebel! Don't take it. Look around for some of those nice guys that are out there. They may not be as flashy as the bad boys, but in the long run you will be happier.

Sorry for turning this into a rant, but it pains me to see such a nice lady getting hurt (again) when I know that there are nice guys out there that would treat her (you) right, and worship you for who you are.

Please don't let those few bad apples spoil everything for the rest, and please don't let it harden you to the point where you can't trust anyone and you can't enjoy life.

Please accept this sincere cyber-hug with the reassuring words that it will get better.


Wristshot
 
Wendy, I'm sorry for your pain.

That said, sometimes we can't see the good in a situation until after the fact. If a month down the road you meet an attractive diver who charms the socks off you and turns out to fit well into your life, you might find yourself quite glad things didn't work out with this guy.

Try to keep your chin up, and an eye out for good things to come.
 
There isn't a single human being in this world that has not been wronged, in some way, by someone they either care for, or love. Unless you live in a deserted island where the only inhabitant is you, no one is exempt from this. What's most important, IMHO, is to remember that it's best not to put passion before principle, and that if we don't know how to love ourselves, how can we love anyone else? I don't mean to suggest loving yourself is being self-centered, but that if your nature is to be nice to those you come in contact with, it's better to know who will appreciate it and who won't. Be nice to those who will appreciate it, not as nice to those who won't. Therein lies you loving yourself; getting as much out of the relationship as you put in. Otherwise, the relationship is not mutually profitable, and not profitable in the $$ sense.
 
Wendy:
Why is it that the people that are nice and will do anything for people are the ones that get stepped on and hurt time and time again? Sometimes I think being selfish and cold is the better way to go, at least I won't be hurt in the end.
Click to expand...

Wendy, from what I have seen of you on SB you are a very sweet person, and if I weren't across the country, I would be pleased to count you as a dive buddy. I'm sure Lima Bean seconds the motion.

I am still working on getting rid of the selfish, cold and suspicious person I became from a series of steppings-on from the time I was 17-22. Now my husband (who I wouldn't have met if I was still in any of those relationships) is having to deal with it along with me.

Stay sweet, but remember that when it comes down to it, your happiness (within reason, and not at someone else's expense) is #1!

*hug*

Christine

P.S. sorry if this sounds preachy, I've tried to make it sound better but can't...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
https://www.shearwater.com/products/peregrine/

Back
Top Bottom