Dork Divers Certification Classes – Suggest Course Outlines

[ClayJar]

Okay, just so I don't start feeling left out with all the alcoholic courses...

Dork Divers Sobriety Specialty: In this course, underage and otherwise non-alcohol-consuming Dork Divers will learn means of having fun while others are inebriated. Unlike non-fun-based morality approaches to sobriety, this course ignores the "perils of drink" and instead concentrates on enjoyable aspects of sobriety, such as the additional dives available while others are drunk, the entertainment drunk people can provide, and the wonderful world of not being hungover. (Dork Divers with this specialty certification are qualified to lead drives.)

 

[Teamcasa]

See http://www.dorkdiver.com/specialty_courses.htm

Dave

 

[merxlin]

.........There should be a liveabord somewhere that will cater to Dork Divers...
Peace

There is, it's the Andrea Dorkia.......

Sorry, had to.

 

[trucker girl]

Dorks Underwater: Neat Gear, Happy and Eager to Add Pleasure Specialty.
DUNG HEAPS

This is the Intro to Dork Diving. DD learn to enjoy both their own necessary gear and their impulse-purchase gear, such as the orange shovel. DD learn to spot other DD based on neat gear configurations. Accessorising is a bonus skill learned in this class. Having a good time, as always, is the goal. Learn to have fun in the face of the fun-killing NDD.

 

[trucker girl]

DDLRS
Dork Diver Leisure Reading Specialty

DD subscribe to and study dive magazines. Course materials include Dive Zero, Sport Diver, Scuba Diving, and of course Dive Training. Extra credit given for Alert Diver (DAN membership required) and proof of reading while seated on the throne.

A dork diver is always learning...

 

[erparamedic]

DDLRS
Dork Diver Leisure Reading Specialty

Extra credit given for Alert Diver (DAN membership required) and proof of reading while seated on the throne.

And DUNG HEAPS

 

[merxlin]

DDLRS
Dork Diver Leisure Reading Specialty

DD subscribe to and study dive magazines. Course materials include Dive Zero, Sport Diver, Scuba Diving, and of course Dive Training. Extra credit given for Alert Diver (DAN membership required) and proof of reading while seated on the throne.

A dork diver is always learning...

Will it be explained how to keep your legs from going to sleep if you read on the throne for too long?

 

[trucker girl]

Will it be explained how to keep your legs from going to sleep if you read on the throne for too long?

The perils of throne sitting will be included in the course materials. However, the perils of throne sitting when someone else finds out that your legs have fallen asleep inherently create a "fair game" scenerio for that candid shot. This works out to your favor because you'll receive extra credit if the candid shot is posted publicly.

There are benefits to throne sitting, as well. Including but not limited to:

1. A sense of ownership. While you're there, no one else can use the bathroom.
2. A sense of accomplishment (no explanation needed).
3. A sense of smell.
4. A sense of peace and comfort- after all, where else but the throne are you truly accepted for who you are?

 

[trucker girl]

DTOXS
Dork Travel- Orienting and Xpectations Specialty

Dorks learn the intricacies of various methods of travel both to and from the dive site. The course is broken down into two equally important categories. Land travel and Air travel. In the Land Travel category, DD learn that it's okay to drive to the dive site because many inland dive sites aren't accessible by air. They also learn (in conjuction with the Dork Diver Sobriety Specialty course) that at least one DD must be sober for the drive home. In the Air Travel category, DD explore the possibility that becoming a nudist might just be the solution to all those frustrating security delays.

 

[trucker girl]

DEWS
Dorks Enjoy Wildlife Specialty

DD learn that looking at the pretty fish for the sake of looking at the pretty fish is fun. DD learn that it's not necessary to inform all the other divers on the boat that you can identify 32 out of 33 species of whatever you saw down there. DD also know that identifying fish can be pretty darn cool if done in a helpful and fun manner. DD are required to learn what a nudibrach is and how to identify it because, after all, who doesn't like saying "nudi"?