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skywalk234
Registered
No we still call beer pong Beiruit. We use them interchangeably.
Does this remind anyone else of people they knew or know in college?
- Thread starter skywalk234
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Natasha
Contributor
Whew! I just found this thread.
I'm the mother of a college Junior (Marquette University in Milwaukee) and a high school Junior.
I know the thread starter is telling the truth. Jordan doesn't lie to me, and tells me he is out drinking all the time with a fake ID. He is a great student and doing a Civil Engineering Internship right now. He'll be 21 in March. I can't wait. I hate the fake ID more then any of it.
I don't know how he does it all.
But, I guess somehow it all works out.
I'm the mother of a college Junior (Marquette University in Milwaukee) and a high school Junior.
I know the thread starter is telling the truth. Jordan doesn't lie to me, and tells me he is out drinking all the time with a fake ID. He is a great student and doing a Civil Engineering Internship right now. He'll be 21 in March. I can't wait. I hate the fake ID more then any of it.
I don't know how he does it all.
But, I guess somehow it all works out.
baltimoron
Contributor
hahahah one of my friends used the school's woodshop to make a 'Ruit table that fits into the back of his truck. and he decoupaged all these maxim and playboy pictures on it- he's really talented... it is soo sweet, beacuse not everybody has a ping pong table in their house.
once i was driving SAIF and there was this guy, and i dont know he was from some wierd school out in the suburbs and i had to take him home, but i had no idea where he lived, beacuse he was sooo drunk!!! he kept saying he was "God" and that his home was "up with Jesus and his skanky-*** ** of a mom." i was just about fed up with this guy when he started to take off his seat belt. so i took him out, put him on an MTA bus, and by then this guy was asleep..... so I dunno what happened to him, but i bet his parents werent happy.
moral to the story is- teenagers don't like beer. they like to get drunk. get those little achohol strips, and if they refuse to take them, make it count like they were drunk. make sure you get enough spit on them too. take this from a teenager that has seen MANY drunk people. and MANY completely oblivious parents. Its stupid to say to them, "Okay, son/daughter, if you ever see alcohol or drugs at a party, i want you to come home IMMEADIATELY! friends that drink are not good friends at all." do you really think that is going to work? HELL NO!? and anyway, a good friend can be a good friend regardless of whether he drinks or not. if i were a parent, i would say, "I know you are going to be at parties when there is beer and weed and stuff, i dont care if you have a sip of beer just to make sure your friends still like you and all, but DON'T get drunk, DON'T get stoned, DON'T EVER have sex, DON'T get arrested. if the cops come, run like hell, beacuse there will be NO sympathy if you get caught and arrested."
then I would give them a condom, whether it is a girl or boy, and buy thoses test strips or a breathalizer (you can get them at the sharper Image....). i think a lot of parents are REALLY oblivious, and its a shame....
just my input.
once i was driving SAIF and there was this guy, and i dont know he was from some wierd school out in the suburbs and i had to take him home, but i had no idea where he lived, beacuse he was sooo drunk!!! he kept saying he was "God" and that his home was "up with Jesus and his skanky-*** ** of a mom." i was just about fed up with this guy when he started to take off his seat belt. so i took him out, put him on an MTA bus, and by then this guy was asleep..... so I dunno what happened to him, but i bet his parents werent happy.
moral to the story is- teenagers don't like beer. they like to get drunk. get those little achohol strips, and if they refuse to take them, make it count like they were drunk. make sure you get enough spit on them too. take this from a teenager that has seen MANY drunk people. and MANY completely oblivious parents. Its stupid to say to them, "Okay, son/daughter, if you ever see alcohol or drugs at a party, i want you to come home IMMEADIATELY! friends that drink are not good friends at all." do you really think that is going to work? HELL NO!? and anyway, a good friend can be a good friend regardless of whether he drinks or not. if i were a parent, i would say, "I know you are going to be at parties when there is beer and weed and stuff, i dont care if you have a sip of beer just to make sure your friends still like you and all, but DON'T get drunk, DON'T get stoned, DON'T EVER have sex, DON'T get arrested. if the cops come, run like hell, beacuse there will be NO sympathy if you get caught and arrested."
then I would give them a condom, whether it is a girl or boy, and buy thoses test strips or a breathalizer (you can get them at the sharper Image....). i think a lot of parents are REALLY oblivious, and its a shame....
just my input.
hmmmmmm, rice crispies and beer for breakfast.
Snap Carckle and Burp
Snap Carckle and Burp
cancun mark:
ok thats bad im sitting here watching the news reading this and having breakfast (you guessed it, rice crispies).
well being at a community college there isnt much of the type of dabochery (sp?) here but i have gone to a few parties that were a little out there(in HS and in College). my parents were cool with everything they just made the comment that i should think before i did something and if i was trashed to call them and they would get me no questions asked, which i havent had to yet. i enjoy a good party but i dont drink alot (2 is my limit) because my meds and alchoal dont mix. i have ended up doing what baltimoron does. well maybe i will have more wild stories when i transfer to a large institution next fall.
FWIW
Tooth
RIDIVER501
Contributor
Guess you had to go to a real college to experience that 24-7.
At Canoe-U....Naval Academy, as underclassmen we only had Saturdays to party-hardy, and when we became seniors we could rock from last formation friday till dinner time sunday evening.
At Canoe-U....Naval Academy, as underclassmen we only had Saturdays to party-hardy, and when we became seniors we could rock from last formation friday till dinner time sunday evening.
FreeFloat
Contributor
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cancun mark:
:rofl: OMG!!! ROTFL!!!!!!!!So glad I'm alone in the office today. Roaring with laughter is kinda hard to explain
Kamala
Guest
I always preferred beerios
Another good one....and I can so remember going to the shower with a beer in hand. Always sucked when you got soapy water in it
----------
The inventor of dormitories . . . let's find him, make him pay for the travesties he's visited on America's youth, and force him to listen to Matchbox 20. Can't you see him designing these hellish stacks ofhumanity many years ago? From the sidewalk he raised his hands triumphantly and said, "It shall be like the projects with less violence and more marijuana!" He then took lumber and Elmer's Paste, as it iswritten, to create these pet carrier sized rooms that we live in. You wanna know why people from projects hardly ever go to college? It'sbecause they don't want to leave their lush surroundings. The actual termdormitory is of course derived from the Latin perm for sleep, which is appropriatebecause that is all you have space to do. You have to do it standing upin the bathroom sink but it can be done The luckier students have spaceto scratch their asses but the windows have to be open and their roommates have to be gone for the weekend. When you go home theclosets even feel like a gymnasium, and you can romp around in the bathroom likea horny antelope. I can't imagine the kids who brought everything they own and like a sectional couch to the dorm. I brought like a condom and a sock. Next semester I hope tohave a towel and the other sock. I also need a new condom.
Forget having space tosleep. Who sleeps anyway? Nobody on my campus. I think it's a rule. This one kid tried but no one knows what happened to him. Let's just say his floor mates never saw him awake again. I feel like I'm a member of the national insomnia coalition. 0ur agenda involves a lot of Frappucino and staring at the test pattern on tv. It's like this strange pseudo-vampire lifestyle. Did you know that if youstay up late enough they play the Tonight Show over again and it still isn'tfunny? No sleep really ****s with your eating habits too. Every night at 2 inthe morning you get as hungry as a Bosnian and you have to go to the vendingmachine to watch the one bagel spin in the carousel of salmonella. People have White Zombie playing until 5 AM, which to me really encompasses my mood at 5 AM. I could be listening to Kenny G and it wouldseem hardcore at 5 in the morning.
It doesn't matter because you still can't getan open clothes drier minutes before sunrise. There's like this one chick whose always tyingup an entire drier with one pair of panties. I let it slide because itgives me an opportunity to watch hypnotically tumbling panties. The worstis when she turns out to be morbidly obese and you have to vomit in yourlaundry basket.
Not that the dryers work anyway. I could fart on mylaundry and get it drier than the converted toaster ovens that the university supplies. Dry jeans?
Forget about it. I had to convert mine to a deep-seawet suit.
So what if you want to leave the dorm? Get ready for a chore. You'll need keys, ID, bag, books, a map, an umbrella, sun glasses, insulin,a snake bite kit, mace, a pack mule, and an Algonquin Indian translator(Miami students you know what that's all about). Then you have to go walking through the building kissing the asses of all the dweebs youlive with and holding the door for anyone in the same county. What's withthe door holding policy? Like opening a door requires a spotter. If you'vegot arms, a coordinated foot, or useful nub, open your own God damn door. No matter where you go you have to use these gerbil-on-a-wheel elevators. I could climb up the side of the building with a corpse tied to my johnsonin less time than it takes for the door to close. Then you have to ****ing march for miles from your dorm which is conveniently placed on****ing opposite side of the campus from any building that is ****ing remotely important. People on rollerblades I accept, people on bikesI have urges to clothesline but tolerate, but people on skateboards have a value just below medically retarded nazis. It must be explained to themthat skateboards were cool when we were 11 and even then they weren't thatcool.
Where are you headed? Probably to get something to eat at the dining hall.
The only dish they haven't ****ed up is Lucky Charms. I think the university supplies them with a blender and unlimited horsemeat mixed with some retired circus animals. The key to making the menu freshand exciting is the food coloring. The charming and buck-toothed lunch ladiesproudly announce, "Yesterday we had chicken nuggets and today we present to youblue chicken chunks that are totally unrelated to the nugget dish we servedyou just yesterday. We are serious, they have nothing to do with each other. I stake my hair net on it. You can have extra blue in yours." And the ladies (who really seem to love living in the exciting scooping career) refuse to serve more than what fits on a toothpick. Youcan't just ask for a large portion, you have to ask for "more than the offensiveline could consume this semester." Then you get a second blue nugget. Remember how excited the potato bar got you the first week? Now thepotato barmakes you homicidal.
(What are bacon flavored bits made of?)
Then youget to come home to your room. Mine is called a suite, which is a pretty cruel manipulation of the English language. I get to spend time with the closetcase that the boarding office apparently found compatible with me.
He's like Chewbacca's considerably less attractive estrangedmidget cousin. A wookie also has better control of the English language. My roommate is another rant all together. Most people get one of two kindsof roommates, the one who sharpens knives while he watches you sleep (mine), and the one who asks you what it's like to go outside (also mine). My suite mates next door live an intensely Rastafarian lifestyle. In an attempt to put Cheech and Chong to shame, their bong is a centerpieceof the room that they clean with wadded textbook pages. They smoke to BobMarley at 3 AM on Wednesday nights which is a little too hardcore but youhave to love their dedication to the sport.
End your dorm day by hopping in the shower. It's as big as a tupperware container. It has 3temperatures, ****ing hot, really ****ing hot, and nuclear. Whenever somebody flushes a toilet on the campus the temperature goes to skinremoval levels and I go blind for a few minutes. I swear it is connected to every toilet. My brother flushed the toilet at home last weekand Icalled him to tell him to be a little more considerate. The bathroom isas clean as any fast food restaurant urinal cake after the average collegestudent cleans the ****ter with a bottle ofVodka it's as clean as any bus station. I've given up on cleaning the bathroom and I'm disinfecting myself. A quick spray down with Lysol Directand my body is fresh and repellent to several bacteria. Bottom line.
Turn up the music and try to get high off the fumes coming from under thebathroom door because they never share. The "best days of your life"
willbe over soon.
----------
The inventor of dormitories . . . let's find him, make him pay for the travesties he's visited on America's youth, and force him to listen to Matchbox 20. Can't you see him designing these hellish stacks ofhumanity many years ago? From the sidewalk he raised his hands triumphantly and said, "It shall be like the projects with less violence and more marijuana!" He then took lumber and Elmer's Paste, as it iswritten, to create these pet carrier sized rooms that we live in. You wanna know why people from projects hardly ever go to college? It'sbecause they don't want to leave their lush surroundings. The actual termdormitory is of course derived from the Latin perm for sleep, which is appropriatebecause that is all you have space to do. You have to do it standing upin the bathroom sink but it can be done The luckier students have spaceto scratch their asses but the windows have to be open and their roommates have to be gone for the weekend. When you go home theclosets even feel like a gymnasium, and you can romp around in the bathroom likea horny antelope. I can't imagine the kids who brought everything they own and like a sectional couch to the dorm. I brought like a condom and a sock. Next semester I hope tohave a towel and the other sock. I also need a new condom.
Forget having space tosleep. Who sleeps anyway? Nobody on my campus. I think it's a rule. This one kid tried but no one knows what happened to him. Let's just say his floor mates never saw him awake again. I feel like I'm a member of the national insomnia coalition. 0ur agenda involves a lot of Frappucino and staring at the test pattern on tv. It's like this strange pseudo-vampire lifestyle. Did you know that if youstay up late enough they play the Tonight Show over again and it still isn'tfunny? No sleep really ****s with your eating habits too. Every night at 2 inthe morning you get as hungry as a Bosnian and you have to go to the vendingmachine to watch the one bagel spin in the carousel of salmonella. People have White Zombie playing until 5 AM, which to me really encompasses my mood at 5 AM. I could be listening to Kenny G and it wouldseem hardcore at 5 in the morning.
It doesn't matter because you still can't getan open clothes drier minutes before sunrise. There's like this one chick whose always tyingup an entire drier with one pair of panties. I let it slide because itgives me an opportunity to watch hypnotically tumbling panties. The worstis when she turns out to be morbidly obese and you have to vomit in yourlaundry basket.
Not that the dryers work anyway. I could fart on mylaundry and get it drier than the converted toaster ovens that the university supplies. Dry jeans?
Forget about it. I had to convert mine to a deep-seawet suit.
So what if you want to leave the dorm? Get ready for a chore. You'll need keys, ID, bag, books, a map, an umbrella, sun glasses, insulin,a snake bite kit, mace, a pack mule, and an Algonquin Indian translator(Miami students you know what that's all about). Then you have to go walking through the building kissing the asses of all the dweebs youlive with and holding the door for anyone in the same county. What's withthe door holding policy? Like opening a door requires a spotter. If you'vegot arms, a coordinated foot, or useful nub, open your own God damn door. No matter where you go you have to use these gerbil-on-a-wheel elevators. I could climb up the side of the building with a corpse tied to my johnsonin less time than it takes for the door to close. Then you have to ****ing march for miles from your dorm which is conveniently placed on****ing opposite side of the campus from any building that is ****ing remotely important. People on rollerblades I accept, people on bikesI have urges to clothesline but tolerate, but people on skateboards have a value just below medically retarded nazis. It must be explained to themthat skateboards were cool when we were 11 and even then they weren't thatcool.
Where are you headed? Probably to get something to eat at the dining hall.
The only dish they haven't ****ed up is Lucky Charms. I think the university supplies them with a blender and unlimited horsemeat mixed with some retired circus animals. The key to making the menu freshand exciting is the food coloring. The charming and buck-toothed lunch ladiesproudly announce, "Yesterday we had chicken nuggets and today we present to youblue chicken chunks that are totally unrelated to the nugget dish we servedyou just yesterday. We are serious, they have nothing to do with each other. I stake my hair net on it. You can have extra blue in yours." And the ladies (who really seem to love living in the exciting scooping career) refuse to serve more than what fits on a toothpick. Youcan't just ask for a large portion, you have to ask for "more than the offensiveline could consume this semester." Then you get a second blue nugget. Remember how excited the potato bar got you the first week? Now thepotato barmakes you homicidal.
(What are bacon flavored bits made of?)
Then youget to come home to your room. Mine is called a suite, which is a pretty cruel manipulation of the English language. I get to spend time with the closetcase that the boarding office apparently found compatible with me.
He's like Chewbacca's considerably less attractive estrangedmidget cousin. A wookie also has better control of the English language. My roommate is another rant all together. Most people get one of two kindsof roommates, the one who sharpens knives while he watches you sleep (mine), and the one who asks you what it's like to go outside (also mine). My suite mates next door live an intensely Rastafarian lifestyle. In an attempt to put Cheech and Chong to shame, their bong is a centerpieceof the room that they clean with wadded textbook pages. They smoke to BobMarley at 3 AM on Wednesday nights which is a little too hardcore but youhave to love their dedication to the sport.
End your dorm day by hopping in the shower. It's as big as a tupperware container. It has 3temperatures, ****ing hot, really ****ing hot, and nuclear. Whenever somebody flushes a toilet on the campus the temperature goes to skinremoval levels and I go blind for a few minutes. I swear it is connected to every toilet. My brother flushed the toilet at home last weekand Icalled him to tell him to be a little more considerate. The bathroom isas clean as any fast food restaurant urinal cake after the average collegestudent cleans the ****ter with a bottle ofVodka it's as clean as any bus station. I've given up on cleaning the bathroom and I'm disinfecting myself. A quick spray down with Lysol Directand my body is fresh and repellent to several bacteria. Bottom line.
Turn up the music and try to get high off the fumes coming from under thebathroom door because they never share. The "best days of your life"
willbe over soon.
wstein
Contributor
Omicron:Another good one....and I can so remember going to the shower with a beer in hand. Always sucked when you got soapy water in it
Oh my!!! I laughed so frigging hard!!!
Paul
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