johndiver999
Contributor
She has probably seen, and almost for sure heard, about all your screw ups underwater and probably a lot above water. Not so, for some unknown DM, who she may find it psychologically beneficial and comforting to blindly ASSUME is extremely competent and flawless.Untrue. She is a natural while I am a cerebral. When we got started in diving, I was struggling with buoyancy control at shallow depth. I am ashamed to say that I destroyed some reef twice hitting some curved walls with my head not realizing I was ascending. She had no such issue. And she was always there for me, rushing and pulling me down. Fortunately, I got better after almost 200 dives in two years. However, I read all literature I can. About diving accidents, the way to prevent them,… I have read all DAN and BSAC incident reports of the last ten years. She did not. Past her AOW, she is just enjoying herself. It is not because I am a control freak that I will blame her.
She really enjoys it, loves sport waters and she would do scuba without me but you have a point. I have dived with other people while she has only dived with me. But she does not always trust me. Once, we faced a very strong current. I told her to follow me deep and close to the reef but she preferred following a dive guide who was behind us, having fun with the current. She followed him and ended up in trouble. Another time, her, me and a guide had to surface because we lost our way. I took a bearing, checked my wife SPG (100 bars) and told her that we should descend shallow instead of swimming at the surface. She refused until the maybe 21 years old guide said it was the good course of action. She later told me that she was not comfortable with me making “ life and death “ decisions. I told her that she should have other buddies but she wants to stick with me. Couple dynamics are probably beyond SB’s scope.
If she does not trust you, when diving, you have a serious challenge. It is essential that a buddy team have trust in each other for it to have good value. If that is not there, it is hard to imagine things going well when a big problem develops and for the run of the mill, normal dive; it must reduce her enjoyment of the outing.
I personally, would much rather dive alone, rather than with a buddy who I have little or no confidence in. Perhaps the two of you can take turns leading dives, but somehow still defer to the more experienced and stronger team member if something critical happens?
It really sounds like an issue that will benefit both parties, when it is finally remedied.