DIVORCE, lAST RESORT?

[DandyDon]

Get yourself to marriage counseling - take her if she'll go. It's worth the time, effort and money to explore those possibilities.

If that doesn't work, at least you tried...

 

[johnnyseko]

Oh, with that added bit of info...........get a lawyer ASAP!!!! Sounds to me like things are far more progressed than I had thought. Continue with the counselor - even if it's just for you and move this thing forward! If she's pulling away that badly, it would seem that she already has something else lined up....sorry that is my own experience talking, which is why I suggested counseling. Good luck, and keep your head on straight.

As for being called 'dad' by her child, IMO - no - but I dont know the exact circumstances. It just seems it might be confusing for a child.

 

[DiveTub]

Get out Quick and Clean, life is too short to be sitting in a shrinks chair !!

Hey my divorce just went through a couple of days ago.

I quit my job last week and I am just getting my house sorted to rent.
I am selling everything not essential to life support, so everything but my Rebreather.
Now I am off to travel for a year the plan to go dive best wrecks in the world.
And who knows who I may run into on some beach in some country I have never been too before :gr1:

Yea! let the good times roll !!!

Cheers
Chris

 

[Jim Lapenta]

Go young man! Been there done that twice(glutton for punishment). If she's taking cash and such good thing you closed the accts. Now get to a lawyer before she tries to hit you up for alimony and spousal support. One thing I don't understand is if she leaves why should a man have to support her lazy butt. And if it's your pad to begin with is her name on the lease? If not stay home change the locks and have your atty notify her when she can get her stuff. Less than a year and she wants out? Forget the counseling. Waste of time and money. Buy yourself some new gear instead. Much better investment. Hey you can't sleep with it but it won't dump you or run around on you. And if your job is good enough to afford it money can't buy love but it can help soften the mattress with a call to the right service once in a while. Do not hang on to what is not there. Tried to do that and it nearly killed me. Am much happier now than I have ever been. Have a good woman who allows me to be me. We don't live together and therefore we do not fight. Shoot, she even got me a tattoo for xmas this year. Got it today in fact. Neither of my exes would have allowed me to do that. They would not have allowed me to dive.The first one left me, the second I left with everything I owned in a small duffel. Walked away from new house, car, two dogs, two cats and her three kids after I was slowly pushed away from my own kids and family. Spent 6 yrs on heavy medication for depression anxiety and other crap while I was with her, that's why I stayed so long, did not know how miserable I was. 5 months away from her and I was off all meds, had another car, job, was back in touch with my kids and family and had and still have money in the bank. My credit went from crap(bankrupt and she let a car get repoed that was in both our names after the court ordered her to pay for it) to a score of over 700 and I now have 3 major credit cards and 2 store cards that are all paid on time and rarely carry a balance more than 3 months. I just bought my 3rd car a few weeks ago. I only have one but it was the third I was able to get a loan for and each time the rate gets better. Don't look back stay focused on the future and good luck. Find someone who appreciates you and will not try to change you. She knew how it was when you got together with your job and such. If there was a problem she should have said so. she did not so it's her loss.

 

[skybird]

oh as for the picture of HER daugther, from her previous relationship, i love the kid but she should be calling me daddy, rather then my name. Do you agree? heck i pay all t he bills!!! and her real dad is long gone.....

i think i will be okay, i have a great job and a good head, not too mention I have YOU!!

thanks for your help

I agree that SB is NOT the place to get life advice.Divorce? Not the best thing in the world but not the worst. MY opinion? should only be done if all else fails. I have a concern, though about your statement about HER daughter. You said I love the kid BUT . But's cancel out what was said before them. She may not see her "real" dad but she DOES have a father. Many step-parents want to deny that. What the child calls you has to come from her. Maybe she can sense the "BUT" too.

I agree, if counseling is possible at all, try it first.

 

[Randy43068]

At 25, you have a lot of time left (or so we hope). Better to spend it with someone that can appreciate you.
This should help cheer you up: CLICK

Damn Bob, that cheered me up! :07:

 

[Randy43068]

screw counseling, get the legal paperwork moving ASAP! Tell her she's the one who has to move, not you. If the money she's taken isn't that significant in the grand scheme of things, chalk it up as a learning experience. If it's a bunch of money, try to get it back with a lawyer or take her car. It's time to look out for number one from now on in this relationship. Do not let her have any more access to your financials. Make sure she can’t open any credit with your name on it. PROTECT YOUR ASSETS NOW!

 

[pennypue]

Ok.
1) She wants your apartment. NO
2) She's charging up your cards. NO
3) She's standing on the bottom in that pic. NO NO NO

Cut bait. Not only is she using you, she's a lousy diver.

Divorce is not an easy thing, I'm doing that now after 19 years.
But don't be a doormat for her. Don't treat her poorly either.
(Btw, I thinks she's nuts. I saw your pic. WOW!!!!)

 

[Randy43068]

Ok.
1) She wants your apartment. NO
2) She's charging up your cards. NO
3) She's standing on the bottom in that pic. NO NO NO

Cut bait. Not only is she using you, she's a lousy diver.

Divorce is not an easy thing, I'm doing that now after 19 years.
But don't be a doormat for her. Don't treat her poorly either.
(Btw, I thinks she's nuts. I saw your pic. WOW!!!!)

do I know you?

 

[diverkristi]

Man, you guys are missing the obvious! She breathing through the octo and has the primary tucked in the BCD.

OK, on a serious note. Like Pue, I am in the thick of a divorce after 19 years of marriage. It's been OVER 3 years now, financially crippling, and involves my two beautiful daughters. I have over 20 k in atty bills. It is all ugly financially, emotionally, in every way .....

Be glad you are able to get out now while it isn't so complicated. Best of luck to you. AND, there's no shame in seeing a therapist for YOU if you need to.