Pete, how are your other children doing?
Death of my Son, I need some help
- Thread starter Superlyte27
- Start date
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OP
Not sure how to measure it. The youngest is pretty introverted. He’s 16. One daughter is a super over achiever who is crippled by stress turns 22 tomorrow. The other is running a multi-million dollar business and is pretty emotional like me. She’s 24. Fine I guess?
How are your relationships with them? (For some reason, I thought that they were younger)
Are you hanging out with your youngest?
OP
Well, he’s sitting here next to me.
This is such a challenging problem. I am at my wits end trying to help a suicidal long distance friend who has lost her husband and both of her children. You just don't know what to say. She told me know that she needs a good friend nearby as nobody speaks to her anymore. So I reached out to people I know to be her friends who are geographically closer to her. To my surprise, they told me that they call and visit regularly. I can only assume that her thinking is wonky. It is so hard for people to figure out how to help without being an intrusive PITA. The last time I spoke with her was for over 3 hours. She told me that, while she was not Catholic, her husband and children were. And that was all that was holding her back from suicide, a mortal sin. She has used the same word as you: broken. I sure wish I could help but this is probably above the pay grade of nearly anyone on a discussion board.
That's good.
OP
It’s actually not. Something someone said here yesterday has actually helped me pretty immensely. I think it might be the first breakthrough in a while, we’ll see if it holds.
My brother has three masters degrees in therapy and half way through a doctorate. It wasn’t his words.
I have a very close friend of over 30 years that runs a psychiatric hospital system in the Carolinas. Top of the world in his circle of influence. It wasn’t his words either.
It was the words of a scuba board person I’ve never met and don’t even know his real name who said yesterday that it wasn’t God out to get me, but rather his enemy that has been after me for decades.
He’s right. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. I’m not sure why he has targeted me over the last 4 and a half decades, but he has. I’m not one that usually loses a battle. And I won’t lose this one. Epic battles spanning decades are my favorite.
For your friend. I’ve never been suicidal. I have been homicidal. But the solution for her is to find hope in something if at all possible. I kept going because I hoped to one day see grandchildren and I hoped that would make this pain hurt less. I kept going because if I destroyed the earth (which I think I could actually pull off) I might not get to see my son in heaven. I hope he’s up there with generations of family who knew him even before they met him.
Help her find something to hope for. Life without hope is pretty bleak.
I am glad you have had a breakthrough. Yes, hope would be good for my friend as she says she has none...nothing to live for. We spent a lot of time with me asking what she is good at, what she loves etc. Nothing anymore, she says.
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