Dear Dork Divers Advice Column – Ask us your questions

[J.R.]

DD needs to develop it's own sophisticated tech-jargon with which to intimidate and impress new recruits.

In interesting perspective... personally though, I prefer applying the Judo concept of 'yield'... if they have nothing to push against... game over... kinda' like air-diving.

Heck... I don't even mind the tech 'jargon' stuff... like snorkels of a different color... it can be useful... or it can be cute... or, sometimes, it can be both at once. All depends on how we each choose to apply it...

... always remember... "One man's accronym is another man's *bad draw* in Scrabble"...

J.R.
DD - #... ummm.... something...

 

[Teamcasa]

dear Dork Divers:

some of the posters in this thread are pissing me off.

what is the DIR way to pee in their regulators without them noticing?

Dear Andy, It is not DORK compliant to use other people’s regulators as a urinal. If you feel the need to go and can not wait for the boats head to clear then I would suggest you use your own wetsuit like everyone else does. Just remember, just like the head, you must flush when finished. (You may want to flush your boots as well!)

Dave
DDHF

 

[grassyknoll]

Dear Andy, It is not DORK compliant to use other people’s regulators as a urinal. If you feel the need to go and can not wait for the boats head to clear then I would suggest you use your own wetsuit like everyone else does. Just remember, just like the head, you must flush when finished. (You may want to flush your boots as well!)

If you can't urinate in their regs, can you compromise, go in your suit and flush it up-current of them?

 

[merxlin]

dear Dork Divers:

some of the posters in this thread are pissing me off.

what is the DIR way to pee in their regulators without them noticing?

As mentioned H2Andy, it is not Dork Compliant to get mad. The payback is having fun when others aren't. That is of course unless you have the special cert of PISSER (Private Interagency Society of Secretly Executed Retribution). Then you can take action, but can't tell anyone. If you do, you'll be put on Double Secret Probation, and have to turn in your special op's combo snorkel/secret decoder/radio/bagel slicer/thigh master.

 

[merxlin]

Dear Dork Divers,

I find that I typically dive with the following gas mix. I know that discussing gas mixtures is not Dork compliant, but I also don't want to die. Here is my mix:

Nitrogen 78.084%
Oxygen 20.946%
Argon 0.934%
Carbon dioxide 0.038%
Water vapor <1%
Other 0.002%

Do you think this is safe?

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Dear Merxlin,

Your mixture looks to be perfect. Carry on with having great fun! (Take your snorkel!)

 

[H2Andy]

Here is my mix:

Nitrogen 78.084%
Oxygen 20.946%
Argon 0.934%
Carbon dioxide 0.038%
Water vapor <1%
Other 0.002%

Do you think this is safe?

NO!!!!!

at least a dozen divers die each year breathing this horrible concoction

for God's sake, don't do it

 

[BHB ScubaTroll]

Dear Dork Diver,
I really dislike my dive buddy. It's not that he does anything wrong when diving... I just can't stand him.

Is there anything I can do to make him different?

P.S. My avatar is for Andy

 

[H2Andy]

P.S. My avatar is for Andy

you hurt Buttercups feelings

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Dear Dork Diver,
I really dislike my dive buddy. It's not that he does anything wrong when diving... I just can't stand him.

Is there anything I can do to make him different?

Certainly! This is why most divers carry a knife! For impromptu, field-expedient brain surgeries, tracheotomies, and veinous cut-downs.

The best way to begin is by saying, This hurts me more than it hurts you...