MattC007
Guest
wow...that must've sucked. lol 
Close call in the dressing room
- Thread starter boulderjohn
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alykitcat
Contributor
Id love to see her try that in a 7 mill full wetsuit lol
OP
BelchFire
Contributor
Well, I actually thought about getting another sign-on so I could post this. BUT, at the risk of ruining my reputation here on SB, here goes:
Just as many of you reported, it was my O/W checkout trip that befell my worst faux pas surpassing even the time that I mistakenly asked a co-worker when she was due; but that's another story.
As a class, we were a tight group and really got along well. Perhaps too well. At least the night before the first dive(s). Since we were traveling, we stayed at the same hotel. We partied kind of rowdy and had a good time at the behest of a local Karaoke place and kept signing each other up to sing "Yellow Submarine". After a boatload of potato skins "with everything", nachos "with everything", and some gator tail (you guessed it -- with everything), we laid into supper. I love pork ribs and they were calling to me from a plate at the next table, so I indulged myself to the tune of a whole rack of baby-back ribs. "With everything" -- including a tossed salad. Woe is me... Now I'm sure you're wondering how this relates to wetsuits and being stuck in a hooded vest, but I assure you, the connection is a strong one (prophetic words right there, I tell ya)
The next morning, I wasn't too worse for the wear, and that first cup of coffee really got me "cranked up" so to speak. I managed to sneak back to my hotel room after breakfast and I'm sure the cleaning ladies are STILL cussing "that guy in room 124." Anyway, I felt much better and I thought perhaps I'd heard the last of those tater skins, nachos and ribletts. Boy was I wrong.
I'm sure you've all met her. :love2: You know what she looks like. "Better than anyone else in the class", cute, friendly, and what-not. Well we all had a fondness for her, so every chance we had, she got all the attention she could stand. And I was no exception. As a young, scuba diving stud, I tried to act as suave as I could as often as I could (which wasn't as often as I'd have liked, but anyhow....). Now putting on a wetsuit has never been a problem for me because I always use a lycra skin, but I "had" to have help putting in on when we got to the dive site. More of that attention stuff, remember? Mark my famous last words.
Being the ham that I am, I wasn't content to just let her help me slip it over my shoulders, I had to struggle and squirm and really make a show of it. And I knocked one loose. One what you ask? Well, remember those tater skins and such? I stood REAL still ------ and she kept yanking and tugging. I had it in a head lock for a good 30 seconds or so, but now all that glorious attention that she was paying me wasn't so glorious. Just when I thought I was going to have to pretend to fall out of the boat, it got away from me with a high pitched EEEEEEEEEK. I was praying she didn't hear it for all the neoprene squeaking noises, but then it hit us both like a freight train! She tried to be a good sport about it and pulled her lycra up over her nose, but it was no use. She finally made a lunge for her towel and held it over her whole face while she was scrambling for the other end of the boat. I didn't know whether to stand there and plead ignorant or fan the air all around me. I was really wondering if some kind of satellite based sensor for weapons of mass destruction was going to pick up on me! Boy did I feel like a tool.
None of you have EVER wanted to be in Bonaire as bad as I did at that moment! Oh, the shame.:anon:
Just as many of you reported, it was my O/W checkout trip that befell my worst faux pas surpassing even the time that I mistakenly asked a co-worker when she was due; but that's another story.
As a class, we were a tight group and really got along well. Perhaps too well. At least the night before the first dive(s). Since we were traveling, we stayed at the same hotel. We partied kind of rowdy and had a good time at the behest of a local Karaoke place and kept signing each other up to sing "Yellow Submarine". After a boatload of potato skins "with everything", nachos "with everything", and some gator tail (you guessed it -- with everything), we laid into supper. I love pork ribs and they were calling to me from a plate at the next table, so I indulged myself to the tune of a whole rack of baby-back ribs. "With everything" -- including a tossed salad. Woe is me... Now I'm sure you're wondering how this relates to wetsuits and being stuck in a hooded vest, but I assure you, the connection is a strong one (prophetic words right there, I tell ya)
The next morning, I wasn't too worse for the wear, and that first cup of coffee really got me "cranked up" so to speak. I managed to sneak back to my hotel room after breakfast and I'm sure the cleaning ladies are STILL cussing "that guy in room 124." Anyway, I felt much better and I thought perhaps I'd heard the last of those tater skins, nachos and ribletts. Boy was I wrong.
I'm sure you've all met her. :love2: You know what she looks like. "Better than anyone else in the class", cute, friendly, and what-not. Well we all had a fondness for her, so every chance we had, she got all the attention she could stand. And I was no exception. As a young, scuba diving stud, I tried to act as suave as I could as often as I could (which wasn't as often as I'd have liked, but anyhow....). Now putting on a wetsuit has never been a problem for me because I always use a lycra skin, but I "had" to have help putting in on when we got to the dive site. More of that attention stuff, remember? Mark my famous last words.
Being the ham that I am, I wasn't content to just let her help me slip it over my shoulders, I had to struggle and squirm and really make a show of it. And I knocked one loose. One what you ask? Well, remember those tater skins and such? I stood REAL still ------ and she kept yanking and tugging. I had it in a head lock for a good 30 seconds or so, but now all that glorious attention that she was paying me wasn't so glorious. Just when I thought I was going to have to pretend to fall out of the boat, it got away from me with a high pitched EEEEEEEEEK. I was praying she didn't hear it for all the neoprene squeaking noises, but then it hit us both like a freight train! She tried to be a good sport about it and pulled her lycra up over her nose, but it was no use. She finally made a lunge for her towel and held it over her whole face while she was scrambling for the other end of the boat. I didn't know whether to stand there and plead ignorant or fan the air all around me. I was really wondering if some kind of satellite based sensor for weapons of mass destruction was going to pick up on me! Boy did I feel like a tool.
None of you have EVER wanted to be in Bonaire as bad as I did at that moment! Oh, the shame.:anon:
Sasquatch
Contributor
You might want to reconsider your SB username...
Too frickin' funny.
Too frickin' funny.
Since I didn't see either of my wetsuit stories here I figured it was about time to add them to the list of embarassing episodes.
Episode 1)
Needing a new 3 mil suit I decided to forgo the traditional back zip suit and get a front zip with attached hood. It arrived and, like so many other unfortunate souls on this thread, I just had to try it on. It was a snap to get on, fit like a charm and was sooo easy to zip up with that zipper in the front. Quite pleased with myself I started to get out of it, not realizing there is a reason most suits are back zip ... shoulders do not contort in the direction needed to get off a stiff garment that zips up the front. I tried closing the hood in a file cabinet and using the leverage to pull myself out, with not an inch of success. I tried grasping the hood behind me with a hand and pulling on it like you would a back zip suit to extricate myself from this prison all to no avail. After nearly 20 minutes of tugging, pulling and creative thinking I was out of ideas. So, in shame, I walked across the parking lot in my new wetsuit to my neighbors house and asked if they might have a moment to spare in helping me out of the predicament I'd gotten myself into... Once they'd stopped laughing they were happy to help me out... then I had to walk home across the parking lot in my swim trunks, carrying a wetsuit ...
Episode 2)
As I wanted to help some of the teens at Church become more active in their diving I went out and bought several inexpensive wetsuits. The boys had no trouble with their suits, but one was for a teenage girl who got cold very easily on every dive. It was a 5 mil hooded suit for her. Come time for the first dive in the new suit, she struggles to get it on and finally has 2 of her girlfriends help out - After nearly a half hour and 3 or 4 bloody knuckles from rubbing against the nylon shell of the suit, they are all 3 complaining about how tight the suit is, but she's in it and ready to go - we meet in the parking lot and head to the beach for our dive - wonderful 90 minute dive and for the first time she stays warm the whole time. The dive over, it is now time to go back to the Church and clean up all the gear. She goes to reverse the process and can't get the suit off. She calls her friends to help and they can't get the suit off her (even rolling the suit off) finally one of them comes outside and tells me I need to help them out. We bring her out to the porch, she grabs on a couple of the beams with her friends helping to hold her on the porch, while I put my full 280 pounds into pulling the thing off her. After several unsuccesful attemps (and the accompanying bruises from falling off the porch) we finally get the suit off of her and decide it really was too small - it got relegated to being a suit for the 10 -12 year olds, even though the sizing chart said it should have worked for a 19 year old.
That's it for tonight ... I won't even start to tell about getting my nose and mouth stuck under a drysuit neck seal and wondering how I would ever be able to breathe again ... Suffice it to say, I now dive a lycra suit or t-shirt until it gets down to the low 70's ...
Aloha, Tim
Episode 1)
Needing a new 3 mil suit I decided to forgo the traditional back zip suit and get a front zip with attached hood. It arrived and, like so many other unfortunate souls on this thread, I just had to try it on. It was a snap to get on, fit like a charm and was sooo easy to zip up with that zipper in the front. Quite pleased with myself I started to get out of it, not realizing there is a reason most suits are back zip ... shoulders do not contort in the direction needed to get off a stiff garment that zips up the front. I tried closing the hood in a file cabinet and using the leverage to pull myself out, with not an inch of success. I tried grasping the hood behind me with a hand and pulling on it like you would a back zip suit to extricate myself from this prison all to no avail. After nearly 20 minutes of tugging, pulling and creative thinking I was out of ideas. So, in shame, I walked across the parking lot in my new wetsuit to my neighbors house and asked if they might have a moment to spare in helping me out of the predicament I'd gotten myself into... Once they'd stopped laughing they were happy to help me out... then I had to walk home across the parking lot in my swim trunks, carrying a wetsuit ...
Episode 2)
As I wanted to help some of the teens at Church become more active in their diving I went out and bought several inexpensive wetsuits. The boys had no trouble with their suits, but one was for a teenage girl who got cold very easily on every dive. It was a 5 mil hooded suit for her. Come time for the first dive in the new suit, she struggles to get it on and finally has 2 of her girlfriends help out - After nearly a half hour and 3 or 4 bloody knuckles from rubbing against the nylon shell of the suit, they are all 3 complaining about how tight the suit is, but she's in it and ready to go - we meet in the parking lot and head to the beach for our dive - wonderful 90 minute dive and for the first time she stays warm the whole time. The dive over, it is now time to go back to the Church and clean up all the gear. She goes to reverse the process and can't get the suit off. She calls her friends to help and they can't get the suit off her (even rolling the suit off) finally one of them comes outside and tells me I need to help them out. We bring her out to the porch, she grabs on a couple of the beams with her friends helping to hold her on the porch, while I put my full 280 pounds into pulling the thing off her. After several unsuccesful attemps (and the accompanying bruises from falling off the porch) we finally get the suit off of her and decide it really was too small - it got relegated to being a suit for the 10 -12 year olds, even though the sizing chart said it should have worked for a 19 year old.
That's it for tonight ... I won't even start to tell about getting my nose and mouth stuck under a drysuit neck seal and wondering how I would ever be able to breathe again ... Suffice it to say, I now dive a lycra suit or t-shirt until it gets down to the low 70's ...
Aloha, Tim
Bottomfeeder Brodie
Contributor
i'm crying so hard I couldnt read the whole thing...this is the funniest sh** i have ever read
This is funny, but on a serious note in a not-so-serious thread, WHY do people insist on stuffing their bodies into wetsuits that are too small. GET A BIGGER SIZE. This also goes for men and women who wear street clothes that are too small for them. Really.... None of us need to see every contour of your body fat.
Lesson -- Just because it's on sale doesn't mean it fits you.
Last edited:
ScubaSteve
Wow.....what a DB
This is good advice but of course that is only if the suit does not fit properly. By design, a wetsuit must fit properly in order to keep you warm. Too tight and your movement (and breathing - never a good thing) is restricted....too loose and you are cold.
However, in 99.9% of cases, people would agree, not too many people look outstanding in neoprene. I think this is why there are no Scuba Diving fashion shows...."And now coming down the runway, in this years fall colours....a beautiful 5/6 combination....OH CRAP....they fainted...maybe they over heated...."
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