moonlight
Contributor
How funny
It is true we get back what we gave to our parents or so I'm told.
It is true we get back what we gave to our parents or so I'm told.
Close call in the dressing room
- Thread starter boulderjohn
- Start date
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BUGBAGGER
Contributor
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Ok, I can't top the kids gettin involved. Those sound like episodes that should be narrated by Alan Funt on Candid Camera
But this one was pretty funny.
I was a fairly new instructor at my local LDS and a call came in from a very familiar voice. The guy on the other end of the line wanted me to know he was not a diver but had sent an assistant to pick up a rental XXL 6mm 2 piece wetsuit to be used in a dunk tank. After all, the outside temp was in the low 50's with a wind chill near 40 for this early spring fund raiser outside Wshington D.C.
So...this guy (I was still trying to figure out why I knew his voice) wanted me to describe over the phone how to get into a farmer john and step in jacket as this rather large fella had contorted himself in several inhuman positions and was not quite getting it.
First I explained just how to get the farmer john ALL way up onto his torso without it resting like a full diaper below his crotch (his discription not mine). I got a bit of a snicker when I related how getting it up your legs is a little like a woman putting on panty hose. Next, I hear the required grunting and groaning without the usual diver profanity. Then I start trying to explain the step in jacket. "Oh, you don't put your arms in first? Well, wait one cause now I'm kind of stuck" I hear with a little panic and sheepish laughter. Suddenly I hear loud, and incontrollable laughter coming from the back office at the LDS. As I walk back on the portable phone, I am about to hang up as I am sure this is a prank call from one of my coworkers when I realize that this whole episode with Willard Scott is being broadcast live on the radio and I'm in it for the duration.
Needless to say the LDS staff and many patrons had a grand old time with this one on me for quite a while.
But this one was pretty funny.I was a fairly new instructor at my local LDS and a call came in from a very familiar voice. The guy on the other end of the line wanted me to know he was not a diver but had sent an assistant to pick up a rental XXL 6mm 2 piece wetsuit to be used in a dunk tank. After all, the outside temp was in the low 50's with a wind chill near 40 for this early spring fund raiser outside Wshington D.C.
So...this guy (I was still trying to figure out why I knew his voice) wanted me to describe over the phone how to get into a farmer john and step in jacket as this rather large fella had contorted himself in several inhuman positions and was not quite getting it.
First I explained just how to get the farmer john ALL way up onto his torso without it resting like a full diaper below his crotch (his discription not mine). I got a bit of a snicker when I related how getting it up your legs is a little like a woman putting on panty hose. Next, I hear the required grunting and groaning without the usual diver profanity. Then I start trying to explain the step in jacket. "Oh, you don't put your arms in first? Well, wait one cause now I'm kind of stuck" I hear with a little panic and sheepish laughter. Suddenly I hear loud, and incontrollable laughter coming from the back office at the LDS. As I walk back on the portable phone, I am about to hang up as I am sure this is a prank call from one of my coworkers when I realize that this whole episode with Willard Scott is being broadcast live on the radio and I'm in it for the duration.
Needless to say the LDS staff and many patrons had a grand old time with this one on me for quite a while.
Oxy
Contributor
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
I shouldn't laff, I gave myself a fat lip just the other day.
but i'm not certified yet so I'm not reporting the accident
I shouldn't laff, I gave myself a fat lip just the other day.
but i'm not certified yet so I'm not reporting the accident
DenverCOdiver
Guest
What a great tread! Just discovered it this morning. Your stories are so vivid and funny. Difficult to get the coffee down when laughing so hard. I'm not telling my story...yet.
Keep up fight!
Leslye
Keep up fight!
Leslye
diver1995
Registered
I had to join scubaboard just to comment on this thread...
well, i just started diving w/my dad. mom is all worried so i brought her into my dive shop so she could try to understand what we were doing. i was talking about wetsuits w/the instructor and he hands me a 3mm quantum stretch akona to try on and tells me where the bathroom is. i went to try it on and i couldn't squeeze into it. not becuz it was too small, becuz i didnt know how. so i called my mom in to help me (and 10 minutes has passed already). so we stood in the bathroom trying to get this thing on. im rolling around on the floor screaming, im all sweaty, and i can't feel my legs. my mom went out to tell the guy it fit me, i just couldn't get it on fully. and he turns to her smiling and says, "goood. oh my gosh. it fits. how wonderful." he's all happy and then he adds,"if she can breathe the wetsuit is too big." somehow i managed to get it on and i came out blah blah blah he tells me it fits and so i went to take it off. another problem. i finally got it on and now of course i couldn't get it on. i called my mom and the whole scene repeated itself: rolling, screaming, sweating, legs are numb, but this time i almost pulled my out. then it got stuck on my feet and i walked out and had them pull it off for me. when i got home i was so exhausted that i fell asleep. in a couple of days im gonna go purchase that wetsuit. then im gonna sign up for the dir wetsuit class 
well, i just started diving w/my dad. mom is all worried so i brought her into my dive shop so she could try to understand what we were doing. i was talking about wetsuits w/the instructor and he hands me a 3mm quantum stretch akona to try on and tells me where the bathroom is. i went to try it on and i couldn't squeeze into it. not becuz it was too small, becuz i didnt know how. so i called my mom in to help me (and 10 minutes has passed already). so we stood in the bathroom trying to get this thing on. im rolling around on the floor screaming
, im all sweaty, and i can't feel my legs. my mom went out to tell the guy it fit me, i just couldn't get it on fully. and he turns to her smiling and says, "goood. oh my gosh. it fits. how wonderful." he's all happy and then he adds,"if she can breathe the wetsuit is too big." somehow i managed to get it on and i came out blah blah blah he tells me it fits and so i went to take it off. another problem. i finally got it on and now of course i couldn't get it on. i called my mom and the whole scene repeated itself: rolling, screaming, sweating, legs are numb, but this time i almost pulled my out. then it got stuck on my feet and i walked out and had them pull it off for me. when i got home i was so exhausted that i fell asleep. in a couple of days im gonna go purchase that wetsuit. then im gonna sign up for the dir wetsuit class
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diver1995
Registered
lol this is the funniest thread ever!
alykitcat
Contributor
while my story seems to pale in comparison to all of these, it was still rather tramatic. I got my certification in hawaii and had done the rest of my dives on a trip to Guam. Just after getting back i decide to go get the gear ill need to dive here in So Cal. I get to the dive shop and let them know what i need. after studying me intently to guage my size the employee hands me two suits that i am pretty sure from looking at them wont fit me. I decide to try them anyway. I struggle with the first suit for 10 minutes before i realize i will never get it past my thighs. Itry with the second suit...of the same size. After struggling for a while with this one I go back out to let the guy know they dont fit...He hands me two more and i struggle with them the way i had before. i go out yet again only to find out that that was the largest female size they carried and we now had to move on to mens. he hands me yet another 2 and i return to the dressingroom for another dose of purgatory. This time however the first one looks like its fitting...only one problem...my skin is wet from sweating in the hot changing room and the previous struggles. It took me 20 minutes of tugging pulling and stretching to put it on at which point i strut out of the dressing room triumphant yet begging for cold water (probably from being in the 90 degree shop wearing a 7mm). by the time i am able to get the suit off both it and my hair were absolutly soaked....Good thing i ended up buying it otherwise id hate to be the next person to try it on.
OP
I started this thread two years ago with the tale of the killer hooded vest. I just happened to notice it in my gear collection. It is a ScubaPro large. It has been (almost) worn once. Anyone interested?
billtodive
Contributor
I could use one, john. PM me and we'll see what we can do. If I take that off last, it's bouyancy should ballance the Farmer Johns floating inside out still stuck to my ankles
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