Just a quick update, our daughter returned from the Keys Sunday evening. We did discuss it with our attorney and she is preparing a letter to the Bio father's attorney, simply stating that this was inappropiate and could be considered child endangerment. It also is going to ask that the grandparents exercise better judgement in the future, since they are the ones responsible for her safety when she gets to visit her dad. It is documented and I doubt we will see a repeat. I appreciate all the imput, it seems I hit a nerve.
My thoughts on raising kids....life is best lived. My degree is in Biology and my daughter has a keen awareness of the biological world, my son, ....he lives in an XBox world. Two different children, same family. I want them both to be exposed to as much as possible so that they can choose their own paths when the time comes. I would not do something to endanger either, and I expect the same from others. That said, I was both angry and worried about my daughters safety. I felt like I had no control over something that could have gone horribly wrong. It worked out this time. Everyone on both sides now know how my wife and I felt about it and we handled it in a way that voiced our concerns, and documented the problem without escalating any hostilities.
I caught myself telling my son stories of my childhood. It is a wonder I still have both eyes, hands and ears (and I still haven't told him any stories about college). I got in trouble for swimming with a nurse shark when I was in 5th grade, I think it was a double dog dare. Needless to say, all children will be exposed to situations that could hurt them, sometimes we are there, sometimes when we are not. When we are not there, that is when we feel the most helpless. Perhaps we tend to be too cautious, but these are my kids too.
Thank you all for your feedback. I saw both sides, and saw how strongly everyone felt. This helped guide me in choosing our course of action. I know, some of you will say not strong enough, others will say too strong. I can only hope it was the right way. Thank you again.