This thread comes as a spin off from a long discussion elsewhere, and I think merits discussion it its own right -
The scenario involved a very experienced and competent diver (an instructor) who showed a tendency to 'wander off' and do their own thing during a dive and not maintain good buddy skills. In real life the scenario had a tragic ending.
Has this happened to you, what did you do, with hindsight what would you do different?
So basically three questions
1/ - "How do I confront an 'experienced' buddy about their behaviour"
2/ - "What can I do if the experienced diver is not open to feedback"
3/ - "How do I, as an experienced diver, remain open to feedback from my buddies"
Phil
One thing that happened over and over again to me:
During night dives the other divers of the group (including a dive instructor and my "buddy") were not in the slightest concerned with me staying behind (because I was taking pictures).
They didn't even notice. They wandered off so far that I could only find them back by covering my torch and looking out for the very faint glow of their lights, and swim into that direction...
Luckily we weren't deep, so my plan B in case of trouble was an emergency ascent, but still, what is even the point of having to deal with buddies when they are no use at all?!?
Another one of these useless buddies once refused to carry a marker light so that I could recognize her.
There were several groups of divers in the water whirling around in a very small area, so I never knew who and where my buddy was, during the whole dive.
Afterwards she told me she knew exactly where I was all the time - no surprise, since I was the only one with a fluorescence torch!
It's a bit like small kids who, when they cover their face with their hands, think that nobody can see them, because they can't see anybody - except it's the exact opposite in this case.
Nota bene: If you can see and identify your buddy (because he sticks out from the crowd like a lighthouse), that doesn't necessarily mean he can see and identify you, stupid!
Unfortunately I could not afford to lose my dives under these circumstances.
I had spent several thousand Euros to get there in order to test some new fluorescence equipment, which I could not test at home, it had to be a tropical destination.
But since we weren't deep and there was no apparent imminent danger (e.g. fishing nets, etc.), I decided to rely on myself and go on with my dives, with an emergency ascent as my exit option.
Later on I found people interested in the same technology I was developing, which allowed me to avoid these "flock diving operators" and their heavily tatooed chain-smoking customers altogether ever since.
Never had these problems again.