Cave/cavern safety question:

[DivingCRNA]

So, now that her visiting friend is gone.... She asked "Why are you reading a book about cave diving?"

I answered "Because I want to learn about cave diving".

Nothing else said yet.

 

[TSandM]

DivingCRNA, I'll share with you here the accumulated wisdom of a year and a half of scuba-related matrimonial discord: None of us is capable of maintaining a high level of outrage about anything over a long period of time. Therefore, if you introduce an idea and deal with the upheaval, then introduce it again and go through the whole thing over, and then again . . . Each time the upheaval is smaller, and eventually, if you are persistent and not excessively obnoxious, your will spouse will sigh and recognize that you are going to do it anyway.

I got my SPG that way

I'm not in ArcticDiver's camp regarding spousal vetoes.

 

[DivingCRNA]

DivingCRNA, I'll share with you here the accumulated wisdom of a year and a half of scuba-related matrimonial discord: None of us is capable of maintaining a high level of outrage about anything over a long period of time. Therefore, if you introduce an idea and deal with the upheaval, then introduce it again and go through the whole thing over, and then again . . . Each time the upheaval is smaller, and eventually, if you are persistent and not excessively obnoxious, your will spouse will sigh and recognize that you are going to do it anyway.

I got my SPG that way

I'm not in ArcticDiver's camp regarding spousal vetoes.

WOW. Maybe I had not read your posts well in the past. I thought that you and Mr. TSandM got along well as far as diving went.

I am kind of using your approach. I mean, how long can one hide a 7 foot reg hose and doubled tanks?:scubadive :chillin6:

 

[Dive-aholic]

WOW. Maybe I had not read your posts well in the past. I thought that you and Mr. TSandM got along well as far as diving went.

I am kind of using your approach. I mean, how long can one hide a 7 foot reg hose and doubled tanks?:scubadive :chillin6:

But if you read the more recent posts you'll see that all that persistence has brought Peter (Mr. TSandM) closer to the dark side....

 

[Meng_Tze]

I got my SPG that way

Dang.... a year of nagging for a spg? Not sure if I would call it persistence or stubborn (from either side). :huh:

<I am joking TSandM>

 

[Meng_Tze]

So, now that her visiting friend is gone.... She asked "Why are you reading a book about cave diving?"

I answered "Because I want to learn about cave diving".

Nothing else said yet.

Ah, but learning about cave diving is not the same as learning to dive caves.

 

[redrover]

I am taking the Cavern class this weekend. How does one safely deal with the subject with one's spouse when said spouse is ademently opposed to cave diving.

BTW-Said spouse is willing to dive the Devil's Throat in Cozumel (parts are more than 130 feet to the surface if you consider making your exit from the cavern) and penetrated the ship in Cozumel and was not bothered by the overhead environment without using cavern or cave procedures.

I live in Mo. It is hard to not be interested in caves and caverns.

Thanks in advance for the advice.

I remember reading about you two…I have to say, I think ya got a real problem. The wife sounds a bit bull headed, and not unlike you by want to do caves against her wishes J.

It’s sounding like once she makes up her mind about something, nothing will change it. Or, logic is pointless, you need subterfuge.

I liked the idea of her taking the class, is there any class room part at all that she could audit with you? Skip the diving; just have her see the theory of how to do safely – that understanding what you are learning - may bring her around on her own? I’d hope the instructor would have a bit of sympathy and grant you some leeway if you explain why.

Possibly ask for her help but first, “I’m just taking a class, it is a learning experience yada, yada. Stand firm; you’re going to do this, just this class, that’s all, a class (for the moment J).
You’re asking for her help; you need her opinion if it is something good for you - not wasting money but gaining everything possible from the opportunity – You need her to help remember all the points, etc.- whatever you think would work – something to do with learning she does well, capitalize on her self pride, you know her best.

I’m just guessing, but hopeful she may become at least supportive interested, as you say she does with cold fresh water. I never thought I’d have any interest in deep wrecks. I still highly doubt I’ll ever dive even one, but learning about it is interesting, maybe she will know more and be able to support you as well as assuage her fears.

Or it could be she dreamt you died in a cave. If that’s the case you’re SOL IMHO. I had a dream like that and took about a year to go away.

I’d like to hear how it goes.
Best wishes.

 

[ArcticDiver]

DivingCRNA, I'll share with you here the accumulated wisdom of a year and a half of scuba-related matrimonial discord: None of us is capable of maintaining a high level of outrage about anything over a long period of time. Therefore, if you introduce an idea and deal with the upheaval, then introduce it again and go through the whole thing over, and then again . . . Each time the upheaval is smaller, and eventually, if you are persistent and not excessively obnoxious, your will spouse will sigh and recognize that you are going to do it anyway.

I got my SPG that way

I'm not in ArcticDiver's camp regarding spousal vetoes.

And, gee I thought we agreed on everything

From what you told me about Peter your "conflict" is on a whole different level than CRNA's. My wife and I spar the same way you and Peter apparently do, especially about things like the SPG you talk about. But not about core issues. For those; if after negotiation there is still a spousal veto you have to make a choice.

When I wanted to skydive she took it to a whole different level. This wasn't a just a piece of gear. This was a core activity that she wasn't happy with. She definitely, with no obfuscation at all, dramatically said "No".

I believe that you negotiate your mutual points. But when your spouse feels that strongly about an activity you have a choice between the activity and the spouse. I've never seen it work any other way in the long run.

In CRNA's case I'm pretty certain this bit about his diving is just a symptom of much deeper and longer standing issues that they need to work out, if they can. I'm reading more of a power struggle than a specific disagreement with other issues thown in.

 

[DIR-Atlanta]

I must be some kind of exception. My wife and I took the Cavern course together, and it was actually mostly her idea. We both eventually became Full Cave certified, but she put me through the follow-on courses first to see what they were like before she took them. We were always very comfortable cave diving together - in fact, she pretty much refused to cave dive with anyone else. I think the fact that we always dove together and she enjoyed caves almost as much as me made it easier for me to pursue the more advanced forms of cave diving that I do now.

We did have a lot of trouble with my parents, though (and most especially my mother). The son of a good friend of theirs died in a cave diving accident in 1968, and unfortunately that's the only real exposure they've ever had to cave diving. I've seen the IUCRR accident report on that particular fatality, and the guy did a bunch of stuff wrong. Still, my mother can't seem to get over the fact that "Frank Jr died IN A CAVE". We basically have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, which seems to be working pretty well.

I think if my wife were not so understanding, then I'd have a lot harder time justifying it.

 

[Dive-aholic]

There are a few of us here like that. My wife cave dives. We went through all the training together. My intention with cavern was to become better at wreck diving. Her intention was to dive the caves. I still like wrecks, but I like caves better.