Sorry you lost a friend DrBill :consolation:
At the risk of participating in a hijack I am going to wade in to this one.
First I will acknowledge I have a bias against saying too much too soon.
When a friend died diving with us we were told not to talk to anyone about it till the police had notified the family. We werent even allowed to use our phones at the scene to let our families know we were ok for some time. Not just her husband had to be notified but also her adult children, sister and family. Can you imagine how horrid it would be to hear via the rumour-mill that someone you loved was dead?
That can and did take days as many families are spread around the world.
The police wanted our statements and separated us so those statements were as much as possible our honest memories and not tainted by discussion. We had second interviews to clarify things and it was clear pretty quickly that even people trying to be honest remembered things somewhat differently and interpreted them somewhat differently.
Once the family was notified we were reluctant to post information for fear of liability. The family seemed to be more comfortable with our actions than the A&I posters. No way were we going to risk directly posting something that might be misinterpreted and used against us in the event there was a law suit. Anyone who followed the Gabe Watson fiasco should be able to figure that one out. The Coroner took over 14 months to hand down their ruling. I certainly didn't feel like we were safely "off the hook" until the ruling was handed down and the Police returned the dive gear we had loaned her for the dive. I will stress the family really was lovely, supportive, we still keep in touch. Every single person who has access to the full story including the family, Coroner, Police and Independent Dive accident investigator has supported our actions before during and after the death.
Even providing information to individuals we trusted to provide it for the A&I thread discussion resulted in some information being misinterpreted and posted in a way that wasn't totally accurate. People had the facts but still choose to go off on their tangents and make accusations and create theories of causes based on their own pet personal theories.
IMHO there are too many people who fancy themselves to be Expert Investigators without the inconvenience of training and qualifications.
All information needs to be compiled and examined before theories are created or the information is likely to be tainted as the focus shifts to fitting information to support the theories instead of the reverse.
There is value in A&I discussion provided people understand the difference between speculation of theories and true accident analysis. Speculation of inaccurate theories can still contribute to safer diving.