Bouyancy takes time to get good at, and even longer to master. My first recomendation is to take the PADI Peak Performance Bouyancy Specialty course. THAT will change your life.
Here's my 2 cents:
1) Most, if not all, divers overweight for the simple reason that they "can't get down". This is normal, because the first 10 feet are always the toughest. Indeed NAUI and PADI both have calculations to estimate dive weight. My experience shows them to be about 6-8 lbs heavier than necessary.
2) If you're overweighted, and you most likely are, you're not going to find nuetrality, ever, period, end of story. You'll pitch, you'll roll...it sucks.
3) As much as being able to control your depth precisely with your lungs goes...don't worry about it right now...that comes with time. Your biggest concern as a new OW is getting trim in the water, conserving air, and stability / nuetrality. These things are a natural affect of being properly weighted.
My suggestion is this: Get wet once, just to be comfy in the water again. Shave 4lbs from your weight belt on the next dive. At the surface, be sure your BC is totally empty and breath all the way out, only breath in shallowly and don't pause before you breath out again. You'll get down fine. Be careful doing all of this, maybe even ask one of the dive masters on the boat to hang with you and help you with your bouyancy. The second dive is always shallower, and is the right time to get squared away with this. If you do it on the first dive day, your trip will be more fun.
I'd also hit the LDS and grab a PADI Specialty Course book and read the Peak Perf. section...keeping in mind that their calculation for weight is kinda heavy.
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As to handling an empty tank with your lungs...it can be done by breathing shallower at the safety stop...or hold onto the line real tight
**if you're using your lungs to control bouyancy, just remember NEVER to hold your breath. You can suck in some air, and sustain that, but don't close off that airway.
DIVE SAFE
-RIC