Buddy monogamy

[TSandM]

I don't know how to pick an answer to the "poll" questions

Over 75% of the time, I dive with one of a group of about seven people. I have one person in that group that I think of as "my buddy", and that's Kirk, with whom I have done so many training dives and taken several classes. But I also dive with people I've never met before -- People who've come up at dive sites and asked if they could join us, people I've talked to on SB. Given the right site and conditions, I'll dive with almost anybody once.

The advantages of having a regular buddy, if that regular buddy is somebody you get along with and like diving with, is that you can get almost telepathic in your communication with one another. Diving becomes like dance -- You're not quite sure how it all happened, but one thing just smoothly led to another. My husband dove with me and Kirk in a recent workshop, and he was telling people at dinner that night, "They were communicating with each other, and I couldn't even tell how they were DOING it!" You DO have to be careful not to become codependent (my buddy is good about that. He always makes me do the things I don't like doing ).

The advantages of diving with a wide variety of people is that you can learn something new from almost anybody, even if it's only how you DON'T want to do something. You also get a keener insight into where you might be a little weak if you dive with people who aren't as experienced as you are. It's really fascinating to find out how much diving with a strong, steady buddy makes life so much easier, and when you have to manufacture that steadiness and stability for yourself, you find it's a lot more tenuous than you thought.

 

[erparamedic]

I have dove with my husband (98% of the time), and my friend Trucker Girl... she's on SB from time to time.... and an excellent buddy!

I have also done about 3 or 4 dives with my mother... which I would dive with anyday... except she's spoiled and will only dive crystal clear warm water of the carribean or fiji, etc. I dive quarries, mostly.

I'd gladly dive with others if the opportunity presents itself. There are great learning opportunities when diving with others.

 

[WesTexDiver]

I have about 5 or 6 close friends, relatives, and instructors that I dive with. I feel that this pool of people is great and works well for me. All of my dive buddies are from different levels of experience, meaning I can't take some on Tech dives, but some dont enjoy shallow dives exploring for creatures and such. Some don't like visability under 50 feet and some don't care. I feel very fortunate to have such a "pool" of buddies. I am alway into expanding my pool of buddies.

 

[Tortuga James]

I got certified around the same time as my wife and daughter 3 years ago. We dove together quite a bit in the beginning, but my comfort level was far ahead of hers from the very beginning, and I started wanting to try new and more challenging things. Then I met some other folks who were diving nuts and started diving a lot with them. Last summer, I finally got her to try a shallow inshore wreck off Morehead City in NC, and because I had so many dives on that site, and was really comfortable with it, I didn't take into account that it was her first limited viz ocean dive. She had only been in the keys and bahamas. What was a simple dive for me, became challenging for her, only because she jumped in and fell right out of her comfort zone. She did not enjoy the experience much and I haven't been able to get her back in the water since.

That was a little off topic, but my point is that if you dive with your spouse, and you "stray", it is hard to tell that your interests and experience levels are growing apart. And she actually got a little jealous that I had other buddies (male, of course) and that made her lose a little interest as well.

I am going to take her back to the Bahamas this spring and see if we can get out diving "spark" back as buddies.

Ken
www.lulu.com/krosemond

 

[NorthernShrinkage]

I guess that would make me a w***e I have a buddy whom I prefer to dive with always know where to find him and if hes not there somethings up . But will dive with anyone once have only ever refused to dive with 1 individual a second time once . Mixing up your buddies can be both negative and positive we all need to learn and improve our skills that being said you need to be confident in your own abilities and be self reliant.

 

[utdivermatt]

Theres definately new things to be learned both ways. I spent 3 months or so diving with the same person every weekend, and we got to know each others diving inside and out. We could tell things that werent right just be looking. We could anticipate what the other was doing, and could read exactly what they thought (some of our signals tended to be unclear to others, causing some trouble when we dove with a third person). It was great diving, and we got better by pushing each other.

That said, theres also a ton I have learned from diving with others. Everyone has a new outlook on diving, and not everyone is as enthusiastic as my buddy was (which can still make for interesting dives). There is also alot of knowledge out there that others know, and things they can point out that your buddy doesnt.

As long as your getting wet though, does it really matter who you dive with?

 

[jeckyll]

I'm all about the buddy polygamy

I've got a group of regular buddies, but will dive with new folks given that the dive is suitable for a 'first time'.

 

[boulderjohn]

My wife is an avid snorkeler, but a history of ear ruptures from colds makes her a non-diver. Living in Colorado as I do, I end up doing most of my diving on trip,s usually with my wife. That means I have buddied with more different and new people than I can estimate.

While most of those experiences have been positive, I have had some real problems, mostly when I show up for a dive and find I have no really suitable buddy available. (For example, I have been on boat dives where there was no one else but an OW class on board.) I have had a few, but very few, instances with buddies whose lack of skills scared me or ruined the dive--like a 60 foot dive with 15 minutes of bottom time because he ran out of air.

Lately, when I know I am going to a place where I am worried about whom I will dive with, I have probed the appropriate area in SB. I have struck out a couple of times where I have boldly gone where no one else was going, but the other occasions have been excellent. I have met highly skilled divers with whom I have had great conversations about diving. I have learned and grown. It was especially helpful when they knew the area and could show me the local ropes.

All in all, I really wish my wife were a diver. But if she were, I think I would still try to find other people to go with from time to time, especially in new locales. We could form a group and get the best of both worlds.

 

[Wilson]

I dive with alot of different people, but there is one buddy I dive with pretty frequently. The change ups help keep us from getting into behavior ruts.

I dive Travis quite a bit, if you guys are heading there and would like company, just pm me.

 

[rawls]

I finally got her to try a shallow inshore wreck off Morehead City in NC, and because I had so many dives on that

Ken...What wreck...Indra I suppose?...What LDS?

Most of my friends are instructors or DMs, so I feel comfortable diving with any of them. Great group of divers who I feel fortunate to be able to dive with...Hey Debby, Lee, David, Neil, Jon, Jaime, Mags, Candy, Dale. Lauren...we gotta go diving...you snuck out on me during the Norwood event, and you promised