While I sympathize with your need to help your wife/gf/buddy, the captain is the law on the sea and you either follow his rules or go elsewhere. He has obviously been doing this a long time and for whatever reasons those are his rules. On occasion where I have not been happy, most times the crew or captain will explain things, no point in arguing. It is their boat and their rules and I can go elsewhere and you should too. Though I suspect most will strongly prefer you stay out from under the ladder, deck, boat etc and for darn good reason. If they cannot see you they cannot help you and a boat coming down on your head will knock the Hades out of you.
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