Arr matey, carve it into my Skin!

[joystershell]

[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]Do yer best an we might let ya sail with us on our next pirate raid, Fail and we feed ya to tha sharks. An ifin we catch ya takin a test and not cheatin then you'll never a pirate be...[/FONT]​

1. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]How many pirates does it take to rape pillage and plunder a light bulb?[/FONT]​
2. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]What is the pirates code - more or less?[/FONT]​
3. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]What is a pirates favorite letter in the alphabet?[/FONT]​
4. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]Where does Capitan Kidd keep his buccaneers?[/FONT]​
5. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]What's a pirate's favorite aspect of computational linguistics?[/FONT]​
6. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]What do you call an angry buccaneer?[/FONT]​
7. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]How is Santa Claus like a pirate? [/FONT]​
8. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]Where do pirates store their gym clothes?[/FONT]​
9. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]What do you get when you cross a pirate swordsman with a zucchini? [/FONT]​
10. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]Where can you find a buccaneer's bathroom?[/FONT]​
11. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]Why did the pirate give his ship a coat of paint?[/FONT]​
12. [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]What is a common injury pirates get from walking the plank in bare feet?[/FONT]​
    
    [*]
    [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]Why couldn't the little pirate get in to the pirate movie? ​
    ​

[/FONT]

 

[Speargirl]

Ahoy, me am pleased with our loot and want t' share with the wenches and men. Wenches pick you out a fine dress and have a jug o' rum, men let down the sails for we have tra'ed far enough away we may ne'er see another ship for days. We shall have oursel'es a party. We shall eat and drink. I am goin' t' go down below t' relish in me loot let me know when the food is ready. Aye, me parrot concurs.

 

[Surelyshirly]

Iron Charity Kidd

Ahoy!A pirate's tisn't easy; it loots a tough scallywag. That's okay wit' ye, though, since ye a tough scallywag.

But....I dont be havin no parrot...me wants one....be starboard aft soons as I steals one froms some scallywag

 

[DennisW]

Arr!! I be Dread Pirate Flint, me mateys. We should take control of this here tub and make them all walk the plank!!!

 

[parrottheaddiver]

Attention on deck you scabberous lot o' scalawags...Mad Jack Flint demands your unswering loyalty and a full ration of rum on pain of death...oh hell...forget the loyalty, just pass the RUM! Arrrr!

(damn...the one day my avatar finally fits!)

 

[Speargirl]

Avast!!!! t's me lon lost frien Mad Jack Flint. Doin be stanin ter give me frien me bes gorg. Ahoy!!! Charity Kidd why yer all gron up. An a buxom beauty you 'r... ner worin my pretty yurin safe wit me. Off with you an in a dress and jewels suitable fer yourin beauty. Avast!!!! Not ne'r man touch a hair on her head or off wit yer's.

 

[Speargirl]

"Avast ye varmint" why shiver me timbers t's Dread Pirate Flint yo ho ho a man wit'n a black spot. Aye, a black spot on yer head, you have ner men to take my ship and me have takin all yer weapons while you sleep of drunkin breath. So me frien you be wit me er me takin your ship er what t's lef'n of it. yo ho ho. Matey!!!! sen' der Flint to da' bilge to play wit de rats. Arrr!!! an for his sprogs feed them some salmagundi an put'um ta' work.

Hoist the colors!!!! Weigh anchor!!!!! Hoist the mizzen!!!!!
No one will take me ship. Ye shall take shift's!!! We must sail 8 days to dead mans rock werin we will hold up and out of eye's way.

 

[joystershell]

• Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below the ground?
  Because booty is only shin deep!
• Did you hear about the pirate with two wooden legs?
  They caught fire and burned his ARRrrrse to the ground!
• What is the name of the pirate tax office?
  The Aye. Arrr. S!
• What do pirates smoke to get high?
  Sea-Weed!!!!!!
• What's a pirates favorite disease?
  Scurrrrrrrrrrrvy!
• What did all the pirates say to the last pirate to come to the party?
  Ahoy Latey!!!!
• Did you hear about the good economy Cap'n Hawk gets out of his warship?
  He gets 35 miles to the galleon! Aaarrrgghhhhhh!
• How do you judge a pirate's intelligence?
  With an Aye-Q test!
• What do you call a happy pirate?
  A jolly roger!
• What does a pirate say when he wants to get drunk with two ladies of the night?
  Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
• What do you get when you cross a pirate with a librarian?
  Cap'n Book!
• What do you call a pirate with no eye?
  A prate!
• What is a pirate's favorite cereal?
  Cap'n Crunch!
• How would you recognise an Irish pirate?
  He has a patch over both eyes!
• What's Captain Hook's favorite store?
  The Secondhand Shop!
• What do you call a pirate with 8 eyes?
  PIIIIIIIIRATE
• What did the pirate ride to work?
  A seahorse!!
• How do pirates get from Ship to Ship?
  By Taxi Crab!
• How do you scare away a pirate?
  You tell him you've got a colony of termites, and you're not afraid to use it!
• How did the pirate feel after drinking rum all night?
  Groggy!
• What kind of laundry detergent do pirates like best?
  Tide!
• Why don't pirates play sports?
  There is no AYE in team!

More pirate jokes than you can a wooden leg at.....
http://www.piratejokes.net/jokes/oneliners?pg=1

 

[D_B]

Ack!!

 

[Jeff Toorish]

some o'us be piratacal ever' day.

Bloody Harry Read