OP
richerso
Contributor
LMAO ! ! ! !
ROFL!
I knew this was gonna be good.
ROFL!
I knew this was gonna be good.
Armchair Diver Specialty
- Thread starter richerso
- Start date
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Wait a minute.... that sounds like the DIR Armchair Speciality Diver.
I think he just wants the basic Armchair diver course...
It can't be DIR. I don't specify what sport team to cheer for, what sport to watch, what hand to hold the remote in, what type of nacho cheese to use, or, more importantly what type of beer, er, 12 oz weights to use.
I think it's closer to the DIMWIT. Just be cautious you don't fall into DIMWIT rule #2 by choosing sub-standard weight! You can use whatever brand you like, it may just be that the rest of us stand back and watch!
mike_s
Contributor
It can't be DIR. I don't specify what sport team to cheer for, what sport to watch, what hand to hold the remote in, what type of nacho cheese to use, or, more importantly what type of beer, er, 12 oz weights to use.
the above reminds me of the "DIR For Life" funny....
here it is for those who haven't read it before. It's pretty damn funny...
DIR For Life
I converted to DIR about 6 months ago and I have found that the philosophy extends way beyond diving. I think most people tend to view DIR as a gear configuration or diving objective type of thing but it really is a philosophy that you can use in other parts of your life. For instance, below are just some of the ways I've extended the DIR way of doing things into other areas of my life.
Last week some of my buddies came over to my house. Now, not all of them are divers but they do understand the DIR philosophy. So, first off, we all drink the same beer. This avoids any situations where you might be enjoying a lager and accidentally pick up an ale (or the other way around). That can be very uncool. That could quickly lead to a panic situation so we avoid it all together.
We also drink only from cans, no bottles. And we never put the beer in the refrigerator. It always goes in the ice chest in my living room. 47% of Drinking Related Incidents (DRI) occur when someone is going to the fridge for another beer so better to be safe than sorry. Of course, this is all rigged up while we're still 100% sober so there's no impaired judgment once things get cooking.
All of us wear a bungee necklace with a full beer on it just in case someone experiences an Out Of Beer (OOB) emergency. I can offer my already opened beer to my buddy and simply reach down and grab the backup off my beer necklace. And, without exception, we always use the 7-foot hose on the beer bong.
Of course, we don't stay in every night so when we do decide to go out we make sure we're still DIR. All of us wear exactly the same clothing:
One thing to keep in mind about nightclubs is that you seldom want to penetrate a club on beer. I know, some of the macho jerks do this and brag to all of their buddies. Believe me, it's not DIR. You have to do it on mixed drinks. Obviously the mix will be different on different nights but a good vodka tonic mix is pretty standard.
Again, there's a right way and a wrong way to do this. You can't just order any old vodka or depend on some bartender to get the mix right. That's what the strokes do. No, you order Stoli vodka, which has an excellent reputation in the DIR partying community. The correct blend is 2oz Stoli with tonic water poured over ice in a highball glass (lemon or lime optional). I always bring a testing kit with me and if the blend is off, I send it back. It's just not worth the risk and it's not DIR.
So you penetrate the nightclub and you've got a good mix, now it's time to meet the ladies. I should have said this earlier but watch your drink consumption. It's a well-known fact that women look 25% - 30% better in a nightclub and if you get all narced up on vodka tonic, it increases your chances of a coyote ugly blackout. You have to keep your wits about you.
If it's early, you probably have pretty good viz. Later in the evening when the smoke silts up the room it'll be harder to make out the women on the other side of the club so get your headings early. On a few occasions I've had to bust out the wreck reel just to get to the bathroom and back.
If you are lucky enough to hook up with a nice hottie, this is when doing it right really can pay off. Now, let's face it, there's a certain degree of danger involved here that I don't want to downplay. You need to minimize your risks by using the proper equipment. I carry 2 condoms. One I put on . . . well you know, and the second I put on a bungee that goes around my waist. If there's a malfunction on my primary, I can quickly go to my backup without skipping a beat.
So, as you can see from these pretty basic examples, DIR is not just for diving. It's something you can use in all areas of your life.
I converted to DIR about 6 months ago and I have found that the philosophy extends way beyond diving. I think most people tend to view DIR as a gear configuration or diving objective type of thing but it really is a philosophy that you can use in other parts of your life. For instance, below are just some of the ways I've extended the DIR way of doing things into other areas of my life.
Last week some of my buddies came over to my house. Now, not all of them are divers but they do understand the DIR philosophy. So, first off, we all drink the same beer. This avoids any situations where you might be enjoying a lager and accidentally pick up an ale (or the other way around). That can be very uncool. That could quickly lead to a panic situation so we avoid it all together.
We also drink only from cans, no bottles. And we never put the beer in the refrigerator. It always goes in the ice chest in my living room. 47% of Drinking Related Incidents (DRI) occur when someone is going to the fridge for another beer so better to be safe than sorry. Of course, this is all rigged up while we're still 100% sober so there's no impaired judgment once things get cooking.
All of us wear a bungee necklace with a full beer on it just in case someone experiences an Out Of Beer (OOB) emergency. I can offer my already opened beer to my buddy and simply reach down and grab the backup off my beer necklace. And, without exception, we always use the 7-foot hose on the beer bong.
Of course, we don't stay in every night so when we do decide to go out we make sure we're still DIR. All of us wear exactly the same clothing:
- Levi's 501 Jeans (button hole, straight leg)
- Gap Black T-shirt
- Haynes boxer shorts, black
- Gold Toe socks, black
- Kenneth Cole shoes, Brad Bitt style
- G-Shock watch, black band
- Nylon belt, black, with military buckle
- Black Leather Jacket (optional, depending on weather conditions)
One thing to keep in mind about nightclubs is that you seldom want to penetrate a club on beer. I know, some of the macho jerks do this and brag to all of their buddies. Believe me, it's not DIR. You have to do it on mixed drinks. Obviously the mix will be different on different nights but a good vodka tonic mix is pretty standard.
Again, there's a right way and a wrong way to do this. You can't just order any old vodka or depend on some bartender to get the mix right. That's what the strokes do. No, you order Stoli vodka, which has an excellent reputation in the DIR partying community. The correct blend is 2oz Stoli with tonic water poured over ice in a highball glass (lemon or lime optional). I always bring a testing kit with me and if the blend is off, I send it back. It's just not worth the risk and it's not DIR.
So you penetrate the nightclub and you've got a good mix, now it's time to meet the ladies. I should have said this earlier but watch your drink consumption. It's a well-known fact that women look 25% - 30% better in a nightclub and if you get all narced up on vodka tonic, it increases your chances of a coyote ugly blackout. You have to keep your wits about you.
If it's early, you probably have pretty good viz. Later in the evening when the smoke silts up the room it'll be harder to make out the women on the other side of the club so get your headings early. On a few occasions I've had to bust out the wreck reel just to get to the bathroom and back.
If you are lucky enough to hook up with a nice hottie, this is when doing it right really can pay off. Now, let's face it, there's a certain degree of danger involved here that I don't want to downplay. You need to minimize your risks by using the proper equipment. I carry 2 condoms. One I put on . . . well you know, and the second I put on a bungee that goes around my waist. If there's a malfunction on my primary, I can quickly go to my backup without skipping a beat.
So, as you can see from these pretty basic examples, DIR is not just for diving. It's something you can use in all areas of your life.
OP
richerso
Contributor
Your gasoline thread seems to be a bit more serious and emotionally charged than my silly ol' thread. My thread is fun! Your thread is, well, just intense.
The whole DIR night club thing, now that's funny! I don't care who you are. That's funny.
The whole DIR night club thing, now that's funny! I don't care who you are. That's funny.
bogrady
Contributor
I would not go as far as to say that Richerso is "Stupid"
I think he is actually looking for a comfortable way to Dive and get a Lap Dance at the same time.
We all know what kind of Diver he would be then .....
A Hoochie Diver :jb:
I'm thinking that the buddy breathing drill for the Hoochie Diver specialty would be quite interesting.
Timeliner
Contributor
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