I would NEVER hold my husband's hand underwater!! That would make me concerned if I saw a couple do that! I do agree that women give up responsibility more easily than men, especially when we are unsure.
I took what you said seriously and want to learn. I was talking with my husband about what you said and I was hoping you responded because I am trying to figure out how you make a plan for a dive you haven't been to before. For example, we have done three dives that we had not been to before, all from the beach. How do you make your plan if you don't know what is under there? Is your plan just for time/depth?
Thank you and again, I am appreciative of your advice and help.
The complexity and detail of your plan has to be appropriate for the dive site.
If it is a simple beach dive and the sea conditions are calm and there is little or no current and there is no dangerous boat traffic and there is no restriction as to where you can exit the water, then time and depth and the pressure you want to hit before heading back should all be established. You make a simple conservative plan that everyone is comfortable with. Letting someone on shore know where and when you are diving is smart too.
If you are a new diver and/or ignorant of the dive site, it is always smart to ask the locals for what to look for and what to look out for.
Years ago, I went for a solo beach dive in the Pacific northwest. Cold and pretty dirty water near seattle Washington. Not sure where really. Rented a tank, swam out there a ways and in 10 minutes I was in some serious trouble. I was 20-30 feet deep or something, but I got picked up by a horrendous current! I swam and crawled like hell and fought my way back to shore which required a good bit of my air and ALL my strength. If I was not strong and experienced in significant current, I would have been swept away.
I had done lotsa dives in seemingly similar conditions off the beach in Maine (cold limited visibility), so I figured I didn't need to seem stupid and ask the local dive shop about the site and any "issues". When I returned the rental tank and indicated that I had quite an adventure, they were like.. "you CAN't dive there, except on a certain tidal window"
I think they literally didn't believe me that I had actually dove there at the time I said. They showed me a tide chart and said there could be like 7 kt currents... I never saw anything close to that, but I was nearly swept away and in cold water, in a wetsuit with limited potential exits, it could have been a serious problem.
So seeking local knowledge and/or going with experienced and knowledgeable people on a new site is recommended. I know nothing about where you were diving, so possibly many of the shore dives are much more benign. At the least, you can have mentors or guides involve you in the formation of the dive plan, which ensures that everyone is on the same page as to what the critical goals and limitations of the dive are.