As someone who lives and dives off the NC Coast several times a month most of the year, I can absolutely agree with the other responses that what you experienced is NORMAL for Atlantic Ocean (above Florida) diving. Major wave height and intensity, low visibility, thermoclines, murky deep and cold waters, rusty wrecks, no mooring or buoy lines, dive boat anchors breaking loose, thunderstorms, silt-out conditions, etc, etc. But hey! This is, IMO, what makes NC coast diving some of the best (or worst?) in the world, and why it should always be considered and planned as advanced diving. In fact, most of the good dive operators (especially those North of Myrtle Beach area) require some sort of advanced certifications, previous dives in excess of 100', etc. In addition, we ALWAYS carry a pony bottle (NOT that Spare Air thingie), wreck reels, multiple lights, air-powered DiveAlerts, whistles, grownup-sized SMB's (not the cheap 4 foot versions), trauma shears and knives, high-intensity strobes, etc. These are considered mandatory gear, not optional...at least by many NC divers.
In short - offshore NC/SC coastal dives are not for the faint of heart nor for new divers who simply want an 'ocean experience'. I am saddened by how many new divers I have seen totally turned off of diving because they dove the coast unprepared for the conditions. And, as other posts mentioned, despite the best efforts of the dive operators, once you are in the water YOU are in charge of your own life (and your buddy is in charge of his/hers!). And the old mantra of Plan your dive, Dive your plan is the absolute bible to me and my buddies - we take no chances, we check our egos at the dock, and nothing underwater is worth more than my or my buddy's life (not even that monster grouper when spearfishing!).
All this being said, the above gear and planning and scenarios are my own choosing (and that of many other experienced East coast divers). I am not here to make it seem as if we are diving the Andrea Doria or that coastal diving is just too complicated or gear-intensive or overwhelming. If the original poster would like to continue to do coastal dives, I would invite you to contact me or other regular NC coast divers, and we would be happy to meet up and plan a dive that will leave you comfortable and gasping for more (in a figurative sense). My fellow divers and I are happy to find new 'buddies' and enjoy safe, comfortable dives in an otherwise unforgiving environment.
Cheers!
P.S. - Diving this weekend out of Morehead City - private boat (the best!), probably will try for the Atlas and the Caribsea wrecks, or alternatively the Naeco and Papoose.