How to spot a "bad buddy" - have you ever refused a buddy?

[ScubaJill]

As a newbie (I'm still a newb though, 150 dives in) with about 35 dives, a diver signed up for dives with a group I'd been diving with for a couple of weeks. He was energetic and loud and forceful and talked in a braggadocious manner. I don't recall if he spoke about his experience or what he planned to do underwater, but as the DM was beginning to pair up the divers, a very experienced diver, decades older, who until that point ignored me, reached his hand across the 12 seater and introduced himself and asked if I'd like to be his dive buddy.

My inexperience may have prevented me from being proactive like the older diver but it didn't stop me from feeling a pit in my stomach at the thought of diving with the guy.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

I don't mind diving with somebody who likes to brag, as long as he can walk the talk ... after all, once we're underwater he ain't gonna be talking much anyway ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[M DeM]

(I'm steeling myself to hear a list of things that I do constantly.....)

Dude, brace yourself. The buddy everyone is going to warn you about is going to sound uncomfortably like... yourself.

 

[M DeM]

That's so interesting-- because the trip I'm going on where I'll have an instabuddy is.... Cayman, and specifically Kittiwake!

I agree, lack of experience can be a factor, but I’ve done dives with great buddies with little experience and one where the persons has tons of dives, but is the worst. 2 come to mind. First a guy I called “zippy”. As soon as we decented he would take off expecting me to follow, the guy was in his own world and could care less if something happened to me, he would be so far ahead he wouldn’t even know if I had an issue. When I would finally catch up, he would take off again. Told the DM after the 2 dives to never pair him with me again.

2nd one, Cayman Island, Buddy has “hundreds” of dives, he boasted about how many more dives he had over me, basically letting me know I had a lot to learn from him. Get in the water, he can’t decent, he asked me how much weight I had. I said 4 lbs, he said not enough b/c he was using 15. I said I’m fine and have no problems. He gets more weight, we finally can descend. He blows threw his air in about 20 mins on a dive which went to 75 for about 3 mins. when we boarded he asked how much air I had left, I only used a little over 1200psi. Oh course, he says I must of had a overfilled tank. 2nd dive for the day on the Kittiwake. Guy switches gears to go side doubles with a full cave/wreak set up. I looked at the DM and said “not happening”.

That's s

 

[M DeM]

You might be a bad buddy if:2. you frantically look at other assembled kits on the boat in an attempt to figure out how to put your gear together

I have definitely done this. More for confirmation that I'm not missing something that everyone else has done...but yeah. I do this.

 

[M DeM]

If you are looking for a potentially good insta-buddy in your early stages of diving, the following may be helpful.
1. Find a diver that is putting together his/her own gear in a relaxed, methodical way, is not waiting for the dive crew to put it together, and does not have dive gear spread all over the deck.
2. The diver knows exactly how much weight he/she needs regardless of what the DM thinks.
3. Per Northernone above, is not trying to impress everyone with stories about all the wonderful places he/she has dived.
4. Does not have a GoPro on a stick.
5. Someone that does not treat you like a turd in a punchbowl just because you are a new diver.

This is really helpful -- thank you.

 

[Magnus Lundstedt]

I get this and agree. At the same time, dive operators often frown on divers putting together their gear even when the diver owns the gear. It's easy to get out of practice when you never do it. So I'd like advice (as a new diver) on how to deal with this.

Just tell them "I set up my own gear and no one touch my gear!" That's what i usaly says, and i have newer heard anyone appose.

 

[TMHeimer]

I've never refused a buddy, be it on a charter or shore dive. I've been very lucky in that ALMOST all of my buddies have been OK. I am confident that I can take care of myself and usually dive solo. I would talk to someone you are "instabuddied" with to see if they know what they are doing. Also, I paid big bucks and want to dive.

 

[BRT]

I get this and agree. At the same time, dive operators often frown on divers putting together their gear even when the diver owns the gear. It's easy to get out of practice when you never do it. So I'd like advice (as a new diver) on how to deal with this.

The divemasters love helpless people who depend on them because of the tips. Ask them kindly to let you set up your own stuff and then check it for you. Or just ask them to keep their mitts off.

 

[Littlerayray]

I've got 3 people on my no dive buddy list so far the first guy we were doing our OW course in the pool and we buddies up and he kept doing things wrong after patiently telling him how it's supposed to be done (holding his breath) .the second guy was because he panicked and took off on me when his tank came loose. The 3rd guy let his newly graduated sil go almost ooa he had 500 psi when I finally checked his spg I gave him my octo and immediately surfaced where the instructor and myself promptly gave the fil an ass reaming so hard he couldn't sit down for a month.
Now how to spot a bad db not sure but but I talk to my db or ib and ask what they want or have planned if it sounds good to me I say sure I also let them know that any deviation not agreed upon by the 2 of us will result in me surfacing I'm a hard was but people know why (I've seen and been a part of some messed up dice accidents not to take things lightheartedly