Some of us find our spouse before we find scuba diving. Even were that not the case, some of us (in other words, me) are such odd-balls that finding a match is such a lengthy, 'needle-in-a-haystack' ordeal that adding extra stipulations like 'must be an avid diver' isn't practical.
I see a difference in approach to vacations in those aiming for mutual happiness.
1.) Separate vacations - I'll do a live-aboard, you'll go on a road trip with a girl friend.
2.) Compromise vacations - go somewhere we both like, not my 1st choice, I'll dive, but not as much as I want or the best diving I could find.
3.) Alternating vacations - we'll go together to Bonaire for me, later do a cruise for you, then...
I've done some of all 3 approaches. I wouldn't want to be stuck with just one approach.
She is respectful of my diving life, and she does not interfere with it except in one area--she does not want me ever solo diving. She knows I have done it on occasion, and she knows I believe there are circumstances where it is safer to dive solo, but she is firm.
This speaks to an interesting special case; what happens when the spouse (either gender) has a stubborn opposition which the diver considers irrational/neurotic? Solo diving may well be the poster child for this; my wife did the basic OW & nitrox courses and got indoctrinated into the 2 types of diving; 'buddy diving vs. solo/reckless/dangerous diving' dichotomy and would not be argued out of it by rational debate. So I quit debating and went solo diving! Obviously not everyone has the same view.
In my defense, she used to ride a motorcycle. I had a negative opinion of that, but I never told her she couldn't, or tried to brow-beat her into stopping. What's good for the goose is good for the gander...
Richard.