How to piss off a Divemaster?

[TMHeimer]

The briefing probably takes 10 minutes, and you'll base your dive plan on what you hear. Buddy checks, emerg. procedures and hand signals are usually pretty standard. That leaves a lot of chatter time on a 2 hr. trip, including when you're gearing up. I have noticed (more when I was a beginner) that laid back chatter usually takes place for a while then when it's time to gear up all Hell breaks loose--it's a race! Maybe it just seemed that way at first?

 

[thez_yo]

some good points, although it is a little late to be checking CO, O2, pressure and making sure your gear works once on the boat going to the dive site. What if something is wrong? would you turn the boat around or sit out the dive?

There are some instances in which you wouldn't or couldn't check out your tank and/or gear on the tank before the boat leaves the dock, e.g.:

Large group of tourists all over the place and all their gear all over the place so you can't get to 'your' boat-assigned filled tank until after the boat leaves the dock.
A secondary fill on their boat from their compressor in the middle of the ocean - you should check that tank fill too.

I'm sure there are more, but that's just off the top of my head scenarios that have happened to me. When you aren't particularly large or loud, and are the quiet guy that people have been talking about is the incident-waiting-to-happen here, getting past oblivious space-hogs or through to seemingly inattentive boat captains is impossible. And no, I don't dive *those* boats any more.

And yes, if something is wrong, sit out the dive.

 

[Tigerman]

Its also kinda hard to check the tank before you get on the boat when the first time you have access to it is after the boat leave the dock...

 

[Dirty-Dog]

some good points, although it is a little late to be checking CO, O2, pressure and making sure your gear works once on the boat going to the dive site. What if something is wrong? would you turn the boat around or sit out the dive?

Kind of depends on what, exactly is wrong, yes? Leaky O-Ring? No problem, got one right here. Busted SPG? Hmmmm... I don't seem to have one. What sort of extra equipment is available? Can I swap it out? If so, no problem. If I can't, then I'm sitting out.

 

[supergaijin]

Seriously, if you're that butt-hurt that they're not grinning and babbling away like excited schoolchildren on their way to Disneyworld and telling you every last detail of what they want to see you could always try just asking them. You know, that communication thing is a two-way street and you're employed, as a DM, to get that communication going.

It seems some people are determined to read in to something that was not actually written.

Silent people annoy me. They will be on the boat for the best part of a day not talking to anyone. When questioned about their diving interests, their replies are vague and they look disinterested- it's really hard to plan a dive site for these folks. They can really change the dynamics of an otherwise upbeat group of people. Communication is important- it makes everyone's life so much easier.

I thought it was clear enough that I wasn't talking about wanting to be on a boat with a bunch of 'Woo girls' and it seems some have graduated from beginner divers to a 'sniff at the cat-herder' type. But hey,

 

[bowlofpetunias]

I confess I have done it on purpose once:doh: Got on a boat and a recent DM graduate said to our group of 4 experienced divers..."I am a DM now so you have to listen to me and do what I tell you!" Note this was someone who just happened to be booked on to the boat but not as the DM. One of our group said "Starburst pattern" We hit the bottom and all headed in different directions. The DM swam in a few circles trying to decide who to follow... we regrouped and conducted our dive as planned and the DM meekly followed. Had the DM been employed by the boat we would have respected that. In this case the lack of respect for us as experienced competent divers and trying to throw the weight of the card around only created resistance!

If you are booked onto a boat where an in water DM/guide is required IMHO you listen to the Dive brief and follow it. In my experience doing so is likely to result in the DM giving you a long leash and letting you "do your own thing" in subsequent dives when they realize they don't have to worry about you!

 

[Diving Dubai]

Dear DM's

If when I've signed up for your boat you want to check my log book, ask questions on my experience - feel free
If you want to engage in conversation - Feel free
If you want to question me about my rig, you might see something wrong or something different you're interested in - Feel Free
If you want to check my spg, and that my tank is on before a dive - Feel free
If on the second day of diving you cut me some slack because I've not been a PITA and you've decided for yourself I can dive - Feel free
At the end of the dive, I'll help you unload the boat and the tanks too because I don't expect for my kit to be lifted on and off the boat while I lounge around and complain.

Thanks for giving me a great dive even if mother nature hasn't played along, I feel for you having to deal with this other whiners day in and day out. Yes I agree they may have wanted to research the diving they were going on before they booked.

See you tomorrow for some more diving and a few laughs making this vacation enjoyable.

 

[flots am]

If when I've signed up for your boat you want to check my log book, ask questions on my experience - feel free
If you want to engage in conversation - Feel free
If you want to question me about my rig, you might see something wrong or something different you're interested in - Feel Free
If you want to check my spg, and that my tank is on before a dive - Feel free
If on the second day of diving you cut me some slack because I've not been a PITA and you've decided for yourself I can dive - Feel free
At the end of the dive, I'll help you unload the boat and the tanks too because I don't expect for my kit to be lifted on and off the boat while I lounge around and complain.

Having a DM "help" is like having a food-taster show up at dinner to make sure I'm cooking properly.

If I ask for help, that's fine. Otherwise, stay the hell away and don't get butt-hurt when your intrusion isn't welcome.

 

[fjpatrum]

Honestly I don't understand how people stand around chatting about any old thing underway to a dive site when there's more important stuff to do like check tank pressure, CO content, O2% if you've got something other than air, make sure your gear all works, put all your gear on, discuss dive plan with your buddy, discuss emergency procedures with your buddy, discuss hand-signals with your buddy, listen to the DM's dive conditions/site brief, and check your buddy's gear too to make sure you both have the appropriate gear and you both know how to use each other's gear.

Yeah but what do you do with the other 1-2 hours of the boat ride? You can only check your gear so many times before it becomes counterproductive. A good buddy discussion really only takes about 5 minutes.

There's a whole world of things to talk about, both dive related and non-dive related. Why limit yourself just to the specific dive at hand once that topic's covered?

I'm no DM and never will be. I have been helped by great DMs and "hindered" by not-so-great DMs in my short diving experience. I've accidentally been the douche-bag no show diver that held up a boat (and another Scubaboard member I tried to meet up with) and I apologized when I could. Sh*t happens, roll with it. Treat people with respect and courtesy. It will make your vacation and your DM experiences (as the pro or the non-pro) much better in the end.

 

[boulderjohn]

Having a DM "help" is like having a food-taster show up at dinner to make sure I'm cooking properly.

If I ask for help, that's fine. Otherwise, stay the hell away and don't get butt-hurt when your intrusion isn't welcome.

As for me, I realize that the DM is doing his or her job as dictated by the employer, and that includes taking good care of the customers in the manner prescribed by that employer. I will politely tell the DM that I prefer to take care of my own equipment, and the DM will politely let that happen--never seen it otherwise. I have found that when I am polite and cooperative in my dealings with DMs, life during those dives is much better. In fact, I find life is better in general when I don't cop an attitude with everyone I meet.

Here is an example far from the world of scuba. Let's say you are a school teacher or administrator in a high school that allows students to roam the halls during lunch periods, because there frankly isn't anywhere else for them to go. You are on duty in those halls, and you see a student sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Near him is an empty milk carton. There are two very different possible scenarios, each dependent upon how you handle things from the start:

Scenario One
You (In a stern tone): Hey, pick up that milk carton and throw it in the trash!
Student: It isn't mine.
You: I didn't say it was yours. Now pick it up and throw it away now!
Student: It isn't mine!
(The scene escalates from there as anger grows on both sides. Before long, we could be looking at a student suspension.)

Scenario Two
You (in a friendly tone): Hi! Could you do me a favor and toss that milk carton in the trash when you get a chance. I'll appreciate it.
Student: Sure!
You: Thanks!