significant other taking up diving

[tkdgodess]

My dh does not dive. He fully supported me in my early 20's in my diving addiction. Even now he can get certified and dive for free, he still has no interest.

I have taken several dive vacations with other women with non-diver SO's and it cost the men LESS to send us diving than a weekend shopping in a major city

Now I have 2 kiddies under 3, diving really is my escape, right now it's mostly ow/aow, but hey I'm getting paid to teach people a recreational sport. I love diving, it refreshes me and makes me a better wife & mommy. We do other things together that we both enjoy (golf, going to the cabin etc)

 

[mksmith713]

My wife and I did our OW together in Roatan.
We loved it so much, we went back 6 months later and did out AOW together.
I'm into it a little more than she is......OK, alot more than she is.
I've logged probably 500 more dives than she has in the last 2 years.
My youngest daughter is doing her "Future Buddies" training in a few weeks so I'll have another dive buddy but my wife is still my first and best dive budddy

 

[knowone]

I started diving as a boy by myself unmarried.
All remains unchanged.
Equilibrium must be maintained.

You come from everyone to spend a brief period of unspoilt beauty with no one.

 

[vinegarbiscuit]

We were both already divers when we met...heck, that's how we met! -and it's been awesome. Birthday and holiday gifts are a snap; there's never any disagreement about where to go on holiday; and you don't have to explain why you absolutely must have a $1,000 "flashlight"! (My SO does, however, have to justify why he wants to by at least two more rebreathers...there are limits.) Let me tell you, a dive couple also accumulates a very impressive assortment of gear between the two of them...we have enough spare gear laying around to outfit a third diver, and it's only going to grow from here on in!

For me, the one downer is the inequality in our diving skills. My SO is a recreational instructor, an experienced open circuit tech diver (wrecks/caves) and a budding rebreather diver. I'm still completing my cave diving education (I just finished my Apprentice cert), so I'm way behind him on the learning curve. I benefit immensely from his tips and advice, and it frustrates me that I can't reciprocate. Other than that, I'm so glad that I have a diver as a partner...

 

[TSandM]

I suspect there have been a number of times in the last five years when my husband has bitterly regretted getting me into diving, especially when he is balancing the checkbook.

We have had some very unpleasant arguments over diving. I would highly recommend you listen to what your girlfriend wants and needs in a dive buddy, and either accede to her wishes or find her another buddy who will. It does NOT work to pair people with different diving goals in the water and expect them to have a good time, simply because they are involved with one another.

 

[vinegarbiscuit]

I suspect there have been a number of times in the last five years when my husband has bitterly regretted getting me into diving, especially when he is balancing the checkbook.

We have had some very unpleasant arguments over diving. I would highly recommend you listen to what your girlfriend wants and needs in a dive buddy, and either accede to her wishes or find her another buddy who will. It does NOT work to pair people with different diving goals in the water and expect them to have a good time, simply because they are involved with one another.

Absolutely. There will undoubtedly be dives one person really wants to make, and others that the SO doesn't want to make/isn't qualified to make. I have little interest in rebreathers, for example, so my SO knows he'll have to hook up with his rebreather buddies to undertake certain deep dives (I can't even join him on open circuit, since I'm not comfortable with anything more than soft decompression on shallower dives, and lack the deco proceedures/advanced EAN knowledge to undertake deep dives safely). But that's fine: I think it's very healthy to recognize one's own limits, and step back and give one's SO the freedom to live up to his/her full potential.

 

[parkerco]

My soon-to-be wife and I got into diving together and took to it in the same way, so much so that we both just finished our DM training together. 99% of it has been awesome -- it not only gives us something fun to do but combines the joy of diving with our joy of travel in the perfect package. She's starting to get into UW photography as well, which should work great since I've always just been the one with the camera.

One word of caution, however. If you are having issues on a given day, leave them (the issues, not your SO!) on the boat/shore. Worst dive I've ever had was one where we got into it on the boat and took those vibes underwater.

 

[PfcAJ]

My girlfriend got certified while we were in Thailand a month ago. We had a great time, and I'm quite shocked at how much she genuinely loves diving. She "gets it" now when I talk about something, which is nice.

My advice though, is do not let her develop any sort of dependency on you. She might want you to "help" (aka do her for) her set up her equipment, call all the shots, etc. Don't do it. If she struggles a bit, LET HER. Advice and real help is one thing, but make sure you know where that line is and let her develop independently. I made sure to stay well away from my girlfriend's class, I let her set up her own stuff, carry her own gear, and plan her own dive.

Having a significant other that enjoys something you do is a real gift. It also smooths the waters when you want a new piece of gear

 

[Rainer]

My advice:

(1) Leave any interpersonal issues on shore. Treat your SO with the same respect you would any other buddy/friend.

(2) Place no undo expectations on your SO; nothing more than you place on your normal buddies/friends.

(3) Do not pressure your SO (wrt dives, gear, training, etc). Provide (balanced) information, but let any choices be theirs.

(4) Make sure you are each independent (wrt skills, planning, gear maintenance, leading, navigating, etc) when it comes to diving.

 

[FritzCat66]

I'm curious to know how others' relationships have benefitted/suffered when the non-diving half becomes a diver.

I was not in any relationships when I was really getting into diving and still prefer to live solo even when in one; I'm specifically avoiding getting involved with another diver because I really don't want them ruining my dive experience - I'm not interested in being their buddy, nor worrying about them underwater, nor having them worry about me underwater, nor having them make my dive arrangements, nor schlepping their gear, etc.

So, if they weren't diving to begin with, I'm certainly not the least bit interested in getting any partner of mine started in scuba. Might sound curmudgeonly, but it's just the truth! Diving is my recreation and hobby away from everything else - including the relationship.