Diving with your recently certified Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Life Partner/Whatever

[Garrobo]

You get what you pay for. If the DM was actually that and working for the OP as a DM and was sent out to dive with you and you GF then he/she would probably have paid more attention to her. Being asked to perform a DM's duties at no pay while on their day off and/or not working for the dive shop is asking quite a bit.

 

[BioLogic]

I don't want to come off as trying to attack you (wow, don't you hate when comments start like that), I am just curious as to what yours and your instructors justification was for why buddy diving uniquely prevents divers from being self sufficient? Was this a solo diving course (most standards require the assignment of buddy teams)? Sorry to the OP and for anyone else that may see these questions as at best tangentially related to the discussion. If so, we could continue this through pm...

I don't mind doing this through pm, but as it seems to me to be relevant to the original post I'll start here...if I'm annoying the rest of you folk, let me know and we'll go private.

I took the concern to be that many couples have one person who likes to manage and the other who's more passive. The 'follower' in this scenario (more often the woman, not always) ends up not having to think things through herself, and even ends up not physically doing things herself as the other person does more than his share of gear setup and whatever. Without this practice in self-sufficiency, the more passive diver does not learn the skills as effectively.

While this dynamic can occur in any pair of people, many 'mate' couples have that kind of pattern firmly established already, so it's more commonly a problem. I certainly see that dynamic a lot in couples I see diving, particularly when the woman is less into the sport than the guy.

p.s. -- didn't sound like an attack to me; just a question

 

[vladimir]

My wife is my dive buddy these days. I cannot imagine diving with anyone else.... and I sincerely doubt they'd be comfortable diving arm-in-arm with me like my wife is

Yeah, you and I will not be buddies if we have to lock arms.

I held my (ex-) wife's hand for her first few dives--it helped her get over her initial butterflies and she turned out to be a great diver. I'd still be happy to buddy with her--as long as my wallet was in a safe place.

 

[Sas]

Every single diver you have seen in the water with a Divemaster rating has sucked?

n=a small number always, with comments like these.

The question of whether couple buddy pairs work is impossible to generalise and if buddy pairs don't work out that way it doesn't mean they don't have a good relationship in other areas... My partner doesn't dive and I honestly don't know how we'd go together in the water. We argue a lot about everything (I wouldn't have it any other way) and are both stubborn as hell but it is never disrespectful, we have great communication, completely honest with each other and we trust each other... We have activities that we both enjoy together and others that if we tried to participate in together we'd drive each other insane (I suspect diving would be one of these). I think if it doesn't work out diving with a spouse, just move on, no big deal

 

[RJP]

Since I was aware that my GF needed to work on her dive skills and I don't consider myself fully prepared to act on an emergency

Question for you: do you plan to do anything about this? As a certified diver, are you not competent to be an effective buddy? If not, good for you to recognize that fact...but what are you going to do to rectify the situation?

I'd strongly suggest taking a rescue class. Will greatly increase your situational awareness, self-rescue and buddy-rescue abilities...all of which will greatly increase your own confidence.

Good luck and enjoy diving with your GF!

 

[Dr Wu]

n=a small number always, with comments like these.

What does that mean?

 

[I Dive]

Hi!
When I learned to dive, about 7 years ago, My instructor told me that it wasn't a good idea for a couple to dive together as buddies (I can't remember her reasons).

Not all advice passed on from Instructors has merit...

 

[Sas]

What does that mean?

Oh n refers to sample size in statistics. It is better to have a larger sample size for more accuracy. When n=a small number it means it is not very accurate.

But in this context, generally when people say 'everyone who is such and such is not very good' or similar, it means they haven't met many. It wasn't meant to criticise StreetDoctor (though reading back it might come across a bit harsh - sorry!)... I more meant that he might have had bad experiences but his experiences alone are not enough to generalise. I personally haven't used many DMs. FWIW, of the dive guides I have used (maybe around 10? most early on), one was good (the most recent actually), most very average, a couple bad.

 

[sabbath999]

I don't mind doing this through pm, but as it seems to me to be relevant to the original post I'll start here...if I'm annoying the rest of you folk, let me know and we'll go private.

I took the concern to be that many couples have one person who likes to manage and the other who's more passive. The 'follower' in this scenario (more often the woman, not always) ends up not having to think things through herself, and even ends up not physically doing things herself as the other person does more than his share of gear setup and whatever. Without this practice in self-sufficiency, the more passive diver does not learn the skills as effectively.

While this dynamic can occur in any pair of people, many 'mate' couples have that kind of pattern firmly established already, so it's more commonly a problem. I certainly see that dynamic a lot in couples I see diving, particularly when the woman is less into the sport than the guy.

p.s. -- didn't sound like an attack to me; just a question

Just to be completely clear on this, she is talking about the actual open water CLASSES here.

He doesn't let spouses team with each other in classes, nor does he let parents team with their kids in class.

The way he explained it is that he wants every diver to be able to be completely self sufficient in setting up their gear, donning their gear, doing buddy checks, etc. Breaking up spouses or other family members makes each person have to work with their training buddy, and not bring any personal baggage into the pool.

I went through OW class as the buddy of a 13 year old kid, while the kid's father was buddied up with my wife (who was already recently certified, but she went through the pool sessions again because she was there with me and they had an odd number in the class).

 

[Dr Wu]

Oh n refers to sample size in statistics. It is better to have a larger sample size for more accuracy. When n=a small number it means it is not very accurate.

But in this context, generally when people say 'everyone who is such and such is not very good' or similar, it means they haven't met many. It wasn't meant to criticise StreetDoctor (though reading back it might come across a bit harsh - sorry!)... I more meant that he might have had bad experiences but his experiences alone are not enough to generalise. I personally haven't used many DMs. FWIW, of the dive guides I have used (maybe around 10? most early on), one was good (the most recent actually), most very average, a couple bad.

Thats cool to know.

The only statistic is know is too many peanut M&M means my drysuit will likely no longer fit.