Wife Is nervous diving

[wausman]

My wife and I got our OW certs in June and my wife did have some issues with getting comfortable during our certifications. After that we went to Key largo and made some did a few dives with some Encouragement and patience she made it thought the vacation and had a great time. Since then we have tried to dive here at home a couple times in Indiana and she just seems really hard for her to get comfortable with it and enjoy herself.

She says she wants to do it and she likes it. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get her to relax a little?

 

[diver 85]

My experience--------Wife, daughter & I all cert. summer of '85...After certification(Aug of that year) in Toledo Bend Reservoir our instructor told me on the side that once she hits the Caribbean, you will lose your wife to local La. freshwater diving.....Sure nuff, she made several local dives with us(daughter & myself) till we went to Belize, Dec of '85, then Grand Cayman, March of '86---she has NOT been back in freshwater since---maybe the 'pretty water' bug bit & hit your wife also....dun know....

 

[*dave*]

If she wasn't comfortable during certification, she really should not have been certified. I would recommend going back to her instructor to request additional instruction. Her instructor did not do their job.

 

[Damselfish]

Sounds like you got certified in cold water and I assume low viz. And she wasn't all that comfortable in it then, and still isn't. That doesn't necessarily mean her training was bad, some people simply will never like those conditions. It's possible more warm water diving, just to get more easy experiemce, would help with diving at home - or of course it could erase all interest in diving at home.

Did she actually like the warm water diving though? The words "did a few dives with some Encouragement and patience she made it through the vacation" don't sound like someone who's actually "having a great time."

It's always possible she doesn't really want to do it at home or even in warm water, and is just saying she does for your sake or whatever reason, and being uncomfortable is her true feelings coming out. It might help if you give more details what exactly you mean by her not being "comfortable." Is it the temp? The viz? The wetsuit? Problems with skills? Fears of whatever?

 

[wausman]

Yes she likes the water in the Keys alot better but even there I had to hold her hand and help her through it.

On the instructor's behalf we did pay for a extra day in the OW to work her through it and they were very patient and took the time to get her through it. And we can go tomorrow on a dive And she will be fine. But she is so nervous that I have to watch her at all times so then I dont get to enjoy it . Do you think she just needs more time in the water?

Also she was the same way in the

 

[TSandM]

First off, please don't get mad at me.

The fact that you are asking the question causes me to worry that you are not listening to what your wife is saying.

When I first got certified, I was a very nervous diver. I hated low viz (which is what we HAVE here in Puget Sound in the summertime) but I wanted to dive. My husband, who had certified in the late 60's and dived in Puget Sound for ten or more years thereafter, simply didn't understand how tentative I was. I asked him to stay where I could see him, and his answer was, "I like the freedom in 3 dimensions, I'm not going to swim by your side." I needed him there to feel safe -- I really can't defend that now, but it was true at the time.

So our solution was to go to the dive site together, but dive with different buddies. I found lovely people who would stay where I could see them, and allow me to have a comfortable dive.

So, what has your wife stated about why she's nervous? You don't need to ask us. You need to ask HER.

 

[*dave*]

More time may or may not help, depending on your wife. Do you know specifically what it is that bothers her? Is she afraid of dropping into the abyss, being attacked by something or does the gear make her nervous? If she has an irrational fear, that would be beyond the expertise of an instructor to resolve.

My wife does not enjoy and has no desire to dive local. She's pretty comfortable in warm, clear water, but doesn't dive locally any more. Less than ideal for me, but I'd rather diving 10x a year and be comfortable than 30x a year being uncomfortable or worse yet, give it up completely.

Best of luck!

On the instructor's behalf we did pay for a extra day in the OW to work her through it and they were very patient and took the time to get her through it. And we can go tomorrow on a dive And she will be fine. But she is so nervous that I have to watch her at all times so then I dont get to enjoy it . Do you think she just needs more time in the water?

 

[ShakaZulu]

Off course she is, you are her husband

 

[paddler3d]

My wife and yours should get together.

In warm clear water she is sound as a pound. I cold, dark quarries, with all the crap on, not so sound.

I've just accepted that she will be a warm water vacation diver.

We just get to the pool before we go anywhere and do a review.

 

[wausman]

I believe she did enjoy it not just for my sake. Just by the way she talked about it after we went in the warm water.
But as for giving you more info
It seems like she feels out of control the whole time we are down her arms are moving trying to control herself instead of relaxing. And I would say fears of whatever.

I could always find someone else as a dive buddy but she always says that she wants to do it and I dont want to give up on her.