Kerri, I completely empathize. I dive in Puget Sound, where visibility is often poor, and I got certified in midsummer, when the algae blooms are the thickest. I had (and still have, to a lesser extent) tons of problems with getting disoriented when I didn't have a visual reference to the surface or the bottom.
What helped me was doing a bunch of shore dives, where we could follow the contour down. I also had to hook up with divers who were VERY diligent about staying with their buddies, because searching for my buddy was one of the things that made me unbearably anxious. That got me diving, and allowed me to become more comfortable with being underwater and the tasks one had to manage to dive. But it didn't fix the midwater collywobbles.
To work on that, I've had to do a lot of practicing, and trying to learn the cues that allow me to orient myself in green water. I had to learn to track bubbles, and feel my gear, and pay very close attention to my ears and to the movement of gas in my drysuit. I had to improve my own general stability and control, so that I could maintain a position that allowed me to track the downline or my buddies. I still don't LIKE midwater, and I still lose some control with my eyes CLOSED, but as long as they're open and I can keep some kind of visual cues, I do okay these days.
You're not alone in not liking poor viz, and my general rule is, if I can't see the bottom without putting my nose in it, it's not worth diving . . .