worst pun ever

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A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

A pessimist's blood type is always negative.

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
 
For those who have heard of the Algonquin Round Table...

Use the word "Horticulture" in a sentence.

If you don't get it, time for some research.

Mark Vlahos
 
A piece of string walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink.

"We don't serve your kind here, " responded the bartender, so the piece of string left.

Later on that evening the piece of string returned, this time all mangled and tangled up and again asked the bartender for a drink.

"Aren't you that piece of string I threw out of here earlier?" asked the bartender.

And the piece of string said, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot".
 
Mark Vlahos:
For those who have heard of the Algonquin Round Table...

Use the word "Horticulture" in a sentence.


crap... i know about Dorothy Paker and the ART... but didn't get the pun

frag
 
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....




A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
 
One for the geek in you:

Research has shown that overweight computer programmers are especially susceptible to the flu, that is, the burly nerd gets the germ.
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/teric/

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