OP
H2Andy
Contributor
bravo!
those ScubaBoard ones are priceless
those ScubaBoard ones are priceless
worst pun ever
- Thread starter H2Andy
- Start date
Please register or login
Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.
Benefits of registering include
- Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
- A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
- You can make this box go away
Why did ScubaBoard start taking on banner ads and sponsors?
ForPete'sSake
ForPete'sSake
Why did the diver over exaggerate his "so called under water emergency."
He forgot to take his Dramamine
He forgot to take his Dramamine
Guess who cleans the Mer House?
What is a Cave Divers favorite musical note?
A Cenote.
A Cenote.
Why is it that cave divers have such a hard time using thier fins on ocean dives?
They all have "spring" straps.
They all have "spring" straps.
Parrothead_Diver
Contributor
Heres one for Halloween:
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and, (hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and, (hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops
OP
H2Andy
Contributor
oh man....
i need one of those sepuku swords
i need one of those sepuku swords
A doctor was just starting out on his own, when he found that he just
had too much work to do. Now this man was brilliant, and had
particularly good people skills. Once he got a patient, they would
just not see anyone else.
It seems that this man had been reading recently about the advances in
cloning, and decided to have a clone made of himself to do his work
For years it worked perfectly. His clone took care of all his
patients, and he got to relax. However, the clone began to have some
personality disorders: it would insult patients, swear at them, and treat them very
badly. It got so bad that business was suffering. The doctor decided
that he just had to get rid of the clone or loose his business.
So......one morning on their morning jog.... they jogged right over a
bridge. The doctor pushed the clone over to his death.
The doctor again began seeing his old patients, and things were going
exceptionally well, until a fisherman "caught" the dead clone body in
the river. When the police found that the real doctor was still, in
fact, alive, and that this was a clone, they didn't know just what to
charge the doctor for doing wrong. After much deliberation, they
decided to charge him for......
had too much work to do. Now this man was brilliant, and had
particularly good people skills. Once he got a patient, they would
just not see anyone else.
It seems that this man had been reading recently about the advances in
cloning, and decided to have a clone made of himself to do his work
For years it worked perfectly. His clone took care of all his
patients, and he got to relax. However, the clone began to have some
personality disorders: it would insult patients, swear at them, and treat them very
badly. It got so bad that business was suffering. The doctor decided
that he just had to get rid of the clone or loose his business.
So......one morning on their morning jog.... they jogged right over a
bridge. The doctor pushed the clone over to his death.
The doctor again began seeing his old patients, and things were going
exceptionally well, until a fisherman "caught" the dead clone body in
the river. When the police found that the real doctor was still, in
fact, alive, and that this was a clone, they didn't know just what to
charge the doctor for doing wrong. After much deliberation, they
decided to charge him for......
Making an obscene clone fall.
It seems there was this scientist who spent years perfecting his own
version of the cloning technique. Finally he was ready to test his theories,
and decided to clone himself. He did so with amazing results, making a
PERFECT copy of himself, or so it seemed.....
This same guy tried again; he cloned himself and the clone did nothing
but cry. All day and all night, it just cried. So he put the clone away,
and tried again. This time, it just laughed. The clone would chuckle,
giggle, howl, just laugh uproariously all the time. This too was a
failure, so the poor man tried ONE LAST TIME. The clone, when it came out,
appeared flawless. But the first thing that happened when it was awakened
was, it SCREAMED! Then it screamed again, and again. It seemed as if it
would never stop.
"At last!" cried the scientist. "I have finally developed the
perfect....
version of the cloning technique. Finally he was ready to test his theories,
and decided to clone himself. He did so with amazing results, making a
PERFECT copy of himself, or so it seemed.....
This same guy tried again; he cloned himself and the clone did nothing
but cry. All day and all night, it just cried. So he put the clone away,
and tried again. This time, it just laughed. The clone would chuckle,
giggle, howl, just laugh uproariously all the time. This too was a
failure, so the poor man tried ONE LAST TIME. The clone, when it came out,
appeared flawless. But the first thing that happened when it was awakened
was, it SCREAMED! Then it screamed again, and again. It seemed as if it
would never stop.
"At last!" cried the scientist. "I have finally developed the
perfect....
I SCREAM CLONE!!
Similar threads
