Wife doesn't want to dive anymore due to botched freeflowing reg incident

[drrich2]

Hopefully she'll eventually take the Rescue diver course. There's a strong emphasis on 'stop, think, act' rather than 'freak out & bolt' (I don't mean that insulting!), and the basic idea is that it's mishaps + mishandled panic, rather than mishaps alone, that are most dangerous.

Perhaps she could practice a controlled ascent with a free-flowing reg. from depth later, so she has the confidence that she knows what to do when & if that happens again.

One thing I suspect, and it's my own theorizing, is that people differ in how they react to sudden onset intense anxiety (panic). While it's distressing to most anybody, some people either deny/intellectualize (try to think things through & act logically without regard to their feelings), some confront/attempt to master the anxiety - to 'get a hold of themselves,' and some tend to 'obey' the anxiety - they'll run bolt, start screaming, etc... What I'm saying is that while any of us can be subject to an anxiety attack, a person's attitude, personality and the coping strategies they tend to use impact how things go from there.

What I'm wondering is whether, in other settings, your wife tends to be an 'emotional/feeling' person or a 'logical/disciplined' person.

A future Rescue course could be a big help.

Richard.

 

[Cliffpiper]

Just a couple of points

1. I would have handed her my regulator straight from my mouth as I was pushing purge for her so she received a purged ready to breath regulator that she saw you using and could know that it was good to go.

2, Yes I would have grabbed her fin and pulled her down or slowed her ascent so that I could stuff the regulator in her mouth and hold it there while she gets the confidence to know it is good to go.

3. Training as you said is always good but How about just buddy dives that are easy and less than her head depth so that if she feels uncomfortable she can stand up. Then practice the out of air share both ways and let her know that as you are above water, underwater you will always be there for her.

4. I hope she is not able to read this post because I would not want her to think that she screwed up . It did not go as well as we would like but we are all alive and no chamber rides so it wasn't terrible. Now lets talk about what we can do different. Build her confidence in herself and you as a buddy. I teach drivers ed to a lot of spouses because they could not get through the condescending education method. Focus on what went well and then interject what "WE" could have done differently.

Lastly new regulators are a must not because what she has are bad but because she has lost confidence in them . If money is the issue have hers serviced and use them while she now owns yours. Old serviced regulators should work as they are designed so they must need some attention. The IP may just be set to high and that is a simple adjustment.

encourage her positively and then make sure she never reads this thread. Because what I read sounded like it could be a little condescending and that is not the way to win her back to diving

Diving with someone you love is a lot of work I love diving with my Daughters but I am more relaxed with a non family member because if my buddy is my family and they aren't coming back then nether am I. Other buddy's get "I am going to do my best for you however we aren't gong to have 2 victims here."

Again just my thoughts,

You do make some good points. Too late on reading the post though. She already read it. She is fine with it. We both know what went wrong and what to do differently next time. We talked about it for a while actually. The only issue is that while I was trying to do some of the things mentioned by others, namely give her my octo, she just bolted up. We agreed on the dive prior to diving it. She said she was fine with it. It was the initial dives prior to this dive that she wasn't comfortable. If I forgot to mention that I'm sorry. This was the 5th dive of the weekend and by this time she was fine with it. The only issue was when she felt like she couldn't get a breath because she went from freeflow air to a "meh performance" octo. But like I said, I'm getting a new octo, so no worries there. I wasn't trying to be condescending and even she said that she wasn't offended or anything by it. It just all happened so fast, and I realize that we both need to have a little more practice with this type of situation.

Thanks for your positive input.

 

[Herb-alaska]

Also, I stated I am getting her the Zeagle Flathead 7's. Are those junk regs? I'd love to hear some opinions because from my experience, they are not.

.

Check out the Hog Regulators by Edge they are great breathing regulators that will not break the bank and are very durable and not sensitive like some of the other regulators.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The regulators that you gave your wife are crap regulators because now she thinks they are and nothing is going to change that. Even if you changed the face plate so that they looked different wold make a difference to her confidence as along as she wasn't a regulator tech either. And if one tech says nothing is wrong and you still have problems then it is time for a new tech and if that tech finds a problem I would have him document it and then I would ask for my money back from the first guy because free flowing is not normal.

 

[Cliffpiper]

nothing to do with you.?
her buddy.
i think if she tried to do that from a bit deeper you would be more concerned.

just as well you dont venture into the sea.

If she had stayed a second longer and stayed calm, I assure you I would have either buddy breathed with her or I would have put the freeflowing reg back in her mouth. I'm not stupid. But yea, I couldn't control what was going through her head and she panicked and bolted. That has nothing to do with me. It doesn't. No matter how you try to pin it on me, it wasn't my fault that she bolted. She is sitting right here reading your post and saying that she doesn't see how you can decide if she feels comfortable with me or not when you have never met either of us. She chose to dive with me from day 1 because she felt comfortable with me. Stop trying to insult me or just keep your opinions to yourself.

She just panicked because she felt like she couldn't get a breath and she said that there is no one at that moment in time she would have sat there with to figure it out. It was her sole decision to bolt. Not mine.

---------- Post Merged at 06:39 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 06:34 PM ----------

Check out the Hog Regulators by Edge they are great breathing regulators that will not break the bank and are very durable and not sensitive like some of the other regulators.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The regulators that you gave your wife are crap regulators because now she thinks they are and nothing is going to change that. Even if you changed the face plate so that they looked different wold make a difference to her confidence as along as she wasn't a regulator tech either. And if one tech says nothing is wrong and you still have problems then it is time for a new tech and if that tech finds a problem I would have him document it and then I would ask for my money back from the first guy because free flowing is not normal.

Agreed 100% on that. I agree what you say about beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The event didn't even happen to me and I'm convinced now they are crap lol. I told her I wasn't letting her dive those regs anymore. That was actually my decision and she agreed with it saying she didn't want to. And yes, I'm not going through the that tech anymore, already made my mind up on that. I am actually going to start going through a whole other dive shop now.

But as far as the regs, I'm sending them to Aeris to get serviced and then I'm selling them. I have checked out HOG regs but haven't heard anything about them. At this moment, money isn't "too" big of an issue and I've just heard nothing but good about Zeagle.

---------- Post Merged at 06:46 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 06:34 PM ----------

Hopefully she'll eventually take the Rescue diver course. There's a strong emphasis on 'stop, think, act' rather than 'freak out & bolt' (I don't mean that insulting!), and the basic idea is that it's mishaps + mishandled panic, rather than mishaps alone, that are most dangerous.

Perhaps she could practice a controlled ascent with a free-flowing reg. from depth later, so she has the confidence that she knows what to do when & if that happens again.

One thing I suspect, and it's my own theorizing, is that people differ in how they react to sudden onset intense anxiety (panic). While it's distressing to most anybody, some people either deny/intellectualize (try to think things through & act logically without regard to their feelings), some confront/attempt to master the anxiety - to 'get a hold of themselves,' and some tend to 'obey' the anxiety - they'll run bolt, start screaming, etc... What I'm saying is that while any of us can be subject to an anxiety attack, a person's attitude, personality and the coping strategies they tend to use impact how things go from there.

What I'm wondering is whether, in other settings, your wife tends to be an 'emotional/feeling' person or a 'logical/disciplined' person.

A future Rescue course could be a big help.

Richard.

No insult was taken. She is more of a emotional/feeling type person in situations like this. If she was to practice it quite a bit more in a controlled situation I would say that she would be more logical/disciplined towards the issue at hand. She said that now that it's happened, she knows now what not to do and she will be much more calm because she knows what to do instead of bolting. I was trying to help her but she wouldn't let me because her own fear pushed her to surfacing.

Thanks for your reply.

---------- Post Merged at 06:48 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 06:34 PM ----------

My wife and I have read the whole thread now and I can say that we have both learned valuable lessons. Both of us thank all of you who have provided constructive positive feedback. Appreciated.

 

[Herb-alaska]

Check out Hog regulators before you buy. I have a set and my primary and octo are the same regulator so no mater what is coming off my 1st stage regulator the breathing will be the same. They are not fancy they are basic work horse good breathing regulators

 

[Cliffpiper]

Will do. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[Cave Diver]

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[freewillie]

I commend your wife for wanting to stay with the sport and give it another try. One thing that hasn't come out yet is how good of a swimmer is your wife. I've been in the water my whole life, even swam competetively on my high school swim team and lifeguarded for a summer. One of the things I've noticed that the better the swimmer the more confident the diver. It's not as much about swimming skills but confidence in the water. If the diver is not a very strong swimmer then they are more likely to "panic" underwater because they fear the water (and hence drowning) more.

After getting her new regs and a good performing octo (for her as much for you) then some pool time doing buddy breathing exercises and some more practice sipping off a free flowing regulator. It's about practice and feeling comfortable in water.

 

[dumpsterDiver]

Getting new regulators is not the solution. ANY modern regulator will perform fine in 50 feet (and probably 150 ft). The regulator needs to be adjusted. A more expensive, high performance regulator may be MORE prone to freeflow and may deliver even MORE air flow when it does occur.

I don't like the accusatory tone or the defensive tone. Having your buddy bolt to the surface with no reg in their mouth at a high rate of speed is very scarey for everyone involved. A good instructor or DM would most likley be able to avert an accelerated ascent, if they were close and noticed the freeflow immediately. I would have tried to grab her ankles, pull her to me, offer a reg and at the same time, try to allow an ascent rate of maybe 60 feet per minute, but in all honesty you would be guessing on the ascent rate. I would try to slow the ascent. The failure to do so is not a failure on the OP's part, but on the other hand, he probably shouldn't shrug it off as "nothing I can do".

I say the wife should be encouraged to get in the pool ASAP. If she is motivated, then she can immediately begin working on the freeflow breathing practice. If she is unwilling, then there are lotsa other sports, but if she is going to go into open water again, she must be absolutely sure that a freeflow is NOT going to have her even thinking of bolting to the surface. It is too dangerous to do otherwise. No fancy regulator is going to prevent a freeflow.

Also, if she was recently certified, we keep hearing about how short and inadequate Ow training is. She probably nearly killed herself, but I have seen many terrible, panic prone students learn to dive and become safe and confident and skilled divers. For some people, it will just take more time in the pool and maybe several highly supervised, shallow and easy dives in open water to get there. One really bad error should not preclude her from diving.

 

[redacted]

Panic is the killer and your wife has a problem that you both need to work on if she is going to be a safe diver. She needs to recognize that and then decide whether she wants to continue with scuba. She must overcome the urge to panic to become a safe diver. that mean realizing that a freeflowing regulator is just a minor inconvenience that must be safely dealt with.