Why do guys do it?

[Zoe83]

Is it just me or are all guys disrespective of their mates relationships? ALL of my bf's mates flirt with me, and the drunker they get the more blatant it is. now i cant say I'm not a flirt, but i DONT do it with my friends bf's or prospective ones at that. same goes for my bfs mates. i try and act like one of the guys or encourage them to talk to a girl they like. my bf isnt worried about it either, he says its understandable. I'm sorry but no its not, i would get rid of any girl friend of mine who did that with my bf, its disrespectful and insulting. its great that he trusts me but i just cant get over him not caring about his mates doing this. and i cant stop them from doing it, all i can do is put a stop to especially disrespectful behaviour on the spot, but they dont learn, they just keep doing it. I like attention but not like that. I would much prefer to be good mates and have a normal conversation that didnt involve increasingly inventive ways of asking for my number, or getting me out on my own. it hit breaking point the other nite when i took one onto the dance floor so he could find a girl he liked, and he didnt even try. he wouldnt stop looking at me and trying to get closer, everyone noticed. it really sucks and just puts me in a bad mood. no matter how much i tell them im happy and i love my bf, they wont stop. does this happen to anyone else? what do you do?

 

[jhelmuth]

Until you are married, I agree with your bf. You take a relationship much too serious before it actually is.

I'm married, so I don't flirt (cause I can't do anything about it if the flirting were to go farther)

 

[Zoe83]

I've been with him for almost 3 years, he moved here from the states for me, came 4 uni and couldnt leave me next yr im moving with him back to america, US govt needs us to be engaged for that, so we will be (kinda takes the big surprise out of it but im happy just the same). His mates know all this, thats why I'm getting annoyed with them. If it was a bf i had for under a year i wouldnt mind so much, but i find it rude given the circumstances. I see your point though, i shouldnt let it ruin my night.

 

[DyperBoi]

I have to disagree with the other poster, and agree with Zoe. Respectable guys know that no matter how flirtatious his buddy's girl is toward him, even if the girls wants to jump in the sack, he must reject all her advances because that is what real friends do.

By the same token, no respectable guy and friend hits on his buddies girl, these guys are no true friends of his, and she has absolutely every right to be annoyed.

Her boyfriend who refuses to put an end to the morons that he calls his friends also has no class, a gentleman does not allow his friends to treat his girl like that.

You can be fun, you can be easygoing, you can be funny, you can be friendly, all while displaying grace, class and dignity, and he and his friends seem to be displaying none of those traits.

 

[H2Andy]

as to "why do guys do it?" there may be several answers, depending on the guy:

1. they feel safe flirting with you since you are "taken"

2. they are hoping you'd ditch your bf and take up with them

3. they don't know how else to relate to a woman other than sexual flirtation (i.e.
this is their attempt at conversation with you)

hmmmmm... let's see... what else.... i'm sure there might be other reasons, but
it's late and i'm tired =(

as for the guy dancing with you, what's with that? that guy's
a loser and needs some quick education

 

[ScubaDadMiami]

Either you are in a relationship that is going somewhere or you're not. If you are, neither should flirt with anyone whether known or unknown persons. If your not, that is another story. Don't have a double standard.

 

[Zoe83]

Thanks for your replies. just to clarify, i dont flirt with them, they come on to me and i reject every pass or attempt. this doesnt stop them. my bf doesnt flirt with girls i know and he wont allow them to with him. the only time i flirt, i know this will make me sound like a bad person, but its to mine or someone's gain, ie. extra drink at a bar, let me in queues, fix my car, distract a guy while my friend goes for a girl etc, i figure if they are going to offer i am going to talk to them, why not. its happened to me b4 and ive learned from it. just a bit of fun, nothing serious. lotsa people do it. my bf doesnt mind and i dont mind if he does that in the opposite case. we know where we both stand. but when it is his FRIENDS, im dumbfounded as to why my bf is not annoyed, and why his friends still persist. maybe it is an insecurity all round...including my bf?

 

[miketsp]

I'd say your bf is getting a bit tired of you and is subconsciously hoping you'll disappear with one of his mates thus freeing him from his obligations with a clear conscience.
It's time for a change. Suggest breaking up. If it forces him to reevaluate, well & good.

 

[underwater daphne]

flirting is fine even in a serious relationship as long as the two of you don't mind and know when it's time to stop. what's terribly annoying is if your friends or bf's friends don't respect your relationship.
i wouldn't suggest breaking up unless you really mean it, silly games like that can be very strenous on a relationship.
talk to ur bf and talk to his friends. make it clear that you don't feel comfortable with the way they're treating you. it's your right to say no, flirting with strangers is more fun anyway.

 

[The Kraken]

cause they're guys that have been drinking!!
The alcohol removes some of the inhibitions, the Id creeps out and exposes some of the more primitive, hidden, base instincts of man.
It's an anthropological mutation based on consumption of intoxicating beverages.