Recent threads about the state of affairs of scuba training, whether and how the scuba industry might try to attract new divers, and what impact the dynamic of upselling new/existing divers on gear and training as the main source of revenue (since there are fewer new divers) might have on the scuba diving industry overall.
With no single voice trying to drive interest and demand for scuba diving, we are left with the various manufacturers, agencies, shops, boats, resorts, instructors, etc (and their individual, often conflicting messaging) in a desperate fight for the handful of people who have come to their own conclusion for whatever reason that they want to be a scuba diver.
To examine whether this approach has fostered a compelling value proposition that is attractive or repulsive from the potential new diver's point of view I present
Monty Pythons The Dive Industry Sketch
CAST:
LDS Owner: Michael Palin
Potential Customer: John Cleese
SCENE:
[A bell rings as the door to a dive shop swings open. A potential new customer rushes in out of the rain, approaches the counter, and patiently waits a few moments for the LDS owner who is busily dusting aging inventory to notice him.]
CUSTOMER: [Clears throat loudly.]
LDS OWNER: Oh
well hello there!
CUSTOMER: Good day. Ive come in to find out about
LDS OWNER: Come in to find out about how to Be A Diver have we? Wonderful!
CUSTOMER: Um, uh
LDS OWNER: Youre in luck! Were running a special on scuba diving certification!
CUSTOMER: "Hmm
"
LDS OWNER: "The class is $395. And you'll have to buy your own mask, fins, snorkel, booties..."
CUSTOMER: "That stuff isnt included in the course fee? What do you charge for that stuff?"
LDS OWNER: "Well it depends. Masks can run as high as $125 for a good one. Snorkels can be $40 for this fancy one. Booties are another $40. And these "Smoke-On-Your-Wallet" split-fins are $259."
CUSTOMER: "Hmm... so a new diver is looking at more than $800 before they even get wet?"
LDS OWNER: "Oh, heavens no..."
CUSTOMER: "Whew!"
LDS OWNER: "... you'll also want to factor in buying your own wetsuit. People pee in those things, you know!"
CUSTOMER: "Um..."
LDS OWNER: "... and a BCD, a regulator, a backup regulator, a computer, a backup computer..."
CUSTOMER: Why would I need backup gear?
LDS OWNER: In case your primary gear fails, of course.
CUSTOMER: Does the primary gear fail often?
LDS OWNER: With alarming regularity
theoretically speaking, of course.
CUSTOMER: "Um, so what does all that stuff cost? The training, the personal gear, and the other stuff you say I need?
LDS OWNER: "Right. Lets get down to business! Very direct, I like the way you think! [Starts piling gear on the counter and ringing customer up on cash register] Figure another $1,500 on the low end
maybe $2,500 on the high end. A few retractors
a snorkel keeper
some defog
Of course, someday you might dive TriMix... so you'll want this $2,000 gas-switching computer..."
CUSTOMER: "Um, perhaps a crazy thought sir
but cant I just rent that stuff when I take my wife and kids on our once-a-year vacation?"
LDS OWNER: "Oh, sure. You can always rent gear
if you want to die. This stuff is life-support equipment! And very delicate, too! Rental gear is usually 25yrs old, stored in a trash bin, and is only serviced by drunken chimpanzees after someone dies while using it. Besides, rental gear will be very different than what we use here in class
see these square buttons? [Points to LPI attached to a BCD] These square buttons could well be round buttons on rental gear! See what Im getting at? Youd really be in quite the pickle then, wouldnt you? Quite the pickle indeed!
CUSTOMER: Ok. But once I buy my own gear Im all set then, right?
LDS OWNER : Right.
CUSTOMER: Ok.
LDS OWNER: Except for the annual service.
CUSTOMER: Annual service!?!
LDS OWNER: Indeed. Life support equipment must be serviced every year! Can only be done by the guy we keep locked in the back room here at the shop. Cant expect to be able to turn a few screws or change a battery yourself, can you!
CUSTOMER: "So I'm looking at spending more money each year in service costs - on the $2,500 worth of gear you want me to buy today - than I would pay to rent the very same gear for the one trip each year I'm planning on taking?"
LDS OWNER: "Oh, heaven's no..."
CUSTOMER: "Whew!"
LDS OWNER: "You need to dive locally too! Of course you'll need a drysuit, and drysuit training, and your own tanks, and a redundant tank, and you'll want to get nitrox certified..."
CUSTOMER: "Wait, what!?! What's nitrox?"
LDS OWNER: "A special gas you need to breathe... it helps make diving safe."
CUSTOMER: "Wait, what!?! Is diving unsafe!?!"
LDS OWNER: "Oh heaven's no! As long as you take the Rescue Diver course..."
CUSTOMER: "What's a Rescue Diver course?"
LDS OWNER: "$450"
CUSTOMER: "No, no! Why do I need to take a Rescue Diver course?"
LDS OWNER: "So that your wife and kids don't die!"
CUSTOMER: "Huh!?!"
LDS OWNER: "...but youll need to take Advanced Open Water first..."
CUSTOMER: "I need to be an advanced diver?"
LDS OWNER: "Oh, heavens no! It's just that the OW course doesn't really teach you everything you need to know to go diving.
CUSTOMER: But arent there training standards?
LDS OWNER: Of course there are standards. [Wistfully staring out the window.] Though theyre not like they used to be, Ill tell you that much. Back when dive training was worth paying good money for it was done by navy seals, who would spend six months trying to kill you
"
CUSTOMER: So the standards are lower now?
LDS OWNER: Oh yes! Abysmally so. But not all training agencies are that way.
CUSTOMER: Whats a training agency?
LDS OWNER: They oversee the training. Well, technically speaking the instructor oversees the training, not the agency. The different agencies are just publishing companies, each with their own standards
CUSTOMER: So there ARE standards, then?
LDS OWNER: Oh, of course! Wouldnt be much of a profession without standards then, would it?
CUSTOMER: But if Im hearing you right, the standards
arent
actually
standard?
LDS OWNER: Right.
CUSTOMER: "So after spending $395 to get certified, for which I need to spend another $400 for personal gear, Ill need to take Nitrox, Drysuit, AOW, and Rescue Diver in order to really know how to dive
so I can spend another $2,000 per person for the rest of the gear, which will need to be serviced every year, because if I rent gear in the Cayman Islands
my wife, kids, and I will probably die?"
LDS OWNER: "Ah, yes! Been doing your research on ScubaBoard then, I see!?! I knew you were a sharp cookie!
CUSTOMER: Whats a ScubaBoard?
LDS OWNER: Great website, lots of divers there. Even cave divers post there, you know!
CUSTOMER: People dive in caves?
LDS OWNER: Whoa, lets not get ahead of ourselves, then. You havent even paid for THIS gear yet! [Presenting customer with lengthy bill.]
CUSTOMER: So thats roughly $20,000 in gear and training, plus annual service costs on four sets of gear, plus airfare, hotel, and food so that my wife, kids, and I can look at some pretty fishies once a year
assuming of course that we dont die?
LDS OWNER: Dont forget tips.
CUSTOMER: Tips?
LDS OWNER: Of course! For the DMs. Theyre professionals, you know! [Stares out the window, thoughtfully] Though, come to think of it
we dont actually pay them. [Snaps back to present.] Well, thats neither here nor there
CUSTOMER: Well, I guess its worth throwing the DM a few dollars knowing I can count on them to keep my wife, kids, and I from dying.
LDS OWNER: Right. Yes. Well
not exactly.
CUSTOMER: Seems like a lot of time, effort, and money for something that I really only see myself doing once or twice a year on vacation.
LDS OWNER: Dont forget the freezing cold quarry thats 4hrs from here!
CUSTOMER: What can we see in a freezing cold quarry?
LDS OWNER: Theres a school bus. Ooh
with a trout in it!
CUSTOMER: I see
LDS OWNER: Not with the viz we get up there after an OW class has come through, you wont
CUSTOMER: [Slowly backing towards the door.]
LDS OWNER: We have a class starting tonight
CUSTOMER: Yeah, um
ya know
my wife and kids are in the car... and
well
Im thinking
maybe
maybe well come back another time. [Heads for the door]
LDS OWNER: Oh you are a sharp cookie then! [Calling after the Customer as he exits shop] Waiting is a perfect idea! Youve no doubt read on ScubaBoard that theres a move afoot to make the training harder
and longer... and far more expensive if youre lucky! Then you can REALLY be a diver! Come back soon...
[Bell rings as the door closes. Through the shop window we see the customer getting into his car and driving off.]
LDS OWNERs WIFE (Terry Jones in drag): [Coming out from back room.] Was that a customer, dear?
LDS OWNER: Indeed! He said hell be back... with his wife and kids! [LDS Owner resumes dusting aging inventory]
[Scene shifts to interior of Customers car.]
CUSTOMERs WIFE (Eric Idle, in drag): [Speaking to husband, curtly.] Good heavens, what took so long in there?
CUSTOMER: Couldn't get a word in edgewise. He was going on about poor dive training
and expensive gear
and annual service costs
and how you and the kids will probably die if we take up scuba diving.
CUSTOMERs WIFE: Take up Scuba diving?
CUSTOMER: Indeed.
CUSTOMERs WIFE: Who wants to take up scuba diving?
CUSTOMER: Sorry, dear. He just seemed so excited
I didnt have the heart to tell him I only came in to ask if he knew what became of the vacuum cleaner shop that used to be next door.
Perhaps it's time?