When is it ok to leave a buddy?

[kelemvor]

I think rather than having a single rule you have to decide on the fly what makes sense. Are they doing something that causes you to be in danger if you stay with them? Leave them? Have you caught your buddy diving with someone else? Leave them.. well unless that's your thing... oh wait, that's not what you meant....

 

[Saniflush]

Only reason I'm asking is that after reading the "Most Frightening Moments" thread and "Bad Buddies" thread I was wondering exactly how far a person who is not an experienced diver should be willing to follow a buddy. What if you're going to go into decomp and they want to stay down longer? My instinct would be to say "Screw that, I'm ascending with or without them." Or if they're going past MOD, etc., etc. Basically if they're being reckless and not caring about your safety.

Once again your instincts are good. If you have signaled to them that you are going up they should as well. You are responsible for yourself and never let one potential accident turn into two.
These are all really good thoughts to have on your part but flesh these questions out on the surface. Most of the time I think you will find that you will have the answer to these questions without even having to ask them point blank. Crappy dive partners are the exception and not the rule.
Bottom line is hammer out the basic details above water. Dive experience, expectations, gear, etc enough so that you can enjoy the dive itself.

 

[flyboy08]

My commitment to my buddy is whatever we've discussed and agreed to topside. Period.

I need to be predictable to the best of my ability to fulfil my commitment as a "buddy".

This might be "See you back on the boat in two hours" or "I'm here for you to the end, even it kills me."

Mostly it's somewhere between those extremes and looks like: "We are here to help eachother until our help might severely impact our individual safety". I don't want a double fatality.

Cameron

Perfectly said!

I let my buddy(wife) do her thing and I follow like a lost puppy....my wife and daughter usually buddy and I do low flybys to make sure all is well during the dive....I like being an odd number and just swim with the flow....if I'm ooa, I'll grab the closest reg I find.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

NEVER leave your buddy. NOT even to collect shells or grab lobsters (happened to me as a newbie).

I'll disagree ... in fact, I think that is downright bad advice as stated. Diving is very situational, and there are few rules that are so absolute that they should begin with the word NEVER. This is one of them.

You have no obligation to stay with a buddy who is ...

(a) intentionally breaking the plan in a way that makes you uncomfortable
(b) diving in a dangerous manner (for example, doing a dive without adequate training)
(c) ignoring your signal to turn around or surface
(d) forcing you to dive above your training level in order to stay with him
(e) ...

There are several other legitimate reasons to decide to separate from your dive buddy. Almost all of them the result of your buddy doing something irresponsible.

As your mom always said, "Just because your buddy decides to jump off a cliff doesn't mean you have to go with him." Same applies to diving ... don't put yourself into a situation that may result in a rescue or body recovery because you think it's more important to stick with your dive buddy. All too often the irresponsible dive buddy will be fine ... it's the one who chose to stay with him who will end up being the subject of an Incidents and Accidents thread.

You, and ONLY you, are responsible for your safety ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

As an example ... you're diving on a wreck at recreational depths. You and your dive buddy are moderately experienced, and both have OW, AOW and Rescue training only. You are diving standard AL80 rental tanks. At 90 fsw you come upon what looks like an easy entry to the wreck. Your buddy, without warning, decides to check it out and disappears inside the wreck.

What do you do?

(a) follow him inside
(b) wait just outside the wreck, hoping he re-emerges
(c) look around, hoping for another buddy team you can hook up with
(d) ascend to the boat and put in first dibs on your buddy's dive gear when they recover his body
(e) ... other (please state what you'd do) ...

By the way ... this is a real scenario. It happens fairly regularly, in fact, on the Nanaimo wrecks ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Saniflush]

(b) wait just outside the wreck, hoping he re-emerges

Amended a bit. I would go to the entry point and stick my head in and try to get their attention to signal them. If I do not see them or I am ignored then I do one of two things. If I did not see them then I ascend making my safety stop and report it to the boat. If I saw them and they ignored me then I continue my dive without them while trying not to wish hateful things upon them..
Either way if they make it back onto the boat alive then there are going to be strong words exchanged since the dive plan would have been already hashed out beforehand.

 

[lv2dive]

On the Spiegel Grove, too, which is where my example came from!

As an example ... you're diving on a wreck at recreational depths. You and your dive buddy are moderately experienced, and both have OW, AOW and Rescue training only. You are diving standard AL80 rental tanks. At 90 fsw you come upon what looks like an easy entry to the wreck. Your buddy, without warning, decides to check it out and disappears inside the wreck.

What do you do?

(a) follow him inside
(b) wait just outside the wreck, hoping he re-emerges
(c) look around, hoping for another buddy team you can hook up with
(d) ascend to the boat and put in first dibs on your buddy's dive gear when they recover his body
(e) ... other (please state what you'd do) ...

By the way ... this is a real scenario. It happens fairly regularly, in fact, on the Nanaimo wrecks ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[TMHeimer]

Generally, you should be close enough to your buddy so that you can both stretch out your arms and touch hands. And on a night dive, you'll both have torches so you'll be able to see how far apart you are.

Generally, I too agree. Most of the diving I do around here and elsewhere varies with visibility. Better to be too close than too far. Positioning is also important--You have the leader and the follower is slightly behind and off to one side (so the leader doesn't develop a crook in the neck looking at buddy). Then occasionally you see your buddy's fins disappearing ahead into the fog. What's up with that?
One of the best (if not the best) buddies I've had I found on Scubaboard. Always knew where he was and he was close. He even paid me -- my only actual time as a "dive guide". Now that's a good buddy.

 

[mcohen1021]

Times it is ok to leave your buddy:

1. When they are being eaten by a shark
2. When they tell you the mermaid / merman is at 180 ft
3. When they get fished in by a trawler
4. When they purposely cut themselves to bring in sharks
5. When thy they to guide you to shore… in Cuba… And you’re in Belize…
6. When they try to tie chum to the back of your BC
7. When they try to cut your regulator hose because they thought it was cool when it happened to Mike Nelson in Sea Hunt

 

[AdivingBel]

As an example ... you're diving on a wreck at recreational depths. You and your dive buddy are moderately experienced, and both have OW, AOW and Rescue training only. You are diving standard AL80 rental tanks. At 90 fsw you come upon what looks like an easy entry to the wreck. Your buddy, without warning, decides to check it out and disappears inside the wreck.

What do you do?

Whatever was agreed to prior to splashing. As you said earlier, there are very few absolutes that cover all types of diving (i.e. training, environmental, cultural, dive type, experience, equipment, gas planning etc, etc.). If you're on a wreck dive, you definitely discuss penetrations on the surface because you know it's a possibility. I for one generally don't have a problem with "light to light" penetrations on a recreational dive. I would never impose/surprise that preference on an insta-buddy and we would discuss options before we ever got wet. You can assume very little just because it seems obvious to your style of training or your local diving. Scuba is a worldwide endeavor and SB is a worldwide audience. How smart you are is many times relative to where you're standing at any given moment. Best to discus things beforehand. It's the only way to KNOW. IMHO, YMMV.