Lynne,
You and I know that I've been where you are when I took DIR-F from Bob after doing Andrew's classes. Like you, I took other training just to see what else was out there and find out how different organizations do things. At the end of the day, I developed a respect for all my instructors, their agencies, and philosophies. It all made me a better diver and I'm a far better diver than I would be if I had just stayed in the DIR community. That GUE-F course really stuck in my craw though. But, it really was a blessing in disguise. If it wasn't for that I experience, I wouldn't be here to understand how you feel. It also made me work really hard to create the skills that got me the scores you know about in Tech 1. I still don't have a Fundies card though. Should that drive me crazy? I guess I'm okay with GUE Tech 1 instead.
In high school, I failed Algebra I. I had a teacher who had been a Colonel and professor at West Point until he retired from the Army. He decided to return to teaching in the public school system. On my first exam, I finished my solutions with x = 15 rather than taking the step out to x = 15, 15 = 15. Um ... no kidding! Or, does it? Philosophy courses in college would later question the validity of that. Anyway, I got an "F" on that test despite having an "A" for the actual math solutions. The dude was hard core. When I retook Algebra, I had a teacher who was the exact opposite of anything associated with an Army Colonel. Picture a math nerd with the glasses, comb-over, stripes with plaid, the pocket protector, the nerd uniform, but he was an outstanding man and an outstanding teacher. Kids who would have failed math and who were usually struggling in other courses excelled in his class. He could teach because he cared so passionately about us. He would stay late to help kids that needed it. If they were willing to make an effort, he was willing to give up his free time to help. A failure of a student was a failure for him. If a student didn't care enough to try, that was a failure for him to have motivated the desire to succeed.
How badly did your instructor want you to pass? Whose failure/provisional was it? Only you and your instructor know the answer to that.
I ended up in Tech 1 because a friend called and asked me to take the class with him because he wanted to pass. That was faith in me considering I didn't have a GUE-F card.
In due time, you may find yourself back in GUE Cave 2. Right now, there may be other lessons to be learned that will be invaluable later. When you are ready, when money is ready, when you are with the right team at the right time, the door will open again and you'll walk into class better for having not completed it the first time and emerge with lessons you may have missed the first time. That day may be around the corner or years in the future. Just believe in yourself.
"Don't say, 'No,' to yourself. There will always be others who will try to say, 'No,' for you." - Jim Bowden (Non-DIR deep cave explorer for Nadwidny.)