OP
Robert Phillips
Contributor
Sure you can. But we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork!
Kevfin:
"...we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork." - the Split
- Thread starter Robert Phillips
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OP
Robert Phillips
Contributor
I'll put my hands in front of my throat, pull you out of your hole, put your head in the toilet and ask "Who does Number Two work for?"
Kevfin:Come here Robert... I want you to have a nice close look at my retractor cable...
Good thing I can laugh at myself!
Yo, Reno 911. Nice mask glass. If you come in here with a mask that has reflective glass so we can't see your eyes, you're not cool. You just paid $80 for a $35 mask, and we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
And you, "Mr. Lobster bag on every dive", "Mr. Folding Pole Spear", "Mr. Carbine Spear Gun" - taking that bag with you on every single friggen dive, and its flapping gauges, retractors, snaps and other futile hunting crapola is only fresh if you don't come up empty handed on 8 out of 10 dives. And as for the spear, Tonto - 805 tramp-stamped muffintops think hunters are cool. Real chicks are repulsed by your stories and your Camel non-filters. Schlep that crapola on every dive and we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
Hey, you there - Skippy the Instructor and Master Diver... Yeah, you with the three maxed out credit cards, all the new gear and the legions of young adoring fans - feel free to take your class off their knees once in awhile. Lead does not equal warmth (yes, I heard some young handsom and clueless instructor tell that to a class of students two weeks ago, as this sage of sages pontificated on about his new $2900 drysuit set up) Listen, graduate yet another class of over-weighted, lawn darting, rototilling, hoovering clowns and we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
Mr Marine Biologist - yeah, you over-the-hill "I used to pull chicks" guy with the leather face, receeding hair and endless stories of your "1000 hours of research before you publish" - take a clue: We aren't listening. Its a boat, this is a galley, and its windy outside. We're sitting here as a last resort. Trust us, its a toss up between salt spray in the face, hiding out in the smelly head or enduring your self promoting, non-stop 90 MPH blathering. You're smart, but you're not engaging. Say one more word and we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
You there, 300# Dive Boat Sleeper. Here's a news flash: YOU SNORE! Get a cork, get some breathe-rite strips, bring an AL40 into the bunk with you and breathe off of that, or here's an idea, honker: go get that problem looked into. There are 20 of us on board, and you're rocking the house. I feel for you, I do. But please, San Andreas, grab a second pillow and quiet down or when you wake up, we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
Listen Ms Bungee Averse - wanna strap that tank in? You may have noticed this is a pitching sea, and things, well, pitch. Half the divers have already pitched their breakfast. You'll dive better when your tank hasn't fallen out of the tank station for the third time on the way to the dive site. When number four comes and you're crying cuz you can't dive because you again forgot to strap in and you've broken your cute, pink, high-performance Mares reg, we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
All of you that insist on donning your fins at your tank station and shuffling to the gate, here's a news flash: Those fins weren't made for walking. You have two hands - walk to the gate, fins in hand and DON THEM AT THE DAMN GATE. Watching you fall over like a cartoon character and crack your dome on the deck because a swell rolled in and your clown buddy, unknown to you, was standing on your finned foot will make us all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
OK - I still got a bunch more. This will get us started for round 3 before this gets yanked....
---
Ken
And you, "Mr. Lobster bag on every dive", "Mr. Folding Pole Spear", "Mr. Carbine Spear Gun" - taking that bag with you on every single friggen dive, and its flapping gauges, retractors, snaps and other futile hunting crapola is only fresh if you don't come up empty handed on 8 out of 10 dives. And as for the spear, Tonto - 805 tramp-stamped muffintops think hunters are cool. Real chicks are repulsed by your stories and your Camel non-filters. Schlep that crapola on every dive and we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
Hey, you there - Skippy the Instructor and Master Diver... Yeah, you with the three maxed out credit cards, all the new gear and the legions of young adoring fans - feel free to take your class off their knees once in awhile. Lead does not equal warmth (yes, I heard some young handsom and clueless instructor tell that to a class of students two weeks ago, as this sage of sages pontificated on about his new $2900 drysuit set up) Listen, graduate yet another class of over-weighted, lawn darting, rototilling, hoovering clowns and we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
Mr Marine Biologist - yeah, you over-the-hill "I used to pull chicks" guy with the leather face, receeding hair and endless stories of your "1000 hours of research before you publish" - take a clue: We aren't listening. Its a boat, this is a galley, and its windy outside. We're sitting here as a last resort. Trust us, its a toss up between salt spray in the face, hiding out in the smelly head or enduring your self promoting, non-stop 90 MPH blathering. You're smart, but you're not engaging. Say one more word and we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
You there, 300# Dive Boat Sleeper. Here's a news flash: YOU SNORE! Get a cork, get some breathe-rite strips, bring an AL40 into the bunk with you and breathe off of that, or here's an idea, honker: go get that problem looked into. There are 20 of us on board, and you're rocking the house. I feel for you, I do. But please, San Andreas, grab a second pillow and quiet down or when you wake up, we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
Listen Ms Bungee Averse - wanna strap that tank in? You may have noticed this is a pitching sea, and things, well, pitch. Half the divers have already pitched their breakfast. You'll dive better when your tank hasn't fallen out of the tank station for the third time on the way to the dive site. When number four comes and you're crying cuz you can't dive because you again forgot to strap in and you've broken your cute, pink, high-performance Mares reg, we'll all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
All of you that insist on donning your fins at your tank station and shuffling to the gate, here's a news flash: Those fins weren't made for walking. You have two hands - walk to the gate, fins in hand and DON THEM AT THE DAMN GATE. Watching you fall over like a cartoon character and crack your dome on the deck because a swell rolled in and your clown buddy, unknown to you, was standing on your finned foot will make us all laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.
OK - I still got a bunch more. This will get us started for round 3 before this gets yanked....
---
Ken
Codyjp
Contributor
I wasn't happy until I saw the 909 Reference. that made it so much better. 
Codyjp
Contributor
But really, use a console and you will... look like a dork. Consoles are only good for dragging ditches in the sand and sea life!
Codyjp:
Wait a minute... what about if you only have the console as a backup???
daniel f aleman
Contributor
Mo2vation is one funny dude.
Paying extra $$ for that blue H rather than a perfectly good DSS makes you look like you got a lot money to throw away, which I would rather take from you at the SI poker game.
Paying extra $$ for that blue H rather than a perfectly good DSS makes you look like you got a lot money to throw away, which I would rather take from you at the SI poker game.
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