Very strange thread -- would you dive with me?

[HenrikBP]

Interesting how ones perspective (our own "demons") can color perception

- critical of skills: yeah, but Lynne is most likely criticizing her own and not yours.

- diving with "regular" divers: Lynne has often mentioned how she'll dive with anyone, and how the first dive is an easy and shallow one geared towards getting to know each other.

- Screen name: the various interpretations are just hilarious

- high on team diving: even if you aren't you'd know you'd have a great buddy for that dive. And unless you did something stupid and/or dangerous, I doubt Lynne would have a problem.

I just don't see the problem ...

Henrik

 

[adurso]

You should have a friendlier avatar...one like mine perhaps....

 

[keithdiver]

Lynn, I do not know you at all. But i think you are a very safe, and cautious diver. The only thing scary is you avatar. Have a great dive.

 

[BabyDuck]

i'd *love* to go diving with you.

any time, girl! and any place!

(and though i knew the screenname was horse owning-related, i didn't know it was your kitties' initials!)

 

[Brian Sharpe]

I'd love to dive with you too.

A lesson I learned many years ago was that your tennis game doesn't improve if you go for the easy wins and play opponents that are weaker than you.

While diving is probably the farthest thing in the world from being a competitive sport (my fins are bigger than yours?) the same applies ie noobs like me benefit from diving with more experienced and skilled divers and, hopefully, as we gain experience and skill we in turn will become the mentors.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

In the last week, I've had three different people tell me that they were glad to have finally gotten to dive with me, because previously they were afraid to.

Afraid to? Afraid to dive with ME? Good heavens.

But now I'm beginning to understand why I keep offering to dive with new divers and nobody takes me up on it.

Would YOU dive with me? And if not, why not?

Yes, of course I'd dive with you ... every chance I get.

In fact, I can honestly say I'm a lot less afraid of you now than I was when we first started diving together ...

But I think your internet presence tends to intimidate some people ... because you set a high bar for yourself and they don't want you to think of them as less than up to your standards. Of course, those people don't know you and don't know that you wouldn't think any such thing.

Funny thing is, a lot of those people (like the one we dived with the other night) are pretty good divers ... they just don't see themselves as such. Which means, of course, that they're a lot like you ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Blackwood]

There is Rule 1 to consider...



I kid, I kid. Of course I'd dive with you.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Thanks, Gombessa; I hadn't considered that my propensity to blog everything might be an issue. I don't think I've ever written anything but happy stuff about dive buddies, though . . .

Except, of course, your husband ...

... but he enjoys it ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Hoomi]

See, THAT's the problem! I want to figure out how to dispel this . . .

The tough part of dispelling the thought that an experienced diver wouldn't want to dive with a n00b, is that the insecurity is on the part of the n00b. It many ways, it's kind of like a phobia. We can know it's not rational, but it's still real to us.

I can readily identify it, for instance, in my flute playing. I am far more self-conscious about my playing if there are other flute players around, particularly far more skilled ones than myself. They might be the most supportive and encouraging people I could meet, but in the back of my mind, there is still this nagging insecurity based on the idea that these people know how it should be done (after all, it's written on the sheet music how it's supposed to sound), and so they're going to spot my mistakes right away. Even though I know what's behind my insecurity, and even though I know the overwhelming majority of other flute players I know are helpful and friendly, I still can't completely exorcise that feeling of not being "good enough" for them.

In scuba, we have the element of fearing that, as less experienced divers, we're going to be resented a bit for "holding you back." I'm still learning my air management, so my dives aren't as long as they could be. I may not be able to go as deep, or cover as much distance. I might be concerned that you'll feel you need to keep a closer eye on me than you would with an experienced buddy, so you might not be able to enjoy the real scenery on the dive as much as you'd like. There are a lot of factors that play into this, and most are projected by us n00bs onto others, rather than being openly expressed against us.

I think communication is the best first step to dispelling the attitudes. I may not be able to completely erase the doubts from the back of my mind, but hearing that my doubts are unfounded is a good start.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

I don't think I would.... while I don't doubt you are a good diver, your constant need for self-validation would put me off. Threads like this are attention-seeking and I prefer cool, chilled out dive buddies - not anyone with enough neurosis to post a thread like this.

Wow ... there's one in every crowd ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)