I don't thing anyone has suggested shooting the bag after the onset of vertigo, but rather that it makes a lot more sense to shoot a bag prior to starting the ascent for a diver who has issues with vertigo in mid water. The purpose of teaching vertigo in instrument flight training it two fold - you need to know you can deal with it if it occurs, but more importantly you learn that you want to avoid it whene ever possible. Shooting a bag would help avoid the vertigo in the first place.Some people suggested that she should have sent up an smb, however if the severity of her vertigo was anything like the severity that I experience once in a while, performing that function would be impossible.
I did not want to come out and say it directly, but this is the heart of the matter. It's a known problem and the dive plan should have been made to avoid it, and then dove that way.Do you carry a lot of life insurance or does your husband have a girl on the side?
Fact #1: This is something that has happened to you before, more than once by the sound of it.
Fact #2: Your husband could see you the whole time and you weren't responding to his signals though you were obviously looking right at him at some point during the episode.
Fact #3: You were behaving in a visibly erratic as you tried to regain your bearings.
Fact #4: He didn't get his ass over to you to make sure everything was right in your world.
Assumption #1: Your husband was aware of your propensity to experience vertigo, right?
Assumption #2: Your husband wasn't having an issue that forced him to ascend without you for his safety.
Assumption #3: Your husband doesn't have any sort of issue that would have prevented him from coming to you while you were in difficulty.
Look, Lynne, I really can appreciate your taking full responsibility for what was going on with you under the water. That's the mature attitude to have. Obviously, I'm joking about his intent to see you come to harm. That said, it would seem your husband was a lousy buddy in more ways than one....
Based on your experience and known personal limits, you are not comfortable at an END of 90 ft in a cave and would consequently not accept a situation that woudl pace you at risk due to narcosis. Don't treat this any differently. Pete wanting to go shallow to conserve gas is a lame reason to place you in this situation. He needed to suck it up and accept a shorter second dive or look at other options such as switching to full tanks for dive 2, getting a new fill, or skipping a second dive. None of those options would have placed you at risk.
I think your plan to scooter in along the bottom was a good way to adapt the plan to conserve gas to meet Petes new goal, but communicating it was apparently problematic. You could use wet notes, but that takes time, so it also requires some discipline and a committment by the whole team to ensure the whole team understands and agrees with any mid dive changes in plans before executing the change. If in doubt, default to the original plan.
This may or may not apply to you but often it is a diving couples issue where both parties need to be fully aware of the interpersonal dynamics and be respectful enough not to take any liberties with a partner that they would not take with an unrelated team member. Technical diving couples also need to ensure they switch up the lead from dive to dive to ensure neither party gets cast in the role as "the" leader, and that everyone's skills stay sharp.
In any case, there needs to be a serious discussion/debrief to ensure that similar issues do not re-occur in the future. Marci and I have had a couple issues come up where we have had to come to agreement on how we handle dive plan changes and communication issues underwater, but the end result of resolvoing them has been an even better buddy team and very enjoyable dives even under very challenging conditions. A big part of that is continually being aware of how the other diver is doing and adjusting the plan or pace as needed to ensure everyone stays in their comfort level.