Unofficial Diving Dictionary

[grassyknoll]

It is Monday, and unfortunately I am back in the office instead of back in the water.
In the spirit of such irrelevant-but-enjoyable threads as Clayjar's Diving Haiku, I now present the Unoffical Diving Dictionary. Please feel free to add your own.

Siamese fins / n. A pair of divers (predominately just certified), the pair is usually comprised of one of each sex, male and female. Identifiable by their new and completely matching kits-BC, regs, mask, fins, snorkles, retractors and all other items will match.

Octopus scolder / n. Any diver who chastises another for not wearing their octo bungied around their neck.


Submersible Phallus Compensator (SPC) / n. This is a large to very large appendage carried by some divers. They are usually 12"-18" in length with a serrated or sharpened edge. (see also BFDK-Big Freakin' Dive Knife).

 

[Oriskany Divemaster]

Here are a few more:

http://www.oriskanydivemaster.com/definitions.htm

 

[Buoyant1]

Neoprene Toilet --see rental wetsuit

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Line Seizures(n.) - Non-medical condition seen in divers with a deathgrip on the anchor line in heavy current.

PDF(n.) - Not an electronic day planner, but rather, Post Dive Flatulence resulting from a combination of atmospheric pressure/release and unfamiliar tropical cuisine.

Warhammer(v.) An advanced inversion maneuver for dealing with a PDF that ends up being a "log" signalling for clearance. (Usually due to the aforementioned "tropical cuisine.") (us. "Dude... That was a raunchy Warhammer!" Or, "After a week of tacos, I totally had to do a Warhammer!")

 

[grassyknoll]

Warhammer(v.) An advanced inversion maneuver for dealing with a PDF that ends up being a "log" signalling for clearance. (Usually due to the aforementioned "tropical cuisine.") (us. "Dude... That was a raunchy Warhammer!" Or, "After a week of tacos, I totally had to do a Warhammer!")

__________________

Man, and it had just gottent to the point where I could close my eyes without seeing the "Warhammer", ugh, back to therapy for me.....

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Sorry, sorry... It had to be done, though.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Assent Line - the lie that you tell your wife in order to get her permission for you to go diving.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[grassyknoll]

Notrox Certified / n. Someone who puts Nitrox stickers on a plain air cylinder.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Earritation /n. Ears failing to clear on descent, reverse blocking on ascent, or remaining filled with water for hours after the dive. (See also, Yanker Line (cellphone call from an irate spouse), or whiny divers who complain about the water temperature, or are critical of others' gear.)

 

[Meng_Tze]

Cowboy : Large, usually over weight and unfit, 5 dives per year tourist diver who makes it a point to show the shortcomings of others (individuals, cultures, customs and countries) to deflect and defer from his own inability and understanding to dive safely. Often accompanied by Mrs Cowboy (often quiet) and one or two teenage cowboys in training (often ashamed looking) Also see Buckaroo