Tubes tied question
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mrjimboalaska
Contributor
SO,shellim123:I had my tubes tied last year. The doctor did not even question me. I have 2 children, a boy and a girl. There are no other kind. I have heard other women tell me they have had to jump through hoops to get this done. Age was a factor for other women. Asking the husbandI think that is going overboard! It is not his body! Just my .02
Are you saying "just do it if you want to, who cares what the husband thinks!" If so,
there is not much honesty and trust within the marraige. A decision such as this is one that both mom and dad should be on the same page with. I do believe the ultimate decision is the womans.
When I had the big V done, my wife had to sign a permission form. It was something we discussed beforehand, when she had natural childbirth for the second time and did not need a C section(had the C been needed, it had been decided by BOTH of us for her to have her tubes tied).
Families that make decisions together, tend to stay together. It is when one makes a selfish decision they tend to drift apart. As my kids get older, they are even allowed to weigh in on family decisions, and sometimes Mom and Dad even listen to them!
Of course, we have a goal to reach our 50th wedding anniversary, being married to only each other, much like our parents, grandparents and on down the line....
The "my body" / "one flesh" lines are firmly drawn. Ain't much point in hashing that out here...mrjimboalaska:
I recommend that argument be dropped. Now.
Rick
Bobbin-along
Guest
I have respect for my health care providers, and I expect that they treat me as the moderately reasonable person I am.
Refusing a vasectomy for my husband just because the Uro thought we were too young to make that decision (he was 35) at the time was a bit much.We did explain it was not health savy for me to have kids, and important to minimize my exposure to further anesthesia (so no tubal for me). He threw out the arguments about us possibly divorcing (we were at year 10) and then hubby couldn't procreate with a new wife, about how maybe a medical improvment would result in my risks being minimized to bear kids, and a few other scenarios. My oh-so-charming love of my life decided to play what he thought was a fun game he calls "silly logic"and made up his own scenarios in response FOR a vas.
They included:
It's better to get a vas now since he's had a few close calls with several of his mistresses
It's better he doesn't have his own genetic child because serial killers tend to pass that trait down
And my favorite, it's better for him to get the vas than me the tubal because he doesn't know how to operate any of the household appliances and as a result I'd have to still take care of the house and him while recovering.
I dearly love the man, but sometimes his wit gets him in trouble. Eventually we found another uro who did laugh at his "reasons" for a vas. But even then she made me come in, and talk with her in person about the gravity of our decision. She said if he checked "unmarried" on his form this wouldn't have happened, but since he checked "married" we had to have the counseling for both of us.
Refusing a vasectomy for my husband just because the Uro thought we were too young to make that decision (he was 35) at the time was a bit much.We did explain it was not health savy for me to have kids, and important to minimize my exposure to further anesthesia (so no tubal for me). He threw out the arguments about us possibly divorcing (we were at year 10) and then hubby couldn't procreate with a new wife, about how maybe a medical improvment would result in my risks being minimized to bear kids, and a few other scenarios. My oh-so-charming love of my life decided to play what he thought was a fun game he calls "silly logic"and made up his own scenarios in response FOR a vas.
They included:
It's better to get a vas now since he's had a few close calls with several of his mistresses
It's better he doesn't have his own genetic child because serial killers tend to pass that trait down
And my favorite, it's better for him to get the vas than me the tubal because he doesn't know how to operate any of the household appliances and as a result I'd have to still take care of the house and him while recovering.
I dearly love the man, but sometimes his wit gets him in trouble. Eventually we found another uro who did laugh at his "reasons" for a vas. But even then she made me come in, and talk with her in person about the gravity of our decision. She said if he checked "unmarried" on his form this wouldn't have happened, but since he checked "married" we had to have the counseling for both of us.
Peter_C
Contributor
I got hacked last year with no kids. The doc did a preliminary visit and when I explained my reasons, like over population, adoption is a great thing, etc, he actually understood. When he asked how long I had had these feelings and I replied, since I was about 16 years old he said no problem see you in two weeks, which is the normal think it over time. I was 36 years old at the time.
The surgery was a piece of cake and I am very glad I no longer have to worry about an accidental pregnancy, even with my gal on birth control, which she hated. It messed up her body.
The surgery was a piece of cake and I am very glad I no longer have to worry about an accidental pregnancy, even with my gal on birth control, which she hated. It messed up her body.
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What the ???? Biologically more predisposed? An obvious reason to send us for surgery.<sarcasim>catherine96821:
I had a V done after our daughter was born, and it was based on a decision by both my wife and myself. It had nothing to do with a predisposition to "roaming."
Yep, men are to blame.
mrjimboalaska
Contributor
Well Rick, If the woman is single, go to town! If married, her husband should at least be consulted......and if you noticed, I did say...."ultimately, the decision is the womans".Rick Murchison:
and works the same way if us men are married and want the V. In my case, my wife said "do it", I cow-toe'd myself down to the doctors Office.........
lamont
Contributor
mrjimboalaska:
That should be between the husband and the wife and as far as doctors and lawyers are concerned its the woman's body. If a wife doesn't want to consult her husband about it, that's her call and she'll reap whatever the effects are on her marriage.
KMD
Contributor
lamont:
Does the doctor also have a responsibility for their mental health and wellbeing when dealing with an elective surgery? If in their opinion of the doc, the decision being considered may be rash or has consiquences that the patient may have not considered, would it not be their duty to slow down the process to give time for second thoughts?
To put it another way, (for the most part) any woman going in to get her tubes tied will be dealing with a unique life changing decision while the doc may have delt with 50+ of these procedures and could be viewing the decision from a more detached perspective.
I think sometimes we view doctors like we view going through a fast food drive through. "Damn it I want fries, I ordered fries, now give them to me. chop chop! Plus you cost to much. Mcdoctos down the street will do it for cheaper"
Trianii
Guest
I worked in the psych field for about 15 years, and also worked for insurance companies....they are asking for a psych eval. Many times they are requested prior to major medical procedures that are voluntary, risky, life-altering, etc... (like gastric bypass)
I've heard of it with voluntary sterilization, especially if the couple is young or the kids they have are all the same gender. Don't know if it is illegal, but it may be a pre-requisite for insurance authorization to pay, if nothing else. That way they can't go back and say they were uninformed, acting on impulse, or that she was suffering from post-partum depression and made a rash decision that they want reversed.....and want the insurance to pay for it. It may be a requirement for liability insurance on the part of the doctor and/or hospital. Most people think of it as a low risk procedure since the body parts are all still there, but there are still some potential serious issues (lack of blood to the ovaries can cause serious problems-my best friend suffers from exactly that). They want to be sure the person is capable of grasping them, and is able to give what is called "informed consent" to the treatment or procedure.
I've heard of it with voluntary sterilization, especially if the couple is young or the kids they have are all the same gender. Don't know if it is illegal, but it may be a pre-requisite for insurance authorization to pay, if nothing else. That way they can't go back and say they were uninformed, acting on impulse, or that she was suffering from post-partum depression and made a rash decision that they want reversed.....and want the insurance to pay for it. It may be a requirement for liability insurance on the part of the doctor and/or hospital. Most people think of it as a low risk procedure since the body parts are all still there, but there are still some potential serious issues (lack of blood to the ovaries can cause serious problems-my best friend suffers from exactly that). They want to be sure the person is capable of grasping them, and is able to give what is called "informed consent" to the treatment or procedure.
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