Suggestion Travel with non diving spouses

[Big Dan K]

What about adding a forum for travel with non divers? I meet a lot of other divers who are in my predicament. Our ability to do reef diving trips requires keeping the non diving spouse happy. We must find destinations and hotels our spouse likes, dive in the morning, and be back in time for lunch and afternoons/evenings with the spouse. I learn a lot sharing tips and reviews of various destinations with other divers who share my handicap

 

[Russell Bowyer]

Just show your wife this post........ and when she hears that she is a handicap, then you'll have all the time in the world for diving whenever you want to!

But seriously....... that's what I love about shore diving Bonaire. Easy to accommodate schedules because there is no schedule.

Hi - the last time I dived Bonaire I went with a partner who dived with me, and the diving was great and cheap! But my wife doesn't dive, but I'd love to go back to Bonaire and dive there, but it's about getting a dive buddy. So what do you do about a dive buddy in Bonaire?

 

[drrich2]

So what do you do about a dive buddy in Bonaire?

Get solo certified and that problem can go away.

Richard.

 

[Russell Bowyer]

Hi Richard,

Thank you for replying.

The level of experience and the number of dives I've done would qualify me to solo dive, but I personally don't agree with diving solo. It goes against all the teaching I've received with BSAC, and all the teaching I've taught when I used to teach diving at BSAC.

I know there are find a buddy sites, but I wanted to see how you found someone, but obviously you didn't!! LOL.

My reasoning for not wanting to solo dive is more than the teaching side. It is because I've had to rescue 2 divers whose kit went wrong underwater at 15-20 metres, and had I not been there, I am not sure they would be here today.

Have you ever had any situations for you yourself, or have you been involved in any rescues that you personal took part in yourself?

Cheers, Russell

 

[Chavodel8en]

My wife doesnt dive, and neither do any of my friends.

You just make do. I dont go on dedicated dive trips. I travel and catch a morning or two of dives here and there. These are the sacrifices you make as a part of being married. Im not complaining, I enjoy doing other things when I travel.

One thing to look into is if early morning diving is available. Often you can find that from the operator's website, but sometimes they are not clear about the return time.

One suggestion - go with operators with their own boat, who can more surely control the schedule. I have been in situations w/ lots of different groups on one boat, and the schedule can go out the door.

Just got back from Oahu, and two mornings of dives had us back at the dock by 11:00 am or so. Plenty of time to get back for afternoon activities. Lots of early morning dives available in Oahu - although I had to drive 30 min back to Kailua where we were staying.

When we went to La Paz last Dec., its long boat rides meant we didnt get back until 2:00pm or so, so I only did one morning of dives. Another example, we went to Barcelona/Costa Brava in 2019 - not exactly a dive destination, but i caught one morning of diving the Cap de Creus when we were in Roses. Not spectacular diving, but it was worthwhile.

And of course, I do all my local diving in Monterey/Carmel without my wife.

One alternative to a sub-forum is a sticky thread in the general travel forum.

 

[drrich2]

Have you ever had any situations for you yourself, or have you been involved in any rescues that you personal took part in yourself?

Haven't had to rescue anybody else. Have run into 'issues' before diving, something I suspect the 100 dive minimum for the SDI Solo Diver course, and training in it, are intended to give someone a chance to experience. I generally solo in benign conditions, mainly shore diving.

Everyone has to make their own judgment call on risk assessment and tolerance (often without considering hard numbers; many people fear shark attack but not their bathrooms, though the latter is way more likely to kill you). A strong anti-solo bias is often indoctrinated into new dive students and new divers early on with the intention of keeping them out of trouble/risky behaviors, but indoctrination can go too far. A seasoned solo diver diving benign conditions may be lower risk than some newer divers in buddy pairs. Yes, there's potential for problems where a buddy could make the difference. Then again, if you only dove with trained rescue-certified divers, or with a buddy with EMT or paramedic training, your risk would be even lower.

And no matter what you do, there's always risk. Solo diving is a bit like overhead diving and deco. diving; new divers and people without training and experience to deal with the issues would be well-advised not to do it, but those who get those things can reasonably do so. To use your terminology, while I'm scared of cave diving and have no intention to doing any, it's not that I 'don't agree' with cave diving, it's just not for me.

Solo training and certification does not commit a person to only diving solo going forward. It sometimes opens up the opportunity, which may come in handy for a variety of reasons.

In the Bonaire situation, you may find some kind of buddy sign up board as an option. You then depend on connecting with a stranger, personal chemistry between you may or may not be good, there's a decent chance one of you doesn't want to do as many dives as the other, maybe one likes to start out early and the other prefers to sleep in, and divers vary widely in their views of the buddy system - how close to stay together, how tightly integrated to be, etc...

Solo you can dive when/where/how/how-many-times you want. No navigating interpersonal issues, compromising your desires with someone else's, etc...

 

[drrich2]

@Russell Bowyer

Following up the buddy board thing, here's a Dive Friends Bonaire webpage with this blurb:

---

I don’t have a buddy, can you help me find one?​

Yes, we have several different options for you.

• Pre-book a guided shore dive to get in the water right away and take care of your buoyancy check.
• Sign up for a boat dive for two guided dives and a great way to meet other divers.
  Write your name and contact info on our “Looking for a buddy” board at Yellow Submarine, Hamlet Oasis, and Dive Inn.
• Sign up for a course. Even if you are a very experienced diver, we offer a wide range of training; you get an instructor as a buddy, and a new certification card.

---

Some people use V.I.P. Diving Bonaire for paid guided shore diving; Buddy Dive Resort has the option to hire a dive guide, too.

You could go on some boat dives or spend time at the on-site dive resort bar and try to bond with a potential dive buddy there.

My 1st 4 trips to Bonaire were with a dive club group, and my wife and a regular buddy were with me. If you travel with a group, this is less likely to be a problem.

Some people post on ScubaBoard trying to make buddy arrangements, but someone might not make it down as planned, so it's good to have a Plan B.

 

[Russell Bowyer]

Haven't had to rescue anybody else. Have run into 'issues' before diving, something I suspect the 100 dive minimum for the SDI Solo Diver course, and training in it, are intended to give someone a chance to experience. I generally solo in benign conditions, mainly shore diving.

Everyone has to make their own judgment call on risk assessment and tolerance (often without considering hard numbers; many people fear shark attack but not their bathrooms, though the latter is way more likely to kill you). A strong anti-solo bias is often indoctrinated into new dive students and new divers early on with the intention of keeping them out of trouble/risky behaviors, but indoctrination can go too far. A seasoned solo diver diving benign conditions may be lower risk than some newer divers in buddy pairs. Yes, there's potential for problems where a buddy could make the difference. Then again, if you only dove with trained rescue-certified divers, or with a buddy with EMT or paramedic training, your risk would be even lower.

And no matter what you do, there's always risk. Solo diving is a bit like overhead diving and deco. diving; new divers and people without training and experience to deal with the issues would be well-advised not to do it, but those who get those things can reasonably do so. To use your terminology, while I'm scared of cave diving and have no intention to doing any, it's not that I 'don't agree' with cave diving, it's just not for me.

Solo training and certification does not commit a person to only diving solo going forward. It sometimes opens up the opportunity, which may come in handy for a variety of reasons.

In the Bonaire situation, you may find some kind of buddy sign up board as an option. You then depend on connecting with a stranger, personal chemistry between you may or may not be good, there's a decent chance one of you doesn't want to do as many dives as the other, maybe one likes to start out early and the other prefers to sleep in, and divers vary widely in their views of the buddy system - how close to stay together, how tightly integrated to be, etc...

Solo you can dive when/where/how/how-many-times you want. No navigating interpersonal issues, compromising your desires with someone else's, etc...

You make some very good points, and often times I’m asked to buddy up with either inexperienced divers or nervous divers because of my training, which does leave me vulnerable as they probably don’t have the first clue about how to “rescue” me in a situation, especially if they are a newly certified PADI diver who have no safety training at all and don’t have the first clue about how to rescue a fellow diver (they are safe with me, but not the other way around) and you make a good point, so actually I’m probably no worse off diving solo, as a newbie diver may not even notice me dying on the bottom!! Sorry a bit dramatic, but I got your point. Not necessarily thought about it that way.

I also accept that it’s not always easy to buddy up with someone. I did this recently diving in Cornwall in the UK and it worked out ok.

Funnily enough when I last dived in Bonaire with the dive partner I had at the time, I had a guy on our resort ask me if he could dive with us. I ended up rescuing this guy from 20 metres as his regulator stopped working! It was a good job I was there because of my diligence as a dive leader I spotted him in difficulty, as it looked like he was tickling his neck rather than give a proper out of air signal. It was only when I looked at his eyes when I realised he was in trouble and he needed my help. To make the point, and to highlight what you are saying, my partner was relatively new to diving and had no idea what was going on!

I did give him a bit of a rollocking when we got to the surface about making sure to give a proper out of air signal if that ever happened to him again!

 

[Russell Bowyer]

@Russell Bowyer

Following up the buddy board thing, here's a Dive Friends Bonaire webpage with this blurb:

---

I don’t have a buddy, can you help me find one?​

Yes, we have several different options for you.

• Pre-book a guided shore dive to get in the water right away and take care of your buoyancy check.
• Sign up for a boat dive for two guided dives and a great way to meet other divers.
  Write your name and contact info on our “Looking for a buddy” board at Yellow Submarine, Hamlet Oasis, and Dive Inn.
• Sign up for a course. Even if you are a very experienced diver, we offer a wide range of training; you get an instructor as a buddy, and a new certification card.

---

Some people use V.I.P. Diving Bonaire for paid guided shore diving; Buddy Dive Resort has the option to hire a dive guide, too.

You could go on some boat dives or spend time at the on-site dive resort bar and try to bond with a potential dive buddy there.

My 1st 4 trips to Bonaire were with a dive club group, and my wife and a regular buddy were with me. If you travel with a group, this is less likely to be a problem.

Some people post on ScubaBoard trying to make buddy arrangements, but someone might not make it down as planned, so it's good to have a Plan B.

Thank you for this, although I am talking about the shore diving in Bonaire rather than diving on a boat, which is one of the best things about the diving in Bonaire and why it’s so cheap. If I go again I will perhaps try using the ScubaBoard or a buddy site, as I don’t necessarily want to spend on a dive guide, although not sure how expensive this is. I remember only paying something like $99 for unlimited air fills, which was so cheap. We simply hired a pickup truck and drove to all the dive sites we wanted, dived, then took the tanks back for two new filled ones and dived again, it’s was great!

Also, and I hope this doesn’t come across as sounding arrogant, I don’t need any more diver training, but thank you. Just for the record, I used to teach diving myself.

 

[drrich2]

Also, and I hope this doesn’t come across as sounding arrogant, I don’t need any more diver training, but thank you. Just for the record, I used to teach diving myself.

Not at all, and I didn't mean to imply you did. My point was that the added risk of solo over buddy diving can be adequately mitigated (such as through formal training in a solo course, but not exclusively by that route), much as the risks of overhead diving (e.g.: caves, wreck penetrations) can be. I didn't mean to imply anything negative about your capabilities.

I imagine those sign up boards seeking buddies are often used to find buddies for shore diving.

I, too, see shore diving freedom as the glory of Bonaire. It's good Caribbean diving, but if it were only by boat, then it'd have to compete more with the Caymans, the outer atolls of Belize via liveaboard, Roatan, etc..., and I wouldn't have gone to Bonaire 10 times on that basis.

 

[NothingClever]

Do we really need another sub-forum?